搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話簡(jiǎn)短

時(shí)間：2020-11-15 08:56:07 英語(yǔ)笑話我要投稿

搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話簡(jiǎn)短

　　“　As If Awakening From A Dream”是一個(gè)很經(jīng)典的英語(yǔ)笑話，希望你能快樂(lè)。

搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話簡(jiǎn)短

　　三人同舟

　　Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.

　　A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.

　　"Oh yes, " he said. "They are my friends.

　　"In that case, " warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"

　　"Yes, sir, " the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.

　　三位男子在公園的長(zhǎng)椅上坐著。中間的一個(gè)在讀報(bào)紙，另外兩個(gè)在假裝釣魚(yú)。他們給想象的魚(yú)鉤上魚(yú)餌，放線，并卷線把魚(yú)抓上來(lái)。

　　一位過(guò)路警察駐足觀察了這個(gè)景象，他問(wèn)中間的那個(gè)男子是否認(rèn)識(shí)其他兩位。

　　“喔，認(rèn)識(shí)，”他說(shuō)，“他們是我的`朋友。”

　　“那樣的話，”警察告誡說(shuō)，“你最好把他們從這里弄走。”

　　“好的，警官。”那男子回答說(shuō)，接著就開(kāi)始瘋狂般地做起劃槳的動(dòng)作來(lái)。

　　As If Awakening From A Dream

　　A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal(婚姻的) relation, even cause your wife to leave you… "

　　A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy."

　　以戒酒為主題的演講比賽正在進(jìn)行，一個(gè)演講者動(dòng)情地說(shuō)：“酒精可以破壞夫妻關(guān)系，甚至導(dǎo)致妻子離開(kāi)自己的丈夫……”

　　這時(shí)一個(gè)男人大聲喊：“再來(lái)一瓶白蘭地!”

　　Quick Cleanup快速清掃

　　Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

　　不速之客就在路上，我媽媽?zhuān)粋€(gè)完美的家庭主婦，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配給我爸和我哥哥的任務(wù)是打掃供客人使用的浴室。一會(huì)兒之后，當(dāng)她去檢查的時(shí)候，她吃驚了，曾經(jīng)一度雜亂的房間瞬間就被打掃干凈了。接著她看到浴簾上有一張紙條，紙條上寫(xiě)著：“謝謝你沒(méi)往浴缸里看。”

　　Isn’t it wonderful?

　　"What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man.

　　"I broke a mirror," he replied.

　　"But that means seven years of bad luck."

　　"I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"

　　這難道不好嗎?

　　“你高興什么?”一個(gè)女士問(wèn)一個(gè)98歲的老人。

　　“我打碎了一個(gè)鏡子。”他回答。

　　“但那預(yù)示著7年的壞運(yùn)氣。”

　　“我知道。”他高興地說(shuō)，“這難道不好嗎?”

　　Whats time to a pig?

　　One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

　　一天，有一個(gè)城市里的游客來(lái)到一個(gè)小鄉(xiāng)村，在鄉(xiāng)間路上開(kāi)著車(chē)，想看看農(nóng)莊是什么樣子，也想看看農(nóng)夫怎樣種田過(guò)日子。這位城里人看見(jiàn)一位農(nóng)夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹(shù)上的蘋(píng)果。城里人對(duì)農(nóng)夫說(shuō)，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋(píng)果的，但是，這不是很浪費(fèi)時(shí)間嗎?"那位農(nóng)夫回答說(shuō)，“時(shí)間對(duì)豬有什么意義?”

　　我和老師的故事

　　Teacher: Tom and John! Why are you late for school today?

　　老師：湯姆!約翰!你倆今天為什么遲到了!

　　Tom: Madam, I lost a one-dollar coin and was searching for it.

　　湯姆：老師，我一直在找我丟失的一美元硬幣。

　　Teachear: John, what about you?

　　老師：那么你呢，約翰?

　　John: Madam, I was not able to move beacause I was hiding that coin under my feet.

　　約翰：老師，我不能動(dòng)啊，我把他的硬幣藏腳底下了。

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