短篇英文笑話大全笑破你的肚子

　　He is really somebody My uncle has 1000 men under him. He is really somebody. What does he do? A maintenance man in a cemetery.　想了解更多的英語笑話，請跟小編來應屆畢業(yè)生笑話網(wǎng)吧。

　　慢行

　　Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".老師:為什么你每天早晨都遲到? 湯姆:每當我經(jīng)過學校的拐角處,就看見一個牌子上寫著學校----慢行。

　　A maintenance man in a cemetery

　　He is really somebody My uncle has 1000 men under him. He is really somebody. What does he do? A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　　他真是一個大人物，我叔叔下面有1000個人。他真是一個大人物。干什么的?墓地守墓人。

　　Five Hundred Times

　　In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."

　　在中西部一個大城市的交通法庭里，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由于開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。女士向法官解釋，她是一名學校老師，請求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠，說道：“你是學校的老師，對嗎?女士，我馬上要實現(xiàn)我畢生的愿望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫‘我開車闖了紅燈’500遍。”

　　Who Should be Given the Present

　　A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present, “Who is the most obedient, never talks back to mother and does everything he or she is told?” he inquired. There was silence and then a chorus of voices: “You play with it, Daddy!”

　　一個有五個孩子的父親帶著一件玩具回到家里，把孩子們召集來問這件禮物應該給誰。“誰最聽話，從不和媽媽頂嘴，讓干什么就干什么?”他問道。大家都不吭聲。過了一會兒，孩子們異口同聲地說：“爸爸，您玩兒吧。”

　　年長者階層

　　During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "Can you imagine, " she said. "Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!醫(yī)生按期來探視我的老母。我告訴他母親不幾天就要慶祝她98歲的生日了。醫(yī)生聽了也很高興，為此，他彎下腰來親了她一下。然后他說不幾天他也要慶祝自己的生日，并要求她還他一個吻。醫(yī)生走后，我母親厭惡地搖搖頭。“你能想象嗎，”她說，“付了他70元，我還得親他!”

　　你踩到我腳了

　　Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet. Patient: I know. But you are standing on my foot! 牙醫(yī)：請不要再叫了，我都還沒有挨著你的牙齒啊! 病人：但是，親，你可知道，你踩到我腳了!!!

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