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5分鐘英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇劇本（通用8篇）
話劇指以對(duì)話方式為主的戲劇形式，于19世紀(jì)末20世紀(jì)初來(lái)到中國(guó)。與傳統(tǒng)舞臺(tái)劇、戲曲相區(qū)別，話劇主要敘述手段為演員在臺(tái)上無(wú)伴奏的對(duì)白或獨(dú)白，但可以使用少量音樂(lè)、歌唱等。以下是小編整理的5分鐘英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇劇本，歡迎閱讀。
5分鐘英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇劇本 1
The Clever Rabbits（聰明小兔）
角色：
Red Eyes（紅眼睛）Long Ears（長(zhǎng)耳朵）Short Tail（短尾巴）
Big Wolf（大灰狼）Mother Rabbit（兔媽媽）
Storyteller翻譯官
道具 房子，玩具、凳子，桌子，一棵樹(shù)等。
布景 一座有門(mén)的房子里擺著一張桌子、幾個(gè)凳子和一些玩具。
SceneI Three Rabbits（三只小兔子）
（一）
Storyteller:The Mother Rabbit has red Eyes,Long Ears and Short Tail.
兔媽媽有三個(gè)孩子，她給他們起名叫紅眼睛、長(zhǎng)耳朵和短尾巴。）
Red Eyes:（Coming to the front.上前。）
Hello!I"m Red Eyes.Glad to see you.
�。愫�！我是紅眼睛。見(jiàn)到你很高興。）
Long Ears:（Touch his long ears.著他的長(zhǎng)耳朵。）
Hi!How do you do? Nice to see you.My name is Long Ears.
�。ㄠ耍∧愫�！很高興見(jiàn)到你。我叫長(zhǎng)耳朵。）
Short Tail:（Show his tail.展示他的尾巴。）
Hello,boys and girls! I"m Short Tail.
（小朋友們，你們好！我是短尾巴。見(jiàn)到大家我很高興。）
After this,they are playing games in隨后，他們就在房子里玩游戲。）
�。ǘ�
Storyteller:A big wolf is hiding be-idea.Just then,the Mother Rabbit is the arm.
（一只大灰狼正躲在樹(shù)后，他在打著壞主意。這時(shí)，兔媽媽提著一籃子蘿卜回來(lái)了。） Mother Rabbit:（Singing a song.唱起了歌。） Little Rabbits,open the door.
�。ㄐ⊥米庸怨�，把門(mén)開(kāi)開(kāi)，媽媽回來(lái)了。）
Big Wolf:Ah,I know their secret.啊，我知道他們的秘密了。）
Mother Rabbit:（Walking into the house.進(jìn)了家門(mén)。）
Good evening,my children.Are you hungry?
Let"s have supper!
（晚上好，孩子們！你們餓了吧？咱們吃晚飯吧。）
Storyteller: The Big Bad Wolves（大灰狼來(lái)了）
Storyteller:Then next day,the（第二天，兔媽媽要出門(mén)了。）
Mother Rabbit:I am going to pick the door ,don"t open the door for strangers （我要去采蘑菇。千萬(wàn)記住，不要給陌生人開(kāi)門(mén)。）
All:OK.
Storyteller:Three rabbits close the a while,they hear some one knocking at door.
Big Wolf:（Learn to sing.學(xué)著唱。）Little Rabbits,open the door.
Mother coming back.
�。ㄐ⊥米庸怨裕验T(mén)開(kāi)開(kāi)，媽媽回來(lái)了。）
Red Eyes and Short Tail:Mother is（媽媽回來(lái)了。）
Long Ears:（Stop them opening the阻止他倆開(kāi)門(mén)。）No.It"s not our mother.That isn"t like Mother"s voice. （不對(duì)。不是媽媽，那不像媽媽的聲音。）
Red Eyes:Let me see.It"s not really（讓我來(lái)看看。果然不是媽媽。）
Big Wolf:（Bang!Bang!Bang!）I"m your mother.Open the door in a hurry.
�。ㄎ沂悄銈兊膵寢專扉_(kāi)門(mén)啊。）
Long Ears:All right.You must show your tail.
�。ê冒伞Ｄ悄惚仨毎涯愕�.尾巴從門(mén)縫里伸進(jìn)來(lái)）
Big Wolf:OK.
