英文幽默笑話及譯文
你當(dāng)真愛我嗎？
One day,Eve asked Adam,"Do you really love me?
一天，夏娃問亞當(dāng)：“你當(dāng)真愛我嗎？”
Adam said helplessly, "Do I have any other choice?"
亞當(dāng)無可奈何地回答：“我還有別的選擇嗎？
英語笑話：補(bǔ)衣服
To patch the hole of pants
補(bǔ)衣服
A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible, "she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”
一位年輕的丈夫下班回到家里，發(fā)現(xiàn)新娘心煩意亂�！拔倚睦锾y受了，她說，我在給你熨西裝時(shí)把褲子的臀部燒了個(gè)大洞。 ”
"Forget It,n"said her husband. "Remember that l've got an extra pair of pants for that suit．
“沒事兒，”丈夫安慰她說，你忘了我這套衣服有兩條褲子。
"Yes,”said the woman.cheering up. "And it's luckY you have.I used another pants to patch the hole."
”是的，“妻子高興地說，幸虧你還有一條，我后來就用它來補(bǔ)了這個(gè)洞了。
我要射死他
A:What would you do if you find your husband date with another woman?
A：如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)你丈夫與別的女人約會(huì)你會(huì)怎么做?
B:lill open one eye and close one eye.
B：我會(huì)睜一只眼，閉一只眼。
A:How kind you are!
A:你太善良了！
B：No，I'II shoot him!
B：不，我要射死他
馬打電話來了
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of thei head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for ?"She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with'Betty Sue'written on it.'Ha says, "Jeez,honey, 'Betty Sue'was the name of the horse I bet on.H She shrugs and walks away.
一個(gè)家伙正在看報(bào)紙，他的'妻子走到他身后，用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。他問道：“這是為什么？”她說：“我在你口袋里發(fā)現(xiàn)了一張寫有‘BettY Sue’的紙條。"他說：¨哎呀，親愛的，‘BettYSue’是我賭的那匹馬的名字�？谒柫寺柤�，走了。
Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?一she answers, "Your horse called."
三天后，他正在看報(bào)紙，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。他問：這又是為什么？“她答道：-你的馬打電話來了�！�
死于肝癌
Wife:you see. According to the statistics on the paper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.
妻子：你看這張報(bào)紙，據(jù)統(tǒng)計(jì)，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。
Husband: lt's okay. To my investigation,all these people eat meals.
丈夫：那有什么？據(jù)我調(diào)查，死于肝癌的人100%都吃飯的。
你精神正常嗎？
Are you a normal person?
你精神正常嗎？
During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?""Well..."said the director, "we fill up a bathtub,and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup,and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."Oh,I understand,n said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."Noooooooo! n answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."
一個(gè)參觀者在參觀一所精神病院的時(shí)候問院長(zhǎng)，”你們是用什么標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來決定一個(gè)人是否應(yīng)該進(jìn)精神病院呢？””哦……¨院長(zhǎng)說，“是這樣，我們先給一個(gè)浴缸放滿水，然后我們給病人一個(gè)茶匙，一個(gè)茶杯和一個(gè)水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清�！芭�，我明白了¨，參觀者說，”正常人會(huì)選擇水桶，因?yàn)樗氨炔璩缀筒璞娜莘e大�！薄卞e(cuò)了”，院長(zhǎng)回答道，正常人會(huì)把浴缸塞子拔掉。
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