好笑的英語笑話故事

　　你知道學(xué)些笑話的好處么?當(dāng)?shù)谝淮我娒娴?時(shí)候，總是有不知道該說什么的尷尬，這時(shí)候你就需要一些笑話，來緩解一下氣氛呢，這里小編為你收集整理了好笑的英語笑話故事，希望能對(duì)你有所幫助哈!

　　好笑的英語笑話故事一：The Foreman's Position 陪審團(tuán)主席

　　A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant1, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess2 and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.

　　The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited.

　　After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?"

　　The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"

　　在一個(gè)小城市，一位法官正在審理一起酒后駕車案件。被告不僅有過酒后駕車的記錄，而且聲譽(yù)也不是太好，現(xiàn)在只是缺少一個(gè)陪審團(tuán)作出裁決。因?yàn)橐呀?jīng)接近下午四點(diǎn)，找個(gè)陪審團(tuán)來會(huì)耽誤很多時(shí)間。因此，法官宣布休庭后，就到外面隨便挑選了一些人來充當(dāng)陪審團(tuán)。剛一出門，他就發(fā)現(xiàn)大 廳剛好有12個(gè)律師，便請(qǐng)求他們充當(dāng)陪審團(tuán)。

　　聽了法官的話，這些律師們認(rèn)為這將會(huì)是一次新奇的經(jīng)歷，因此，便跟隨法官回到了法庭。不到10分鐘，案子就已接近尾聲，因?yàn)楸桓婷黠@是有罪的。陪審團(tuán)回到陪審室進(jìn)行商議，法官就等著宣布結(jié)果，馬上回家。每個(gè)人都在等待著最后的判決。

　　大概過了3個(gè)小時(shí)，法官已經(jīng)徹底失去了耐心，便派法警去看看判決為什么耽誤了這么久。當(dāng)法警回來后，法官問他：“怎么樣?他們是否作出了最后的判決?”

　　法警搖搖頭說：“判決?天啊，他們?yōu)榱送七x陪審團(tuán)主席，還在進(jìn)行演講呢!”

　　好笑的英語笑話故事二：The Lawyer's Death Certificate

　　A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner.

　　The attorney asks, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?"

　　The coroner says, "No."

　　The attorney then asks, "Did you listen for a heart beat?"

　　"No."

　　"So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"

　　The coroner, now tired of the brow beating says, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."

　　好笑的英語笑話故事三：sleep in the barn

　　A police chief, a fire chief, and a city manager were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city. Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse. The farmer welcomed them in, but cautioned them that there were only two spare beds, and that one of them would have to sleep in the barn with the farm animals. After a short conference, the police chief agreed to take the barn. Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the door of the farmhouse. The party inside answered to find the police chief standing there, complaining that he could not sleep.

　　There were pigs in the barn, he said, and he was reminded of the days when everyone called him a pig. The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the police chief. A short time later, another knock was heard at the door. The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn reminded him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the Chicago fire, and that every time he started to go to sleep, he started to have a fireman's worst nightmare, that of burning to death. The city attorney, in desperation for sleep, then agreed to sleep in the barn. This seemed like a good idea until a few minutes later, when another knock was heard at the door. When the occupants answered the door, there stood the very indignant cows and pigs.

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