Storyteller:The clever rabbits clip the（小兔子把大灰狼的尾巴夾住了。）
Mother Rabbit:You Big Bad Wolf!（你這個(gè)大灰狼�。�
Storyteller:With her words,she hits（說(shuō)著，她撿起棍子狠狠地打大灰狼。）
Big Wolf:Oh.My God!My tail hurts.（噢。我的天�。∥业奈舶褪軅�。）
Storyteller:The wolf"s tail is broken.
mother"s voice,they open the door and hug their mother.
�。ù蠡依堑奈舶捅粖A斷了，他逃走了。小兔子聽(tīng)到媽媽的聲音，打開(kāi)門(mén)，撲進(jìn)媽媽的懷里。）
Mother Rabbit:My clever children.（我的乖孩子們。）
5分鐘英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇劇本 2
旁白：It’s a cold evening. The Titanic has sunken. Rose, Jack and Oscar are on the life boat floating in the ocean. This is Jack. This is Rose and this is Oscar, her husband-to-be.（邊說(shuō)邊介紹，三人坐在課桌上）
Oscar: Oh, honey~ Are you OK? （邊說(shuō)邊將手搭上Rose肩）
Jack: She is my girl.（打開(kāi)Oscar的手）
Oscar: You are so cold.（脫下報(bào)紙披在R身上面向觀眾）what you wear, what you are.
Jack: What are you doing! （扔掉校服，脫下自己的羽絨服抖了抖，面向觀眾）BoSideng（波斯登）, warm and comfortable, it’s my choice.（將羽絨服披在Rose身上）
Rose:（向Jack）I love you.（向觀眾）But I love BoSideng more.
Oscar: Hey! She is my wife-to-be, who are you?
Jack: I am I. Wo de di pan wo zuo zhu（我的地盤(pán)我做主）.
Oscar: People on the Earth all know, She, and I, will go to New York to have our wedding. Rose: But now……
Jack: Don’t say any more! Take your knife out! （從口袋里掏出鉛筆，緊握手中）
Oscar: Ok. Let’s go fighting! （同樣掏出鉛筆緊握手中）
Jack & Oscar: Fighting! （用鉛筆互戳）----小蜜蜂~
Rose: No, no, no! Please stop! （拉二人）( J & O不小心將Rose推下桌子——落水）
Rose: Help, help!（Jack & Oscar將拉上Rose桌子）
Oscar: Honey, how are you?
Rose:（向觀眾）PiaoRou（飄柔）, just so confident~（甩頭發(fā)）
�。≧ose不小心推Oscar，Oscar落水） Oscar: Help, help!
Rose: Oh, no! （向Oscar伸手）（Jack抓過(guò)Rose的手，對(duì)視）
Jack:（唱）你是我的`玫瑰，你是我的花…You are my life, you are my honey~
Rose: But……what about Oscar?
Jack: Don’t pay attention to him.
Rose: OK. Darling~ I love you, loving you, like mouse love rice~
旁白：At this time, Oscar has been far away……Jack and Rose are still floating in the ocean. It’s colder and colder.
Jack: Do you feel cold?
Rose: Yes. You see we are so lonely.
Jack: Don’t worry. I have this! （從口袋里掏出打火機(jī)，并向觀眾展示）This is a magic DaHuoji（打火機(jī)）.（Jack按下打火機(jī)）（Superwoman上，胸前貼一張紙，上書(shū)S）
Superwoman:（向觀眾）Do you know who am I? I am Superwoman! The famous Superman is my brother. I’m willing to help others.
Rose: Would you please help us get awayfromhere?（Superwoman無(wú)視，面向Jack）
Superwoman: Oh, pretty boy~ Come here, I will save you.
Jack: Take my girl together.
Superwoman: No way!（Superwoman下）（Jack第二次按下打火機(jī)）
�。↖ndian Princess上，向觀眾合掌問(wèn)候）
Princess: I am a princessfromIndia.
Rose: Would you please help us get awayfromhere?
