幽默故事和古今英語(yǔ)笑話

　　他什么都沒(méi)聽(tīng)到這則英語(yǔ)笑話的內(nèi)容是什么呢，大家趕緊來(lái)看看吧。

　　電腦問(wèn)題

　　I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges，delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"

　　我在惠普公司打印機(jī)部做技術(shù)支持工作已經(jīng)有一個(gè)月了，有一天我接到一位客戶的電話，她的問(wèn)題我沒(méi)辦法解決。她的問(wèn)題是：打印機(jī)不能打出來(lái)黃色，但是其它顏色都正常。這讓我覺(jué)得很納悶，因?yàn)槿�原色就是藍(lán)、紅、黃。我建議客戶更換墨盒、刪了驅(qū)動(dòng)程序然后重新安裝，但是都沒(méi)有效果。我咨詢同事們，他們也不知道該怎么辦。經(jīng)過(guò)兩個(gè)多小時(shí)的交涉，我打算讓客戶把打印機(jī)寄給我們，這時(shí)候她平靜地說(shuō)了一句：“我是不是應(yīng)該把這張黃紙扔了換一張白紙?jiān)俅蛴≡囋嚒?rdquo;

　　他什么都沒(méi)聽(tīng)到

　　Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."

　　我在郵局上班，對(duì)于顧客們的各種情緒早已習(xí)以為常了。所以，有一天當(dāng)一個(gè)生氣的顧客氣沖沖地來(lái)到我的工作臺(tái)時(shí)，我還是非常平靜地問(wèn)她，“有什么問(wèn)題嗎?”“我早上上街了，”女顧客說(shuō)，“我回到家的時(shí)候，我看到一個(gè)卡片，卡片說(shuō)郵遞員要給我們家送包裹，但沒(méi)人在家�？墒俏业恼煞蛘麄�(gè)早上都在家啊。他說(shuō)他什么都沒(méi)聽(tīng)到”。在表示了歉意之后，我把包裹給了她。“噢，太好了”，那位女顧客喜形于色。“我們等這東西都等多少年了!”“是什么好東西?”我問(wèn)。“我丈夫的新助聽(tīng)器”。

　　有效

　　Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor, the doctor gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"

　　湯姆早上老起不來(lái)，所以上班總是遲到。他的老板非常生氣，警告他如果他不能有所改善的話就炒他的魷魚(yú)。于是，湯姆去看醫(yī)生，醫(yī)生給了他一顆藥丸并告訴他要在睡覺(jué)前服下這顆藥。湯姆照醫(yī)生的話做了，睡得非常之好，事實(shí)上，他在早上鬧鐘響之前就起來(lái)了。湯姆從容不迫地吃完早餐，然后興高采烈地開(kāi)車上班去了。 “老板”，湯姆說(shuō)，“那藥真管用，我的睡眠好極了!” “是夠管用的，”老板說(shuō)，“問(wèn)題是，昨天你人哪去了”?

　　她懷孕了嗎?

　　A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the new doctors ... but after 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

　　有個(gè)婦女去看病，為她診治的是一名年輕的醫(yī)生。檢查進(jìn)行了大約四分鐘，她哭著跑了出去，在走廊里面一邊跑一邊大叫著。一位老醫(yī)生攔住了她，問(wèn)她發(fā)生了什么事，婦女告訴了他事情的經(jīng)過(guò)。聽(tīng)她說(shuō)完，老醫(yī)生讓她坐在另一間屋子里放松一下，他自己穿過(guò)走廊來(lái)到新醫(yī)生的辦公室：“你是怎么搞的?特里太太今年63歲，她的四個(gè)孩子都成年了，還有7個(gè)孫子孫女，可是你居然對(duì)她說(shuō)她懷孕了?”新醫(yī)生繼續(xù)做著他的紀(jì)錄，眼皮都沒(méi)抬一下：“她現(xiàn)在還打嗝嗎?”

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