英語搞笑笑話

　　有笑話，大家一起笑，這就是分享快樂，也許，快樂就是這么簡単。下面YJBYS小編為你帶來英語搞笑笑話，希望你會喜歡。

　　英語搞笑笑話一則

　　Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

　　Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".

　　老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學(xué)遲到?

　　湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標(biāo)上面寫著："學(xué)校----慢行。"

　　Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?

　　Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.

　　媽媽：你為什么不停地跳上跳下的?

　　湯姆：我剛吃完藥，可我忘了先搖瓶子了

　　英語搞笑笑話三則

　　Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?

　　Jack: Certainly.

　　Tom: And why?

　　Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.

　　湯姆：威廉向我借五英鎊。我該不該借給他?

　　杰克：當(dāng)然應(yīng)該了。

　　湯姆：為什么?

　　杰克：否則他就該跟我借了。

　　英語搞笑笑話四則：它們是從美國直接帶來的

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

　　At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　　一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。

　　這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”

　　英語搞笑笑話五則：He is really somebody他真是一個大人物

　　My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　　He is really somebody. What does he do?

　　A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　　我叔叔下面有1000個人。

　　他真是一個大人物。干什么的?

　　英語搞笑笑話六則：墓地守墓人。

　　Boss's idea

　　When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.

　　Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself.

　　Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

　　"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first."

　　由于我的打印機不能打印出清晰的字來，我就打電話給維修部。電話是一位非常和藹的男人接的，他說我的打印機也許只是需要清理一下。

　　他還說，如果讓維修部清理的話要交50英鎊的清理費，讓我最好看看使用手冊自己試著清理。

　　當(dāng)時我真的被他的話感動了，就問他：“你們老板知道你這樣拒絕生意么?”

　　“事實上，這就是我們老板的主意，”雇員答道：“因為如果我

　　英語搞笑笑話其責(zé)：誰欠誰錢

　　A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.

　　律師的狗，沒有拴而到處閑逛，它來到一家肉店，偷走了一塊 烤肉。店主來到律師的辦公室，問道“如果一條沒栓的狗從我的商店里偷了塊肉，我有權(quán)利從狗的主人那里要回?fù)p失嗎?律師答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗沒栓而且今天從我的店里頭了塊肉”，律師什么都沒說，馬上給他寫了一張支票。一些天后，店主打開郵箱，發(fā)現(xiàn)一封來自律師的信，信上寫 道：咨詢費250美元。

　　英語搞笑笑話八則：婚禮上有長官在

　　A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain.""Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back.""But ,officer, I ….""I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."

　　大街上的一個超速駕駛者被警察攔住了。“但是警官”這個人說道，“我可以解釋的”。“保持安靜”，警察突然說道。“我將把你送往監(jiān)獄，直到長官回來。“但是，警察，我……”。“我說過了保持安靜，你要到監(jiān)獄了。”幾小時后，警察向監(jiān)獄里看了看說道“算你運氣好，因為我們的長官正在他女兒的婚禮上。他將帶著一個愉快的心情回來的。”“你確定”在牢房里的這個人說道。“我就是新郎呀”。

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