Princess: OK. I have a magic blanket, maybe it can take you away. Come on.（從口袋里掏出圍巾）（Jack & Rose 嘗試伸出腳，Princess上下晃動(dòng)圍巾）
Princess: Oh, no, it’s broken! My blanket! （邊說(shuō)邊后退，漸遠(yuǎn)）
（Indian Princess下）（Jack第三次還沒(méi)按，Harry Potter上，提著掃帚）
Harry: Yi? Where am I? （向觀眾）My name is Harry Potter. I’mfromHogwarts（霍格沃茨）. I lose my way.
Rose: Would you please help us get awayfromhere?
Harry: I really want to help you, but my ability is limited.（聳肩）
Jack:（憤怒地）Oh, my god! Go away at once! （指向前方）（Harry Potter下）
旁白：Suddenly, the life boat is shaking because Jack and Rose are too heavy.
Jack: Rose, listen to me. I love you, but I will leave you.The boat can’t support us for
a long time. You must live, so I will jump into the sea.
Rose: No, no, no. Jump or not jump, this is a question.
Jack: Then let the God decide it（二人低頭虔誠(chéng)祈禱狀）
Rose: God will bless us.（Jack和Rose同時(shí)從身后伸出手來(lái)，包剪錘）
Jack & Rose: One two three!（Jack出錘子，Rose出包子）
Jack: I lose. You see, it’s God’s choice.（Rose連連搖頭）
Rose: Oh, no. Jack, Jack, why your name is Jack!
Jack: I wish you a happy life. Good-bye!（Jack跳下桌子，Rose伸手拉，未果）
Rose: You jump, I jump.（Rose跳下桌子，O未死， 繼續(xù)叫救命……）
�。ㄅ园壮猰y heart will go on，音樂(lè)起，全劇終。Jack & Rose跳舞，張開(kāi)手臂經(jīng)典動(dòng)作作結(jié)。）.
5分鐘英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇劇本 3
人物： rabbit（小兔），fox（狐貍），monkey（小猴），tortoise（烏龜），mummy bear（熊媽媽），baby bear（熊寶寶），lion（獅子），bird（小鳥(niǎo)）。
布景：大森林背景，舞臺(tái)右角是一座小房子，一棵木瓜樹(shù)，中間有一棵大樹(shù)，舞臺(tái)左角有一塊大石頭，左角后臺(tái)階上有兩棵桃樹(shù)。
�。ù竽辉谑闱�、優(yōu)美的音樂(lè)聲中徐徐開(kāi)啟）
:In this beautiful forest, There live many lovely animals, they love each other and live a happy life!
在一個(gè)美麗的大森林里，住著許許多多的小動(dòng)物，他們?cè)谝黄鹣嘤H相愛(ài)，生活得可幸福了！
第一景：小動(dòng)物群舞
小兔舞 （音樂(lè)：活潑、輕快、跳躍）
狐貍舞 （扭動(dòng)腰肢，跳節(jié)奏感極強(qiáng)的迪斯科）
烏龜舞 （一伸一縮，音樂(lè)：緩慢、低沉、滑稽）
小猴舞 （調(diào)皮、靈巧，可用西游記主題曲）
（音樂(lè)轉(zhuǎn)為輕柔、舒緩，小兔一人旋轉(zhuǎn)跳舞，音樂(lè)漸弱轉(zhuǎn)為流水聲，舞臺(tái)燈光轉(zhuǎn)暗，布景為湖邊，木瓜樹(shù)下。）
第二景：:"咕咚"（清晰而響亮）
小兔：（吃驚的樣子，四處看看）What’s the matter?
什么東西？
�。ǖ雇藥撞�，拔腿就跑，正好撞上了狐貍。）
狐貍：（奇怪的神情）What’s the matter? Why are you running?
跑什么呀？出了什么事？
小兔：（氣喘噓虛的樣子）："Gu dong, Gu dong is coming."
咕咚，咕咚來(lái)了。
狐貍：（害怕的樣子）：Oh! Horrible, let’s run.
哇！太可怕了，讓我們跑吧！
�。ㄟ@時(shí)候，熊媽媽提著籃子和熊寶寶從樹(shù)后走出來(lái)，正好看到慌慌張張奔跑的小兔和狐貍。）
熊媽媽：（很驚奇的樣子）：What’s the matter? Why are you running?
出了什么事？你們跑什么呀？
小兔、狐貍（合）：Gu dong is coming.
