搞笑英文笑話故事

　　在日常學(xué)習(xí)、工作抑或是生活中，大家一定都接觸過故事吧，那么，都有哪些經(jīng)典童話故事呢？以下是小編幫大家整理的搞笑英文笑話故事，供大家參考借鑒，希望可以幫助到有需要的朋友。

　　兔子的論文

　　Its a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

　　這是一個陽光燦爛的晴朗日子，森林里一只小兔子坐在洞穴外，在打字機(jī)上敲敲打打。這時一只散步的狐貍走了過來。

　　Fox: "What are you working on?"

　　狐貍：“你在做什么呢?”

　　Rabbit: "My thesis."

　　兔子：“寫我的論文�！�

　　Fox: "Hmmm. Whats it about?"

　　狐貍：“唔，是關(guān)于什么的?”

　　Rabbit: "Oh, Im writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

　　兔子：“噢，我在寫兔子是怎樣吃掉狐貍的�！�

　　Fox: "Thats ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits dont eat foxes."

　　狐貍：“你太搞笑了吧!誰都知道兔子不吃狐貍。”

　　Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."

　　兔子：“兔子當(dāng)然吃，我能證明的。跟我來�！�

　　They both disappear into the rabbits burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.

　　它們一起消失在兔子的洞穴里，幾分鐘后只有兔子獨(dú)自出來了。它回到打字機(jī)前繼續(xù)敲打。

　　Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

　　很快，一只狼走了過來，停下看著兔子奮力工作。

　　Wolf: "Whats that youre writing?"

　　狼：“你在寫什么呢?”

　　Rabbit: "Im doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

　　兔子：“我在寫論文，關(guān)于兔子如何吃掉狼。”

　　Wolf: "You dont expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

　　狼：“你不會指望這種垃圾論文被發(fā)表吧!”

　　Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

　　兔子：“能發(fā)表，你想知道為什么嗎?”

　　The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

　　兔子和狼一起進(jìn)了洞穴，而兔子又一次獨(dú)自走了出來。幾分鐘后它繼續(xù)打字。

　　Inside the rabbits burrow: In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

　　兔子洞穴里：一個角落里是一堆狐貍骨頭，另一角落里是一堆狼骨頭。而另一側(cè)是一只獅子，它邊打著飽嗝，邊剔著牙齒。

　　It doesnt matter what you choose for a thesis subject.

　　論文的題目選什么無關(guān)緊要。

　　It doesnt matter what you use for data.

　　你用什么作為例證數(shù)據(jù)也無關(guān)緊要。

　　What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

　　真正重要的是：你的論文導(dǎo)師是誰!

　　刻舟求劍

　　A man from the state of Chu was taking a boat across a river when he dropped his sword into the water carelessly. Immediately he made a mark on the side of the boat where the sword dropped, hoping to find it later. When the boat stopped moving, he went into the water to search for his sword at the place where he had marked the boat. As we know, the boat had moved but the sword had not. Isn’t this a very foolish way to look for a sword?

　　楚國有個人坐船渡江時，他不小心把自己的一把寶劍掉落江中。他馬上掏出一把小刀，在寶劍落水的船舷上刻上一個記號。船靠岸后，那楚人立即從船上刻記號的地方跳下水去撈取掉落的寶劍。他怎么找得到寶劍呢?船繼續(xù)行駛，而寶劍卻不會再移動。像他這樣去找劍，真是太愚蠢可笑了。

　　拔苗助長

　　Once upon a time, there was an old farmer who planted a plot of rice. After he planted the seedlings, every day he went to the field to watch the seedlings grow. He saw the young shoots break through the soil and grow taller each day, but still, he thought they were growing too slowly. Eventually he got impatient with the young plants and suddenly he hit upon an idea that one by one, he pulled up the young plants by half an inch. The next early morning, the young man couldn’t wait to check his “achievement”, but he was heart-broken to see all the pulled-up young plants dying.

　　從前，有個農(nóng)夫，種了稻苗(seedlings)后，便希望能早早收成。每天他到稻田時，都發(fā)覺那些稻苗長得非常慢。他等得很不耐煩。想了又想，他終于想到一個“最佳方法”，他將稻苗全都拔高了幾分。第二天，一早起身，他迫不及待地去稻田看他的“成果”。 哪知，卻看到所有的稻苗都枯萎了。

　　掩耳盜鈴

　　Once upon a time, there was a man who wanted to steal his neighbor’s doorbell. However, he knew clearly that the bell would ring and catch the other people’s attention as long as he touched the bell. So he thought hard and suddenly hit on a clever “idea”. He plugged his ears with something, thinking that everything would go well when he stole the bell. Unfortunately to his disappointment, the bell still rang loudly and he was caught on the spot as a thief.

　　從前，有一個人想偷鄰居門上的鈴，但是他知道一碰到鈴，鈴就會響起來，被人發(fā)現(xiàn)。他想啊想，終于他想出一個“妙極”，他把自己的耳朵用東西塞起來，就聽不見鈴聲了。但是當(dāng)他去偷鈴時，鈴聲仍舊響起來，他被別人當(dāng)場抓住

　　畫蛇添足

　　Long long ago, several people had a jar of wine among them and all of them wanted to drink it by himself. So they set a rule that every one would draw a snake on the

　　ground and the man who finished first would have the wine. One man finished his snake very soon and he was about to drink the wine when he saw the others were still busy drawing, so he decided to draw the feet to the snake. However, before he could finish the feet, another man finished and grabbed the jar from him, saying, "Who has ever seen a snake with feet?” The story of "Draw a snake and add feet to It.” tells us going too far is as bad as not going far enough.

