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英語笑話之如何致富？
1、 Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.
弟弟：我看見你親我姐姐了，如果你不給我五分錢，我就告訴我爸。姐姐的男朋友：不要那樣做。給你五分錢。弟弟：我這個月已經(jīng)賺了一塊兩毛五了。
2、 Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.
But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.
Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!
艾莫斯問媽媽他們是否能買一臺錄像機(jī)。
恐怕我們還買不起，媽媽嘆息著說。
可第二天當(dāng)艾莫斯回來時，他搖搖晃晃地搬著一臺全新的錄像機(jī)。
你究竟是哪兒來的錢買這東西?媽媽大吃一驚，喘著氣說。
媽媽，這簡單， 艾曼斯回答。我把電視機(jī)給賣了!
3、"Ten steps from the porch(門廊) and twenty steps from the rose bushes," growled Bluebeard in Jimmy's dream one night. "There be treasure there! Aawrgh."
So the next day Jimmy began to dig. He dug until the hole was deep and the dirt pile was high.
He kept digging. The hole got deeper and the dirt pile got higher.
He dug until the hole was deepest and the dirt pile was at its highest. He sighed. "I'm too tired. I can't dig anymore." Then he spied something... but it was only one of Woofy's bones. Instead of treasure, all Jimmy had was a dog bone, a hole, and a big pile of dirt to fill it in with. He thought "That pirate lied to me!"
But when Jimmy's mother saw what he had done, she clasped(緊抱，扣緊) her hands and smiled a smile from here to Sunday. "Oh, thank you, Jimmy. I always wanted a rhododendron(杜鵑) bush planted just there. Here's $5.00 for digging that hole."
4、 A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?
一位年輕的母親認(rèn)為，世界上還有許多受饑餓的人，浪費(fèi)食物真不應(yīng)該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑面包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬涂在面包上。母親看了女兒幾秒鐘，隨即說道，露茜，當(dāng)我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃面包加黃油，或者面包加果醬，從來沒有面包既加黃油又加果醬。露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然后她柔聲說：您現(xiàn)在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎?
5、One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.
The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
一天，小女孩從學(xué)校回到家里，對媽媽說：媽媽，今天在學(xué)校里我因?yàn)橐患覜]有做的事情而受到懲罰。
媽媽激動地說：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老師好好談一談，對了，你沒有做過的那件事是什么?
小女孩回答說：我的家庭作業(yè)。
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