小熊：（害怕并躲在媽媽的懷里）mummy mummy, I’m frightened.
媽媽、媽媽，我害怕！
熊媽媽：（安慰寶寶）Oh! dear, Don’t be frightened, let’s run quickly.
乖寶寶，別害怕，讓我們跑吧！快，快
�。ㄐ『�、小鳥(niǎo)、烏龜在另一角臺(tái)階的桃樹(shù)上看到，感到很奇怪）
小猴：（指著奔跑的`小動(dòng)物）Why? Why are they all running?
為什么，為什么他們都在跑？
烏龜：（很神秘的樣子）Perhaps, A monster!
也許，是妖怪來(lái)了！
小猴、小鳥(niǎo)：（非�？謶值臉幼樱㎡h, horrible, let’s run!
啊呀！太可怕了，快跑呀！
烏龜：（慌慌張張地跟在后面）wait! just wait.
等一等！
�。ù螵{子正在一塊石頭下睡覺(jué)，眾人吵吵鬧鬧的聲音吵醒了它。獅子大吼一聲，伸伸懶腰。）
獅子：（很生氣的樣子） It’s very noise! Why ? why are you all running ?
太吵了，你們?yōu)槭裁炊荚谂苎剑?/p>
眾人合：（上氣不接下氣的樣子）Gu dong, Gu dong is coming.
獅子：（感到很奇怪）Gu dong , What is it ? Where is it?
"咕咚",什么東西？在哪里？
�。ù蠹夷憧粗遥铱粗�，都在搖頭。）
小猴：（問(wèn)熊媽媽）Where?
在哪里？
熊媽媽：（搖搖頭，）I don’t know.（轉(zhuǎn)而問(wèn)狐貍）Where
我不知道。 在哪里？
狐貍：（搖搖頭，）I don’t know.（轉(zhuǎn)而問(wèn)小兔）Where?
我不知道。 在哪里？
�。ū娙税涯抗舛技性谛⊥玫纳砩�。）
小兔：（撓撓腦袋，指著對(duì)面）It’s over there.
就在那邊！
獅子：（很神氣的樣子）Let’s go and see.
走，去看看。
�。ù蠡锘ハ嗫纯矗急憩F(xiàn)出非常害怕的樣子。）
獅子：（拍拍胸脯，很勇敢的樣子）come on, follow me.
走，跟我走！
（音樂(lè)響，一段雄壯有力的進(jìn)行曲，眾人排著整齊的隊(duì)伍，大踏步地往前走，快到樹(shù)下時(shí)，腳步慢下來(lái)。音樂(lè)停，全場(chǎng)一片寂靜。）
獅子：（四處張望）Where? There is nothing here.
在哪里？什么都沒(méi)有啊！
�。ㄕ谶@時(shí)候，一陣風(fēng)吹來(lái)，咕咚一聲，一棵木瓜掉進(jìn)了湖里。）
小猴：（指著湖邊）Oh! It’s a papaya! Gu dong is a papaya!
噢！原來(lái)是木瓜呀！
（眾人大笑，大幕在笑聲中徐徐落下。）
The end.
全劇終
5分鐘英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇劇本 4
甲:Hello,every one, have you ever seen the movie? Yeah, you are right, Im the director-- Cameron Diaz, applaud , thank you....Recently, I will direct a new movie called < Avatar 2 >, today, there will be a audition and I will select three actresses who can get the chance to perform in this film with famous actress---Anne Hathaway,OK, lets begin. At first , talent show, number one, lets welcome.
乙:(風(fēng)情萬(wàn)種,妖嬈嫵媚地走進(jìn)來(lái),給觀眾一個(gè)飛吻):oh,honey,dear,sweet,darling director, the most beautiful charming, sexy girl is coming , every body knows me, right? Yeah, Im Nicole Kidman, open your eyes as big as you can and hold your breath, there will be a unique, fantastic dance show for you, I believe that all of you will be crazy about it ,(打個(gè)響指) come some music.(搞笑舞,自由發(fā)揮). (跳完,鞠躬,向觀眾謝幕), thank you,(面向?qū)а?, honey, is it a wonderful performance?
