開心英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子
笑一笑十年少，有時候正兒八經(jīng)的說笑話卻覺得不好笑，可是一個很冷的笑話卻能讓自己笑良久，你有這樣的經(jīng)歷么?現(xiàn)在，一起來開心爆笑下吧!
開心英語笑話大全笑破你的`肚子【1】
Who is stupid? 誰是傻瓜?
One day a college professor of Psychology1 was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"
After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
"Well, good morning. So, you actually think you're a moron2(傻瓜)?" the professor asked.
The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing3 there all by yourself."
一天，一位大學(xué)心理學(xué)教授向他的新生們問候。他站在學(xué)生們的面前說：“如果哪位同學(xué)認(rèn)為自己傻，就請站起來。”
大約過了一分鐘，一位年輕人站了起來。
教授說：“嗨，你好。你真的認(rèn)為自己是個低能兒么?”
這個孩子回答道：“不是的，先生，我只是不忍心看著只有你自己站在這里。”
開心英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子【2】
Sometimes It's Hard to Know When to Stop
An old man went to the doctor and began to pour1 out his problems. As the doctor asked more about what was the matter with him, the old man said, "Well Doc, after I get to the first, I'm very, very tired. After the second, I feel all in(疲乏到極點(diǎn)). After the third, my heart begins to pound. After the fourth, I break out in a cold sweat2. And after the fifth, I'm soexhausted3, I feel like I'm going to die, right then and there(當(dāng)場)!"
"That's incredible," said the doctor, "but how old are you?"
"Eighty-five," the patient said. And the doctor said, "Well, at 85, why don't you stop at the first?"
The man said, "I can't stop: I live on the fifth floor!"
一個老人去看醫(yī)生，滔滔地講述他的問題。醫(yī)生進(jìn)一步詢問他的癥狀，他說：“醫(yī)生啊!我上第一層之后，感到非常累!上了第二層，覺得快不行了!到第三層，心跳加劇!到第四層，大冒冷汗!到第五層，筋疲力盡， 感覺當(dāng)場就要死了!”
“真不可思議啊!”醫(yī)生說：“你今年幾歲呢?”
“八十五”，病人說。醫(yī)生說：“噢，八十五歲了!為什么你不一開始就停下來?”
老人回答：“我不能停下來，我住在第五層樓啊!”
開心英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子【3】
Fill it with water!
Osama Bin1 Laden2, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie3(妖怪，鬼) came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that's 3 together."
The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true.
President Bush said, "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said, "It's 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said, "Wow! That's a big bridge. Fill it with water!"
拉登，一個加拿大人還有布什總統(tǒng)走在大街上看到一盞金色的燈。他們擦了擦燈出現(xiàn)了一個精靈，精靈說：“我要滿足你們每人一個愿望總共三個。”
加拿大人說：“我是個父親我兒子將成為農(nóng)夫，因此我想讓加拿大的土地永遠(yuǎn)肥沃。”精靈說了咒語愿望實(shí)現(xiàn)了。拉登看了很驚奇，他希望有座城墻圍繞阿富汗。精靈又說了咒語愿望又實(shí)現(xiàn)了。
布什總統(tǒng)問：“精靈請告訴我關(guān)于這座墻的事情。”精靈回答：“墻厚50英尺，高500英尺，因而里面的任何東西出不來外面的任何東西進(jìn)不去。”布什總統(tǒng)說：“哇，那是座大橋耶。注滿水!”
開心英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子【4】
Two Tickets Please
A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller1, "Two tickets, please. "
When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold out, the disappointed young man said, "Then do you have any sur-tickets that can allow us to stand together?"
一個小伙子愛上了一位姑娘。周末，他請她看電影。來到售票處，小伙子對售票員說：“請給兩張票。”
售票員告訴他所有的票都賣完了。失望的年輕人說：“那么，您有兩張可以讓我們站在一起的附加票嗎?”
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