爆笑英語(yǔ)幽默笑話

　　導(dǎo)語(yǔ)：會(huì)講笑話的人都是有好人緣的人，所以我們要多親近一些笑話大王們�，F(xiàn)在小編也來(lái)當(dāng)笑話大王啦!YJBYS小編給大家收集整理了爆笑英語(yǔ)幽默笑話，一起來(lái)笑笑，收集好人緣吧!

　　1 One day, the teacher inquired Peter: How much is four minus four?Peter was tongue-tied.

　　The teacher got angry and said: What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket?

　　The hole.replied Peter.

　　一天，老師問(wèn)彼得：4減4等于幾?彼得張口結(jié)舌答不上來(lái)。

　　老師生氣地說(shuō)：真笨!比如我給你衣袋里裝進(jìn)4個(gè)硬幣，可你衣袋上有個(gè)窟窿，硬幣全從這里漏掉了，那么，你衣袋里還剩下什么?

　　還剩下個(gè)窟窿。彼得答道。

　　2 Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

　　在期末考試之前，湯姆告訴他的`母親：“媽媽，我昨天晚上做了一個(gè)夢(mèng)，夢(mèng)見(jiàn)我通過(guò)了今天的考試。”“不要相信夢(mèng)，親愛(ài)的。據(jù)說(shuō)夢(mèng)中的經(jīng)歷通常與現(xiàn)實(shí)相反。”媽媽答道。“那么，我真希望在今晚的夢(mèng)中，我的其他功課都不及格。”湯姆說(shuō)。

　　3 An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff?'

　　'Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.'

　　The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.'

　　'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.'

　　'It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five.'

　　一位耳聾并且總是嫌?xùn)|西太貴的老太太走進(jìn)一家商店。 她問(wèn)店員：“這東西要多少錢(qián)?”

　　“七美元，太太，這是很便宜的。”

　　老太太說(shuō)：“太貴了，十四美元差不多。”

　　店員忙說(shuō)：“我沒(méi)說(shuō)十七美元，是七美元。”

　　“還是太貴，”老太太說(shuō)：“五美元，我就買(mǎi)啦。”

　　4 A tiger caught a deer and wanted to eat it,the deer said : " You can't eat me."

　　The tiger was puzzled and then asked : " Why ?"

　　" Because I'm a National second-class protection animal."

　　The tiger laughed : " But we can't let the National first class protection animal die to hangry for the sake of the second-class protection animal."

　　老虎抓到一頭鹿，要把它吃掉，鹿說(shuō)：“你不能吃我。”

　　老虎一愣：“為什么?”

　　“因?yàn)槲沂菄?guó)家二級(jí)保護(hù)動(dòng)物。”

　　老虎笑了：“總不能為了二級(jí)保護(hù)動(dòng)物而讓一級(jí)保護(hù)動(dòng)物餓死吧!”

　　5 Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.

　　The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"

　　The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!"

　　Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."

　　三只老鼠坐在酒吧吹牛,談?wù)撍麄兊挠職夂湍苣汀?/p>

　　第一個(gè)說(shuō):"我非常歷害,曾吃過(guò)一整袋老鼠藥!”

　　第二個(gè)說(shuō):“我也非常歷害,一旦我被捕鼠器捕到,我咬斷了它!”

　　然后第三只老鼠起身說(shuō):“伙計(jì),我呆會(huì)兒離開(kāi)家去騷擾貓。”

　　6 There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.

　　The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."

　　The other cow replies, "I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."

　　有兩頭奶牛隔著牛攔正在交談!

　　第一頭奶牛說(shuō)："我告訴你，瘋牛病真是很?chē)樔�，他們說(shuō)它正在迅速蔓延,我聽(tīng)說(shuō)一些牛正在放在約翰遜農(nóng)場(chǎng)”。

　　另一頭奶牛說(shuō)："我不擔(dān)心，他不會(huì)影晌我們鴨子"

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