甲:(作目瞪口呆狀),
乙:(在甲眼前晃手),oh, darling, are you Ok?
甲:eh...my god, have you use some stimulant drugs this morning, you make my nerves nervous. Get out , next one.
乙:oh no ...sweet ,you break my heart...(掩面離去)
丙:oh it seems to be serious. God bless me(畫(huà)個(gè)十字架,鎮(zhèn)定地走到甲面前,伸出手), nice to meet you, director.
甲:(與之握手),nice to meet you too,so, introduce yourself please.
丙:Im Celine Dion, you know, I dont have too many achievements, I just won five Grammy awards, 12 World Music Awards, 7 American Music Awards , 21 Juno Awards and(做沉思狀) oh, I forget it , a Oscar Award, (同學(xué)鼓掌,乙作安撫狀),oh, calm down, calm down,its just a piece of cake for me ,you know, I....
甲:ok ,stop, time is limited, just begin
丙:OK!!! Ill use my first signature song to conquer you --my heart will go on, just enjoy it.
near, far, wherever you are
i believe that the heart does go on
once more, you opened the door(甲stop stop,丙不理,繼續(xù)作深情狀)
and youre here in my heart,
and my heart will go on and on.
甲:guard ,guard,help,drag this mad woman out.
Oh, Im dying,hope the next one will give me a surprise
丁:(對(duì)著乙的背影,沉思狀)to be,or not to be,its a question!(走到甲面前牽起她的手做親吻狀),Im glad to see you,my dear princess.
甲(做嬌羞狀):oh, its really a big surprise,so whats your name?
丁:My name? Oh, wait a minute. Do you know Trish Regan?(甲,白癡的'搖頭),eh..,its ok,then how about Robin Meade?(搖頭),and Melissa Theuriau?(搖頭),(丁,情緒激動(dòng)),you know nothing, how can you sit in here.
甲(指門(mén),氣憤狀),you you you.....
丁:ok ok, it doesnt matter, you neednt learn about them, but you must know me, the most famous hostess who will catch up with those person and become the greatest poet---oprah!
甲:I dont care who you are, just show me your talent.
丁:ok ,listen,one poem,I have had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her “I love you”!
甲(起雞皮疙瘩狀):oh, I cant stand, show you the door,
丁(轉(zhuǎn)身離開(kāi),繼續(xù)臺(tái)詞):If there is a time limit, I hope, it is (回頭,對(duì)甲)10 thousand years.
甲:oh, its really a terrible ,awful, horrible day,why it is such difficult to find an excellent actress.Oh, Im dying,you three, come here,
三人跑進(jìn)來(lái),乙嫵媚狀:honey, you like my dance,right?
丙鎮(zhèn)靜狀:director,you like my singing,right?
丁深情狀:princess,you like my poet,right?
三人同聲:we are past,right?
甲:eh..Thank you for your eh..Wonderful performance,but,Im sorry to tell you ....(接電話) What? Nobody comes here except they three,oh...god.(掛電話,低頭),you three,(抬頭),pass!
三人歡呼,說(shuō):we make it,we are superstar!
乙(甜蜜狀):thats very sweet of you,we love you so much(飛個(gè)吻)
甲:you know, you are not good enough now, but Im look forward to your progress.Do you have confidence?
三人齊答:yes,we do!
甲伸手,三人搭上,同聲,fight,fight,fight!
5分鐘英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇劇本 5
人物：追星A, 追星B，追星C，明星，車主 旁白 經(jīng)紀(jì)人
旁白：A girl is crazy about a star called Handsome+人名. Even when she is asleep, she can dream that man.
A：(打哈欠)，I need to go to bed, I’m so sleepy.(打哈欠)——邊走邊說(shuō) （趴在講臺(tái)上睡）
�。ㄟM(jìn)入夢(mèng)鄉(xiāng)）
旁白：In her dream……
(上臺(tái)擺兩個(gè)凳子，A做一個(gè))
A：Oh, it’s a fine day. (假裝看天) (然后突然不經(jīng)意的拿起一本書(shū)翻看)
明星：(上臺(tái))：Oh, it’s a fine day. (然后坐凳子)
(A看著看著書(shū)，就不經(jīng)意的往旁邊看，然后再看看書(shū)，突然感覺(jué)不對(duì)勁，在意外的往旁邊看，看到了自己最喜愛(ài)的那個(gè)明星，十分激動(dòng)，不敢相信這是真的)
A：Are you … are you that … super star?(激動(dòng)地說(shuō)不出話)
明星：（隨意的回答） Yes, what’s wrong?
