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幽默笑侃英語(yǔ)笑話
下面由應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生小編收集的附帶翻譯英語(yǔ)笑話，超級(jí)搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話送給愛(ài)笑的你們。
Goodbye, Money
On a trip to Disney World
in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.
As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Goodbye, Mickey."
Our daughter waved and said, "Goodbye, Minnie."
My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Goodbye, Money."
迪斯尼之旅 弗羅里達(dá)州的迪斯尼樂(lè)園是一個(gè)迷人的地方。一次我和丈夫以及兩個(gè)孩子前往旅游，我們?nèi)硇牡爻磷碓谒母鞣N奇觀之中。精疲力竭地玩了三天之后，我們要回家了。
當(dāng)我們驅(qū)車(chē)離開(kāi)時(shí)，兒子揮手說(shuō)：“再見(jiàn)，美奇。”
女兒揮著手說(shuō)，“再見(jiàn)，美妮。”
丈夫也有氣無(wú)力地?fù)]了揮手，說(shuō)道：“再見(jiàn)，美元。”
A preacher is buying a parrot 傳教士買(mǎi)鸚鵡
A preacher is buying a parrot
Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.
Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.
Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lords prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.
Wonderful! says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?
I fall off my perch, you stupid fool! screeched the parrot.
一個(gè)傳教士在買(mǎi)鸚鵡
“你確信它不會(huì)尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問(wèn)。
“哦，絕對(duì)不會(huì)。它是一只虔誠(chéng)的鸚鵡。”店主保證說(shuō)。
“你看見(jiàn)它腿上的這些細(xì)繩了嗎?當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)右面的這根，它會(huì)背誦天主經(jīng)，當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)左面的那根，它會(huì)背誦贊美詩(shī)”
“太棒了!”傳教士說(shuō)，“但是如果我同時(shí)拉動(dòng)兩條繩子，會(huì)發(fā)生什么呢?”
“我會(huì)從樹(shù)干上掉下去的，你這個(gè)笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說(shuō)道。
the formula for water
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?""Sure. That's easy," said one man."What is it?""H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.""What, what?" reasked the instructor."H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
生化戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)課的老師在課堂上問(wèn)士兵們：“誰(shuí)知道水的分子式?”“當(dāng)然，太簡(jiǎn)單了。”一個(gè)士兵回答道。“是什么?”“H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.”“什么，什么?”老師又問(wèn)道。“H to O，”化學(xué)專(zhuān)家解釋道。
frog 青蛙
Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, "That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch."
老師正在給學(xué)生上生物課：“現(xiàn)在，我將要給你們看我袋子里的這只青蛙。”接著，他把手伸進(jìn)口袋，卻拿出了一份雞肉三文治。老師滿臉困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一會(huì)兒，說(shuō)道：“真奇怪。我明明記得我已經(jīng)把午飯吃掉了。”
相親 Blind Date
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
和盲約對(duì)象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個(gè)朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開(kāi)了。當(dāng)他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說(shuō)：“有個(gè)不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛?cè)ナ懒恕?rdquo;“謝天謝地!”他的約會(huì)對(duì)象說(shuō)，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”
《律師、寶馬和胳膊》
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.
一個(gè)律師打開(kāi)他的寶馬車(chē)門(mén)，突然一輛汽車(chē)駛過(guò)來(lái)把門(mén)撞飛了，警察趕到現(xiàn)場(chǎng)，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛(ài)的寶馬。
“警察同志，看看他們把我的車(chē)弄的!!!”律師哀怨地說(shuō)。
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
“你們律師真是物質(zhì)至上，我很不舒服!”警察反駁說(shuō)，“你這么關(guān)心你可惡的寶馬，你可能沒(méi)有注意到你的左胳膊也沒(méi)了。”
律師終于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的勞力士手表在哪兒?”
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