幽默爆笑英語笑話簡短

　　看過非常精彩的英語笑話嗎?下面由YJBYS小編給您送上幾段，讓您慢慢看。

　　At a Department Store 在百貨商店里

　　A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?”

　　一個結(jié)巴壯漢走進一家百貨公司問柜員：“男……男裝部在……在哪兒?”

　　The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

　　柜臺后的柜員看著他不搭話。

　　The man repeats himself, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him.

　　那男人又重復(fù)道：“男裝……裝部在……在哪兒?”柜員還是不理他。

　　The guy asks several more times, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.

　　壯漢問了好幾遍柜員依舊如故。最后，壯漢氣沖沖地走了。

　　The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, “Why wouldn’t you answer that guy’s questions?”

　　排在后面的顧客問那個柜員：“你怎么不答人家話呀?”

　　The clerk answers, “D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!”

　　柜員說：“你……你覺著我……我想找打……打是吧!?”

　　摩西和耶穌

　　A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".

　　一個竊賊潛入一戶人家。他看到一個喜歡的CD機，他趕緊拿了。就在這個時候他聽到有人說：“耶穌正在看著你。”他照著手電看來看去，嘀咕著：“到底是什么人在說話?”這時，他看到桌子上有些錢，他又拿了。。。那聲音又來了：“耶穌正在看著你。”他躲到一個角落，想找出是誰在說話。結(jié)果看到一只鸚鵡，于是他問鸚鵡：“是你在說話嗎?”鸚鵡承認了。 小賊說：“你叫什么名字?”“摩西”。小賊說：“什么人給鳥取這種名字?”鸚鵡回答：“就是那個給他的羅威那犬取名為‘耶穌’的那個人啊。”

　　Only One Eye to Settle On

　　The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn't you tell me this before ?"

　　"I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye.

　　姑娘找到媒人，說：“你欺騙了我。他的一只眼是假眼，你以前為什么不告訴我?” “怎么沒告訴你?”媒人也不甘示弱，“你們第一回見面后，我就說，他一眼就看中你了。”

　　上帝是不聾，可奶奶聾呀!

　　Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents'. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

　　His older brother nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."

　　To which the younger one replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

　　兩個小男孩在他們的祖父母家過夜。睡覺時間到了，這兩個小男孩跪在床上祈禱。弟弟用非常大的聲音祈禱著，“我祈求有一輛新自行車……我祈求有一個新游戲機……我祈求有一個新錄像機……”

　　他的哥哥用胳膊肘輕輕地碰了他一下，說：“你為什么這么大聲地喊叫呢?上帝又不是聾子。”

　　弟弟聽了回答道：“上帝是不聾，可奶奶聾呀!”

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