A: I’m your fan,super fan. Your photos are full of my bedroom, no, they are full of my house, including kitchen, living room, bedrooms, and… and toilet.
(激動(dòng)，后面講到廁所時(shí)，還有點(diǎn)不好意思)
(當(dāng)明星聽(tīng)到廁所時(shí)，很驚訝)
明星：You are too…enthusiastic [in,θju:zi?stik]. (有點(diǎn)嫌棄)
A: Can you give me your signature?
(講到簽名，明星就興奮了)
明星：Ok ,of course!
A：（大聲喊）Oh ,I will have the Handsome______’s signature
(突然，兩個(gè)人跑過(guò)來(lái)，B把A給推開(kāi)了然后兩人問(wèn)明星要簽名)
B：Please ,please give me signature!!!!!!!
C: No, give it to me, to me!!!
(兩人搶著，A一人孤零零的站在旁邊，)
A: Why the result is this ?(抱頭痛哭，邊走邊哭，然后走到睡覺(jué)的`那個(gè)地方，恢復(fù)原來(lái)的樣子，還有點(diǎn)啜泣)
A： Er? Where is it? Oh,it’s just a dream , but ,it’s a bad dream.
It’s too early, I want sleep.(又趴下去)
旁白：In her second dream, the scene is at the crossroads.
A: Look at the tall buildings, they like the …like the …I don’t have any adjrectives to describe them.
(明星上場(chǎng)，走在對(duì)面，也在欣賞某些東西)
A：Oh ,look at there, that man is like a star ! Oh ,Oh ,Oh ,(一次比一次激動(dòng))he is …..he is…..Handsome_______！I want his signature! But there is too much cars, What can I do? What can I do? I don’t care this any more, the signature is more important!
(正當(dāng)他準(zhǔn)備過(guò)馬路時(shí)，車主做開(kāi)車動(dòng)作來(lái)了，將要撞A，A很害怕)
車主：Look out!
Aon’t come here, don’t come here!(閉著眼睛) (車主迅速下臺(tái))
�。ˋ突然站起來(lái)，睜開(kāi)眼睛）
A：A dream .too? Oh, my god, Why do I always can’t get the signature? No, I must get it, sleep again! Yes ,sleep! But ,why do I stand here? I should lie in the bed. Whether these, I must go to bed and get the signature!(趴著又睡)
旁白：In her third dream
(明星在簽名，A前面有B, C)
經(jīng)紀(jì)人：One by one,Don’t be wrought-up
A: Yeah,I can get it at last. Before me ,there are only two people.
�。ǖ紹）
B:I love you very much. My dreamlover.
明星：Thank you
(B下，C上)
C: Oh，I meet you ,can I hug with you ?
明星：Sure.
(兩人抱了一下)
�。ǖ紸）
A: I can get your signature in the end! I’m so excited
(明星面目有點(diǎn)難受的樣子，手捂著肚子)
明星：Sorry, can I go to the toilet for a moment? My stomach is hurt a lot.(難受)
A: Yes, make yourselfe at home.
(過(guò)來(lái)一會(huì)兒)
A: Handsome_______ has gone to toilet for such a long time. Is he ok?
經(jīng)紀(jì)人對(duì)A說(shuō)：Sorry, the girl, Handsome_____ perhaps can’tcome here to give you signature, He is too hurt. He went home.
A: Ah? Why always me ? (傷心地離開(kāi)，走到睡著的地方)
�。ㄍ蝗黄鹕恚�
A :Why always me ? I only want a signature~~ ai~~ What time is it now ? (看了一下鐘，表情驚訝) It’s near 8 o’clock .I can’t arrive at the school on time! Oh no ,hurry up hurry up!
5分鐘英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇劇本 6
人物：T唐僧S：孫悟空 E：豬八戒
J：沙僧
B：白骨精（何平） B1：B變成的村姑 B2：B變成的太婆B3：B變化成的`老頭
T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie,map!
