初中英語笑話故事

時間：2020-10-14 13:18:44 英語笑話我要投稿

初中英語笑話故事大全

　　笑一笑，十年少，小編為大家整理了初中英語笑話故事大全,希望大家能展顏一笑,記得每天都要開心一刻哦!嘻嘻!

初中英語笑話故事大全

　　初中英語笑話故事篇一：

　　Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!

　　拉登,一加拿大人還有布什總統(tǒng)走在大街上看到一盞金色的燈.他們擦了擦燈出現(xiàn)了一個精靈.精靈說:"我要滿足你們每人一個愿望總共三個."加拿大人說:"我是個父親我兒子將成為農(nóng)夫,因此我想讓加拿大的土地永遠(yuǎn)肥沃."精靈說了咒語愿望實(shí)現(xiàn)了.拉登看了很驚奇,他希望有座城墻圍繞阿富汗.精靈又說了咒語愿望又實(shí)現(xiàn)了.布什總統(tǒng)問:"精靈請告訴我關(guān)于這座墻的事情."精靈回答:"墻厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何東西出不來外面的任何東西進(jìn)不去."布什總統(tǒng)說:"哇!那是座大橋耶...注滿水!!!"

　　初中英語笑話故事篇二：Don't You Like Any of Our Colours Today?

　　Mrs. Green was eighty，but she had a small car，and she always drove to the shops in it on Saturday and bought her food.

　　She did not drive fast，because she was old，but she drove well and never hit anything. Sometimes her grandchildren said to her，“Please don't drive your car，grandmother. We can take you to the shops.”

　　But she always said，“No，I like driving. I've driven for fifty years，and I'm not going to stop now.”

　　Last Saturday she stopped her car at some traffic-lights because they were red，and then it did not start again. The lights were green，then yellow，then red，

　　then green again，but her car did not start.

　　“What am I going to do now?” She said.

　　But then a policeman came and said to her kindly，“Good morning. Don't you like any of our colours today?”

　　格林太太八十歲了。她有一輛小型轎車，每逢星期六她總是開著這輛車去購買食品。

　　因?yàn)槟昙o(jì)大了，格林太太車子開得不快，不過她開車技術(shù)很高，從來沒有出過事。有時她的孫子孫女們對她說：“奶奶，您別開車了，我們可以送您去商店。”

　　但她總是說：“不，我喜歡開車。我已經(jīng)開了五十年了，現(xiàn)在還不想撒手。”

　　上星期六，她看見交通燈是紅色就剎住了車。后來車子熄火了。交通燈由綠色轉(zhuǎn)為黃色，然后轉(zhuǎn)為紅色，又轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)榫G色，可她的車子還是發(fā)動不起來。

　　“現(xiàn)在我該怎么辦呢?”她說。

　　這時一位警察走過來，和氣地對她說：“早上好，今天交通燈的顏色沒有一樣您喜歡嗎?”

　　初中英語笑話故事篇三：

　　A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hourago, but I don't know where I am."

　　The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

　　"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

　　"I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"

　　"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

　　The woman below responded, "You must be in management."

　　"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

　　"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"

　　一個男人在熱氣球上，發(fā)現(xiàn)自己迷失了方向。他下降高度，下方有一個婦女。他又下降了一點(diǎn)，大聲呼喊,"打擾下，你能幫個忙嗎，一個小時以前我答應(yīng)了一個朋友要和他見面，但現(xiàn)在我不知道我身處何地。”

　　婦女在下面回答，“你在一個熱氣球里，大約離地面三十英尺。你在北緯40-41度之間，西經(jīng)59-60度之間。”

　　“你必定是個工程設(shè)計(jì)師，”氣球上的男人說。

　　“我是，”女人回答。“你是怎么知道的?”

　　“是這樣，”氣球上的男人說“你告訴我的事在技術(shù)上都是正確的，但是我無法理解你的看法，事實(shí)是我依舊迷失。坦白說，到目前為止你沒幫上我多少。”

　　下面的婦女回應(yīng)道，“你一定是在管理部門工作。”

　　“我是，”氣球上的`男人回答，“這你是怎么知道的?”

　　“是啊，”婦女說，“你總是不知道你在哪里，也不知道你要去哪里。你的上升，是由于大量的熱氣。你對別人許下的承諾，你不知道如何履行，而且你還期望在你下面的人會解決你的問題。事實(shí)就是在我們見面之前，我們都在完全相同的立場上，可現(xiàn)在，不知怎么地，卻成了我的錯了。”

　　初中英語笑話故事篇四：Meet My Mistress

　　A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.

　　His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"

　　"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

　　"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."

　　"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

　　Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

　　"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.

　　"That's his mistress," says her husband.

　　"Ours is prettier," she replies.

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