長篇英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."更多長篇英語笑話盡在應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生笑話網(wǎng)。
最丑的孩子?
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
一位女士抱著她的寶寶上公交車，司機(jī)看到后說：“額，那是我這輩子見過的最丑的小孩。”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
女士走到車廂后面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對旁邊的男士說：“司機(jī)剛剛羞辱了我。”男士回應(yīng)說：“你快上去斥責(zé)他。去吧，我替你抱著你的猴子。”
A Man of Actions
A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening!”
A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him!” said another.
Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”
He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er???er???Miss Rose, er???he told me to get clean away from Oxford this very evening!”
一群學(xué)生聚在牛津的校園里，一個年輕人情緒激動地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那個家伙不收回他今早 對我說的話，我今晚就離開牛津。”
下面一片喧嘩。“真是個言出必行的人。”一個人艷羨地說。另一個說：“我們要支持他、學(xué)習(xí)他。”
突然，一個女孩問道：“那家伙對你說什么了，霍波?”
他彎下腰小聲說：“哦，呃…呃…，羅斯小姐，呃…他說要我今晚從牛津滾出去。”
If I Am a Manager
One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.
All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.
“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.
一天課上，老師要同學(xué)們以“如果我是一個經(jīng)理”為題寫一篇作文。
所有的'學(xué)生都在動筆寫了，只有一個男生例外。老師走過去問他為什么不寫。
“我在等我的秘書”。那孩子答道。
Isn’t it wonderful?
"What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man.
"I broke a mirror," he replied.
"But that means seven years of bad luck."
"I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"
這難道不好嗎?
“你高興什么?”一個女士問一個98歲的老人。
“我打碎了一個鏡子。”他回答。
“但那預(yù)示著7年的壞運(yùn)氣。”
“我知道。”他高興地說，“這難道不好嗎?”
Whats time to a pig?
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
一天，有一個城市里的游客來到一個小鄉(xiāng)村，在鄉(xiāng)間路上開著車，想看看農(nóng)莊是什么樣子，也想看看農(nóng)夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城里人看見一位農(nóng)夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城里人對農(nóng)夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費(fèi)時間嗎?"那位農(nóng)夫 回答說，“時間對豬有什么意義?”
我和老師的故事
Teacher: Tom and John! Why are you late for school today?
老師：湯姆!約翰!你倆今天為什么遲到了!
Tom: Madam, I lost a one-dollar coin and was searching for it.
湯姆：老師，我一直在找我丟失的一美元硬幣。
Teachear: John, what about you?
老師：那么你呢，約翰?
John: Madam, I was not able to move beacause I was hiding that coin under my feet.
約翰：老師，我不能動啊，我把他的硬幣藏腳底下了。
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