E: (摸出，遞給S)
S: Look,boss (湊近T)………（T、S一起轉(zhuǎn)向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!
E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (縮手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
E: (遞)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….
S: You will what(兇相)?
E: (軟禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
S: Hm!
T:（輕咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see , boss is hungry,too!
T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..
T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安裝)（B已躲在一旁偷看）
J: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人開(kāi)始打牌)音樂(lè)《斗地主》
B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(變成B1)
B1: (接近三人，望著)Can I join you?
J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.
B1: (在一旁觀看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(準(zhǔn)備開(kāi)電網(wǎng)門(mén))
S: (回來(lái)，看見(jiàn)B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
B1: （倒)Ah……
T: (氣憤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主題曲，走音離譜)
S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱頭)
T: (嗆住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身出現(xiàn))Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(變成太婆)
B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?
T: Daughter?...(連忙擋住地尸體)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T擋)
S: （咬牙切齒）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T頭，T暈，S再打死B2)
E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)
J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
T:Two…..(暈乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(變成B3)
B3: (看到B1,B2尸體)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(險(xiǎn)些暈，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!
S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
S: (悲，離去)（音樂(lè)，營(yíng)造 “假”悲傷氣氛）《人鬼情未了》
J: boss, brother Monkey is.......
T: Dont mention that guy any more!
B: (出現(xiàn)) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸體B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飄”走)
T: （驚）You are......
B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被擊退)
B: (抓住T)Ill enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......
S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B暈)A thousand years later.
T: Wukong?
E: Oh,Brother Monkey!
J: Our hero is back!
T: I,I cant understand......What happened?
S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
T: How,how did you find out?
S: (沉默).......Monkeys intuition(直覺(jué))
T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)Im sorry(小聲)
S: What?
T: Im sorry.
S: Em? Louder,please?
T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音樂(lè)響）《敢問(wèn)路在何方》（這個(gè)放伴奏）
(謝幕)
5分鐘英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇劇本 7
第一幕 開(kāi)場(chǎng)白
旁白：Long long ago there lived a beautiful princess, and there is a big family. But the hostess died. Her son is handsome and goodness. Her husband married another wife. The stepmother is very cruel to the son. One day their King will hold a ball and choose a prince for his daughter.
B: Girls in the other side look at me, look at me, look at me …I am David, handsome and cool. I try my best to loose my weight for this ball. This is my photo three days ago.
C: I am rich and humor. Look at my snow-white teeth, because I use the famous toothpaste---Peer.
A: Oh, Can I go to the ball?
B and C: No!
B: Look at yourself. The clothes are so bad and dirty.
C: Yes, yes.
B: Your hair …（用手撥幾下）
C: What a mass!
B: Your face
C: Black and dirty, you seemed like a frog.（B拿出青蛙的照片）
B: How can you go to meet the beautiful princess?
Stepmother: OK, children, let’s go!
C: Mum, what about him?
Stepmother: You, just stay at home to do some housework.
A: But, Mum, I want to go there.
Stepmother: Oh, OK.
B and C: Mum, why do you take him? Don’t you think he will loose our face?
Finally, they go without A.
第二幕 仙女下凡
A: Why Why Why I can’t go to join that ball.
旁白： At this time a beautiful fairy appear.
Fairy: Ahh, my poor child! What things make you so sad?
A: The beautiful princess will held a ball, but my stepmother and my brothers don’t let me go there.
Fairy: My good boy, let me help you. (拿出一套禮服)
A:（喜出望外，準(zhǔn)備去參加舞會(huì)。）
Fairy: Wait for a moment. Don’t forget your shoes.（拿出一雙耐克鞋）
A: Thank you, my respectful fairy.
第三幕 一見(jiàn)鐘情
旁白：A is wearing beautiful clothes going to the palace as quickly as possible, but his brother and stepmother have already arrived.
門(mén)衛(wèi)：The next, the Trade’s first son.
B: Oh, beautiful princess. I have greatly admired you for a long time, and you are like a Pizza in my heart.
Princess: Please wait for a moment, what talent and skill you have?
B: I’ll sing a song for you. (Singing) Only you
Princess: Pass.
門(mén)衛(wèi)：The next. The Trade’s second son.
