英語(yǔ)笑話的英文

　　訓(xùn)練記住詩(shī)人的名字英語(yǔ)笑話，笑破你肚子哦。

　　Keep feeding him nickels

　　A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"

　　母親見三歲的兒子將一枚五分鎳幣放進(jìn)嘴里吞了下去，她立刻將他抱起，頭朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了兩枚一角的硬幣，她發(fā)狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父親喊道： “你兒子剛才吞下了一枚五分鎳幣，可咳出兩枚一角的硬幣!我該怎么辦呢?”孩子他爸大聲回答道：“再喂他幾枚鎳幣!”

　　汪汪叫的妻子

　　A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor. “When I was first married，I was very happy. I'd come home from a hard day down at the shop，and my little dog would race around barking，and my wife would bring me my slippers.Now everything's changed.When I come home，my dog brings me my slippers，and my wife barks at me.” “I don't know what you're complaining about，”said the counselor.“You're still getting the same service.”

　　一個(gè)結(jié)婚十年的男人正在請(qǐng)教一位婚姻顧問。“剛結(jié)婚那會(huì)兒，我非常幸福。我在店里勞累一天回到家，我的小狗會(huì)繞著我跑，汪汪叫，而我的妻子給我拿來(lái)拖鞋�，F(xiàn)在一切都變了。我回到家里，我的狗給我拿來(lái)拖鞋，我的妻子對(duì)著我汪汪叫。” “我不知道你在抱怨什么，”婚姻顧問說。“你得到的服務(wù)還是一樣的呀。”

　　訓(xùn)練記住詩(shī)人的名字

　　The Name of a PoetOur teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in some schools today. “It works like this，” she said.“Suppose you wanted tore member the name of a poet—Robert Burns，for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman，a bobby in flames.See?Bobby Burns!” “I see what you mean，” said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's Not Robert Browning?”

　　我們的老師正在給我們介紹現(xiàn)在某些學(xué)校使用的一種新的記憶訓(xùn)練系統(tǒng)。“這個(gè)系統(tǒng)是這樣的，”她說。“假定你要記住一個(gè)詩(shī)人的名字——例如，要記住羅伯特彭斯的名字。”她告訴我們把他當(dāng)作博比彭斯。“讓你的腦海里閃現(xiàn)出一個(gè)倫敦警察的形象，燃燒著的警察。明白嗎?警察燃燒!” “我明白你的意思，”班上的萬(wàn)事通說。“但是你怎么能說那就不是羅伯特布朗寧呢?”

　　大手

　　Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?Student: Big hands.

　　老師：如果我左手上有7個(gè)桔子，右手上有8個(gè)桔子。那么我有什么?學(xué)生：大手。

　　An Exact Number

　　A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur bones lying about.

　　"How old are these bones?" the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.

　　"Exactly one hundred million and three years old.

　　"How can you be so sure?" inquired the tourist.

　　"Well," replied the guide, " a geologist came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.

　　一位游客在新墨西哥游覽。他對(duì)隨處可見的恐龍化石甚感驚奇。

　　“這些化石有多長(zhǎng)的歷史?”游客問一個(gè)上了年紀(jì)的當(dāng)?shù)孛绹?guó)人。他是作向?qū)У摹?/p>

　　“整整十億零三年了。” “你怎么這么肯定?”游客問道。 “哦，”向?qū)Щ卮鸬溃?ldquo;一個(gè)地質(zhì)學(xué)家來(lái)過這兒，他告訴我說這些化石有十億年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。”

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