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機智幽默的英語笑話
導(dǎo)語：經(jīng)常講一些笑話，不僅能給自己帶來快樂，還能感染他人，這里小編收集整理了機智幽默的英語笑話，一起來看看吧!
1 One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm1) a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor2) in his voice，“Mommy，will you sleep with me tonight ?”The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring3) hug. “I can' t，dear.” She said.“I have to sleep in Daddy's room.”Along silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice：“The big sissy4).”
一個夏季的晚上，雷雨大作，母親讓小男孩上床鉆進(jìn)被窩。她正準(zhǔn)備熄燈，孩子聲音顫抖地問：“媽咪，你今晚可以陪我睡嗎?”母親笑著，擁抱一下小孩安慰說，“親愛的，不可以。我得睡在爸爸的房間。”一陣長長的沉默之后，男孩小聲地用顫音說：“大膽小鬼。”
2 Two twins went to the kindergarten.“Who's the elder and who's the younger one?” asked a nurse.
兩個雙胞胎走進(jìn)幼兒園。“你們兩個誰大誰小?”保育員問。
One of them winked and said，“Elder brother，don't tell her.”
其中的一個眨了眨眼睛說，“哥哥，不要告訴她。”
3 One day after school the teacher said to his students，“Tomorrow morning，if any one of you can answer my first question.I'll permit him or her to go home earlier.” The next day，when the teacher came into the classroom，he found the blackboard daubed.He was very angry and asked，“Who did it?Please stand up! ” “It' s me，”said Bob，“Now，I can go home，Good-bye，Sir! ”
一天，放學(xué)以后，老師對他的學(xué)生們說：“明天上午，如果你們當(dāng)中的任何一個同學(xué)能回答我的第一個問題，我就準(zhǔn)許他或她最先回家。”第二天，老師走進(jìn)教室時發(fā)現(xiàn)黑板已被亂涂，他非常生氣地問：“誰涂的? 請站起來。”鮑勃說：“先生，是我，現(xiàn)在我可以回家了，再見。”
4 Teacher：“I have two questions，it isn't necessary to answer the second question if you know the result of the first question.How much hair do you have?”
老師：“我有兩個題目，你若能答出第一題就不需答第二題。你有多少根頭發(fā)?”
Student ：“A hundred and twenty millions.”
學(xué)生：“1.2億根。”
Teacher：“How do you know it?”
老師：“你怎么知道?”
Student：“It is not necessary to answer the second question.”
學(xué)生：“第二題不需回答。”
5 Mother：“Susie，every time you misbehave，I get another gray hair.”
母親：“蘇茜，每次你表現(xiàn)不好，我就多長一根白頭發(fā)。”
Susie：“Gosh，mom，you must have been a terror.Just look at Grandma.”
蘇茜：“天哪，媽，那你肯定一直都表現(xiàn)很糟�？纯赐馄虐�。”
6 Father：“Uh，oh，I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.”
父親：“哎呀，我剛才違規(guī)右轉(zhuǎn)彎了。”
Susie：“That' s okay，Dad，the policeman behind you just did the same thing.”
蘇茜：“沒事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也這么轉(zhuǎn)了。”
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