C: La la I am a
Princess: Pass.
旁白：At that time A was appearing on the front door of the palace. All the people were shocked by his handsome and demeanor.
A: Beautiful princess. Can I sing a song for you?
Princess: Sure, please.
A: （扶著公主從寶座上走下，兩人目光對(duì)視，走成一個(gè)圈，開(kāi)始唱歌）。
旁白：All the people seem to disappear. Only A is left in the princess’s eyes. And so is the princess. Dang dang dang the clock strikes 12. A is waken from the happiness.
A: Princess, I must go now. I am very sorry.
Princess: Wait
旁白：In a hurry A dropped one of his shoes. But the princess was following him.
A: (A look at princess and that shoe he has to go into the forest.)
第四幕 丟失的鞋
旁白：The next morning, the guard brings the shoe to the princess.
侍衛(wèi)：My princess, this is the shoe left by Yang Master yesterday.
Princess: That’s great! God save me! Go and declare: Whoever can wear this shoe will be my prince.
第五幕 結(jié)局
旁白：The guars declared this thing in the whole city and it caused a big sensation. The two prince of the Trade are more excited.
B: Oh, it’s so beautiful. I’m sure I can wear this shoe.
C: Do you think it is possible? Only I can wear that shoe.
Stepmother: Stop talking, my dear sons. Go to get ready for it quickly. The guards will come in no time.
旁白：A was sweeping floor more and more slowly. The guards came in.
侍衛(wèi)：This is the shoe. Come and try it.
旁白：At this moment B caught it quickly, tried it and murmured.
B: why can’t I put it on?
Stepmother: My dear, let me help you.
旁白：The mother pulled B to the corner cutting his toe. Then B put the shoe very hardly.
B: My princess, let’s go.（一瘸一拐）
Princess: No, you are not my prince. Take off the shoe.
C: Let me try. Let me try. (murmuring)I cannot wear it either.
旁白：The mother pulled C to the corner again, and cut his heel.
C: My princess, let’s go.
Princess: No, you are not my prince, either. （一瘸一拐）
侍衛(wèi)：Who else doesn’t try to put on the shoe here?
A: (In a low voice) Let me have a try.(A put the shoe without any difficulty. It just fit him. And A took off his dirty clothes again.)
Princess: Wow, you are my prince.
Princess and Prince got married. Then they live together and they are very happy.
5分鐘英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇劇本 8
音樂(lè)：apple（小熊表演）
Bears: Today is our birthday. We are so happy!
Rs: Knock, knock, knock. （敲門(mén)聲起）
Bears: Who’s that?
Rabbit1: I am xx.
R2: I am xx.
Rs: We are rabbits.
Bs: Come in ,please.（開(kāi)門(mén)，請(qǐng)進(jìn)）
Rs: Happy birthday!（送花）
Bs: Thank you. Please take a seat.（做手勢(shì)，請(qǐng)坐）
小熊把花插好
Ds: Knock, knock, knock. （敲門(mén)聲起）
Bs: who’s that?
D1: I am xx.
D2: I am xx.
D3: I am xx.
Ds: We are dogs.
Bs: Come in ,please.
Ds: Happy birthday!
Bs: Thank you. Please take a seat.
小熊把花插好
Cs: Knock, knock, knock. （敲門(mén)聲起）
Bs: who’s that?
C1: I am xx.
C2: I am xx.
C3: I am xx.
Cs: We are cats.
Bs: Come in ,please.
Cs: Happy birthday!
Bs: Thank you. Please take a seat.
小熊把花插好， 拿水果招待客人
Bs: Which friut do you like ?
Rs: It is red. It is raund.
Bs: Oh! It’s apple. Here you are.
Rs: Thank you.（做吃狀）
Ds: It’s yellow .It’s long.
Bs: Oh! It’s banana. Here you are.
Ds: Thank you.
Cats: It’s oraner .It’s raund.
Bs: Oh! It’s oranger. Here you are.
Cs: Thank you.
小熊面向觀眾道白
Bs: Today is our birthday. We are so happy.
轉(zhuǎn)身招呼小動(dòng)物們
Bs: Let’s singing , let’s dancing.
As: Ok!
歌曲：Hello!
<結(jié)束>
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