英語幽默笑話匯總

　　英語幽默笑話 卷煙廠都失火

　　Mary was so disgusted at her husband's cigarette smoking that she complained to him one day.‘I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday .’‘Don't worry ,dear. All the cigarettes will be on fire sooner or later .’He said with a smile.

　　瑪麗非常討厭丈夫吸煙，一天她對丈夫抱怨說：“我希望有一天所有卷煙廠都失火。”“不用擔(dān)心，親愛的，所有的煙卷遲早都會點(diǎn)著的。”他笑著說

　　英語幽默笑話 成年人的抉擇

　　The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a have tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for one.He argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions. Sure enough,a few days after his 18th birthday,he come home with a tattoo. Although l was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculin', he had chosen. There, on his shoulder,was a two inch image of Mickey Mouse.

　　我兒子十八歲前的那一年，常常向我提出準(zhǔn)許他文身。但我拒絕允許他這么做。他爭辯說他不久就要成為男子漢了，并說他應(yīng)該能夠做出成年人的抉擇了。果然，十八歲生日的'幾天后，他文了身，回到家里。盡管我對此感到不高興，但出于好奇，我想看看他選擇了什么雄性象征物。原來他在肩上文了一個(gè)兩英寸長的米老鼠像。

　　英語幽默笑話 和上帝對話

　　He says: "God,what is a million dollars to you?"and God says: "A penny,then the man says: "God,what is a million years to you?”and God says: ¨a second", then the man says: “God,can I have a penny ?"and God says:"In a second."

　　他問：“主啊，一百萬美元對你意味著多少?”上帝回答：¨一便士�！� 男子又問：“那一百萬年呢，?”上帝說：“一秒鐘�！弊詈竽凶诱埱蟮溃骸鄙系�，我能得到一便士嗎?“上帝回答：“過一秒鐘。”

　　英語幽默笑話 可以借用一下嗎

　　Are you using your mower this afternoon?

　　今天下午你準(zhǔn)備用割草機(jī)嗎?

　　Mr. Johnson:Are you using your mower this afternoon?

　　約翰遜先生：今天下午你準(zhǔn)備用割草機(jī)嗎?

　　Mr. Smith.Yes.

　　史密斯先生：是的。

　　Mr. Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it ?

　　約翰遜先生：太好了。既然您不用網(wǎng)球拍，那我可以借用一下嗎?

　　英語幽默笑話 媽媽不見了

　　A little girl was lost, so she went up to a policeman and said, "l've lost my moml" The cop said,"What's she like?" The little girl replied,"Shopping and gossiping!”

　　有一個(gè)小女孩走丟了，于是她走到一個(gè)警察跟前說：“我媽媽不見了!”這個(gè)警察說：“她什么樣子?”小女孩回答：“買東西和說閑話!”

　　英語幽默笑話 Get the kid

　　A bit of advice for those about to retire. lf you are only 65,never move to ansrUrement community. Everybody else is in their 71s, 80s,or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded,they yell,"Get the kid.

　　這里想對將要退休的人提一點(diǎn)忠告。如果你只有65歲的話，千萬別進(jìn)退休社區(qū)。因?yàn)槟抢锏娜硕计甙耸畾q或者八九十歲了。每當(dāng)要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時(shí)，他們會喊，“讓小的干吧。

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