爆侃英語(yǔ)笑話大全

　　最好玩的英語(yǔ)笑話，盡在應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生網(wǎng)笑話欄目，歡迎大家來(lái)看英語(yǔ)笑話。

　　送出去還有的東西

　　What can Santa give away and still keep?

　　Answer: a cold.

　　什么東西圣誕老人可以分送出去，自己卻也還留著?

　　答案：感冒。

　　圣誕老人的愛(ài)好

　　What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?

　　Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.

　　圣誕老人喜歡在花園里做什么?

　　答案：鋤地。(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是鋤草之意，ho則是圣誕老人的笑聲。)

　　鉛筆

　　What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?

　　Answer: use a pen.

　　若圣誕老人的馴鹿吃掉你的鉛筆該怎么辦?

　　答案：用原子筆

　　1000元的腦筋急轉(zhuǎn)彎

　　On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.

　　Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

　　圣誕節(jié)前夕，圣誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高級(jí)飯店一同等電梯，門還未開(kāi)前，三人同時(shí)看到地上有一張新臺(tái)幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰(shuí)會(huì)將它撿起?

　　Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

　　答案：當(dāng)然是圣誕老人啦!為什么?因?yàn)榇蠹叶贾�道另外兩者并不存在�?/p>

　　奇怪的關(guān)系

　　Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!

　　四個(gè)好朋友在醫(yī)院里碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產(chǎn).護(hù)士過(guò)來(lái)對(duì)第一個(gè)男人說(shuō):"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說(shuō):"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達(dá)雙子隊(duì)的經(jīng)理."過(guò)了一會(huì)兒,護(hù)士過(guò)來(lái)對(duì)第二個(gè)男人說(shuō):"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,護(hù)士跑來(lái)對(duì)第三個(gè)男人說(shuō):"恭喜,你得了2對(duì)雙胞胎."男人很開(kāi)心地說(shuō):"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們?nèi)齻�(gè)都很高興,但第四個(gè)伙伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝并用頭撞墻.他們問(wèn)他有什么不對(duì)勁,他回答道:"什么不對(duì)勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"

　　一分鐘一百萬(wàn)

　　A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second."

　　一男子進(jìn)入教堂和上帝對(duì)話.他問(wèn):"主啊, 一百萬(wàn)美元對(duì)你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問(wèn):"那一百萬(wàn)年呢?"上帝說(shuō):"一秒鐘."最后男子請(qǐng)求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過(guò)一秒鐘."

　　媽媽在砸瓶子

　　A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. The child said, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."

　　一個(gè)婦人正在使勁打開(kāi)番茄醬的瓶子。這時(shí)，電話鈴響了，她叫四歲的女兒去接電話。小孩說(shuō)：“媽媽現(xiàn)在不能接電話，她在砸瓶子。”

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