長篇英語笑話大全帶翻譯笑破你的肚子
我稱贊我的一個同事減肥10磅?墒,我禁不住夸耀說我17歲時,體重225磅,而目前體重是224磅。我還說:“這對我這樣年齡的男子來說,是不錯的。”想了解更多的英語笑話,請跟小編來應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生笑話網(wǎng)吧。
相親 Blind Date
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
和盲約對象呆了一晚上后,男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個朋友給他打電話,這樣他就能借故先離開了。當他回到桌邊,他垂下眼睛,裝出一副陰沉的表情,說:“有個不幸的消息,我的祖父剛剛?cè)ナ懒恕?rdquo;“謝天謝地!”他的約會對象說,“如果你的祖父不死,我的祖父就得死了!”
Lawyer and Engineer
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.
一個律師與一個工程師在加勒比海邊釣魚。律師說:“我到這里是因為我的.房子被大火燒了,保險公司賠償了我所有的損失。”
“這太巧了,”工程師說,“我是因為房子被洪水沖垮了,保險公司也賠償了所有的損失。”
律師看起來有些困惑,“你是怎么引起洪水的?”他不解的問。
Lose One Pound減掉一磅
I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."
Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"
我稱贊我的一個同事減肥10磅?墒,我禁不住夸耀說我17歲時,體重225磅,而目前體重是224磅。我還說:“這對我這樣年齡的男子來說,是不錯的。”
一個女子聽到了這些話,她說道:“你是說你花了這么長時間才減了1磅?”
The doctor lives downstairs醫(yī)生住在樓下
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
“醫(yī)生”她沖進屋后大聲說道。“我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什么病。”
他從頭到腳打量打量她,然后大聲說:“太太,我有三件事要對你說。第一,您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二,如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅,您的美貌將會改變。第三,我是一位畫家——醫(yī)生住在樓下。”
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