令人捧腹的英語爆笑笑話

　　導(dǎo)語：愛笑的人，運氣總不會太差，因為笑可以讓人充滿正能量，更能讓自己面對挫折，勇往直前，這里YJBYS小編收集整理了令人捧腹的英語爆笑笑話，讓你爆笑每一天。

　　1、 話說有一名英文不太好的男子，竟然泡上一名洋妞。

　　一天，情到濃時，該男子用不太好的英文對洋妞女友說:『I Love You!』

　　洋女聽見大喜，說:『I Love You，too;

　　那名男子不明所以，竟說:『I Love You，three.....!

　　2、 "高中的時候

　　很多學(xué)校都有各種各樣的模擬考

　　有一個人

　　他的英語很爛很爛

　　一次英文模擬考

　　作文題目是“A Dog”

　　結(jié)果那個人就這樣寫——

　　One day I see a dog.

　　I said""Hi!""

　　Dog said""Hi!""

　　I said""Can you speak Chinese?""

　　Dog said""Yes!""

　　I said""So,let""s speak Chinese!""

　　Dog said""O.K.""

　　......"

　　3、 "有一天,一個印地安小孩問他爸爸說:""dad,我的名字怎么來的?""父親

　　回答說:""我們族人命名都是以小孩子剛出生時,父親看到的第一見事物來命名的""像你哥哥,他剛出生時,我一出門就見到了青山,所以他叫Blue-mountain像你姊姊,她剛出生時,我一出門就見到鳥在飛,所以他叫Bird-flying.這就是我們族人命名的方式.

　　父親頓了一下,然後回過頭說:""對了,Dog-fucking,你剛剛問我什么問題?"""

　　4、 "One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.

　　有個女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪………

　　Girl: Father, I have sinned.

　　女孩：神父，我有罪。

　　Preacher: What did you do, little girl?

　　神父：孩子，你犯了什麼罪呢?

　　Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a ""son of a Bitch.""

　　女孩：昨天，我罵了某個男人一句：「你這個狗娘養(yǎng)的9

　　......"

　　5、 "有一個男的十分愛他的女朋友 于是就把他女朋友的名字""WENDY"" 刻在他的""那話兒""上,于是當(dāng)""那話 兒""縮小時只看到縮寫""WY"",有一次他和他的女朋友到夏威 夷去玩,他在上廁所時看到隔壁那 個外國人的""那話兒""也有""WY""字 樣,于是很興奮的問那個外國人: ""你的女朋有也叫""WENDY""嗎? 外國人回答說:""NO,NO,我刻的是: ""WELCOME TO HAWAI AND ENJOY YOUR HOLODAY"""

　　6、 There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch(西瓜地)at night and eat his watermelons.

　　After some careful thought he comes up with a clever idea that he thinks will scare the kids away for sure. So he makes up a sign and posts it in the field.

　　......

　　7、 "Can you explain to me what the difference is between a high-pitched and low-pitched voice?

　　""A high-pitched voice is when my father scolds me;a low-pitched voice is when my father speaks with his boss."""

　　8、 A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite.

　　......

　　9、 "A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.

　　She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

　　......"

　　10、 "A man enters a restaurant, takes a seat, and, instead of using the napkin, takes the table cloth from the table and tucks it around his neck.

　　The head waiter sees it and tells the waiter to go and tell him, in a diplomatic way, that what he did was incorrect.

　　......"

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