　　古時幾個人分一壺酒。他們都想獨(dú)自喝完那壺酒，所以就定了一個規(guī)矩：每人在地上畫一條蛇，誰畫得最快，這壺酒就歸誰。有一個人很快就把蛇畫好了。他正打算喝這壺酒時，看見別人都還在忙著畫，就決定給蛇再畫上幾只腳。結(jié)果，他的蛇腳還沒加完，另一個人已經(jīng)把蛇畫好了。那人一下把酒壺奪了過去，說：“有誰見過長腳的蛇?”。這個故事告訴我們這樣的道理：做得過分和做得不夠都是不對的

　　郭氏之墟

　　On a vacation trip, Duke Huan of the state of Qi came to the ruin of the capital of Guo Shi , which perished long ago.

　　Seeing the desolate and bleak prospects of broken tiles, collapsed walls, and clusters of weeds, he could not help asking the local people about the reason of the ruin of Guo Shi.

　　They replied,"Guo Shi was fond of doing good deeds, and averse to evildoing, which led to the perdition."

　　When the Duke could not understand the answer, people explained ," Though he liked doing good, he had never been able to do so; though he hated evildoing, never could he help not participating. That caused the ruin of his capital."

　　齊桓公出游途中，來到已經(jīng)滅亡許久的郭氏都城的廢墟。

　　看到瓦礫殘垣、雜草叢生的蕭條景象，忍不住問當(dāng)?shù)匕傩展�氏滅亡的原因�?百姓們回答說："郭氏由于喜愛善行善事。厭惡邪惡丑行而導(dǎo)致滅亡。" 齊桓公不能理解這種回答，百姓們便解釋說："郭氏雖然喜愛善行善事，但從來都不能做到;盡管厭惡邪惡丑行，卻總是忍不住參與其中。這就是他的`都城變成廢墟的原因。"

　　合則存，分則敗

　　A man once had four sons who never stopped quarrelling with one another. He was always telling them how much easier life would be if they worked together but they took absolutely no notice of him. One day he decided to show them what he meant. He called all the sons together and put a tightly tied bundle of sticks on the floor in front of them.

　　"Can you break that ? " he asked the youngest son. The boy put his knee on the bundle but though he pressed and pulled with his arms he could not bend the wood. The father asked each son in turn to try to break the bundle, but none of them could do it .

　　Then he untied the string and scattered the sticks.

　　" Now try, " he said . The boys broke the sticks easily in their hands.

　　"Do you see what I mean ?" asked the father. "if only you stand together no one can hurt you . If you all disagree the whole time and insist on going your separate ways, the first enemy you meet will be able to destroy you. " United we stand divided we fall.

　　從前有一個人，他有四個兒子。兒子們不斷地爭吵。他一再告誡他們說，如果他們一起干活兒，生活會舒適得多，但他們絲毫不理會他的意見。有一天，他決定通過示范把自己的意思告訴他們。

　　他把四個兒子都叫來，又把一捆扎得很緊的細(xì)樹枝放在他們面前的地上。 "你能折斷這個嗎?"他問最小的兒子。小伙子用膝蓋頂住，兩只手又壓又拉，都不能把那捆樹枝弄彎。父親讓別的兒子挨個兒試試，看他們是否能把那捆樹枝折斷，但誰也做不到。

　　然后，他解開繩子，把樹枝撒開。

　　"試試吧。"他說。四個小伙子用手輕輕一撅，樹枝就斷了。

　　"你們明白我的意思了嗎?"父親問，"只要你們聯(lián)合起來，誰也不能傷害你們。如果你們老吵架，一定要各行其是，那么你們一遇到敵人，就會被打敗。" 合則存，分則敗。

　　父賢不足恃

　　Believing that to govern a country well you would have to depend on some people, Wei Wenhou asked Gu Juanzi, "Can I depend on my father, son, brother, and liegemen, who all have virtues and talents?"

　　Gu Juanzi gave him a negative answer and explained one by one, "Yao was noted for being a good father. But his son was exiled. Shun was noted for being a filial son, but his father Gu Shou could not tell evil from kind, and his younger brother was arrogant. Zhou Gong was a sage, but his elder brother was ordered to be executed by him. Shang Tang and Zhou Wuwang were able liegemen, but they overthrew their monarchs Xia Jie and Shang Zhou respectively. Those who depend on others can never achieve his goal and will not pervade long. If a monarch wants to govern his country well, he has to depend on himself."

　　魏文侯認(rèn)為治理國家必須依靠一些人，便問孤卷子：“是否可以信賴有德有才的父親、兒子、哥哥、弟弟、臣下?”

　　孤卷子一一給予否決并解釋說：“堯是有名的閑父，可他的兒子丹珠卻遭到流放，舜是有名的孝子，但他的父親瞽膄卻分不清善惡，他的弟弟也特別傲慢;周公是賢人，然而他的哥哥管叔卻被他處死;商湯和周武王都屬于能臣，他們的君主夏桀和商紂卻被他們打翻。把希望寄托在別人身上的人絕不可能實現(xiàn)自己的目的，依賴別人的人也長久不了。君主要想治好國家，只能靠自己�！�

　　狐貍和烏鴉

　　有一天，一只烏鴉站在窩旁的樹枝上嘴里叼著一片肉，心里非常高興。這時候，一只狐貍看見了烏鴉，饞得直流口水，非常想得到那片肉。但是，無論狐貍說什么，烏鴉就是不理睬狐貍。最后，狐貍贊美烏鴉的嗓音最優(yōu)美，并要求烏鴉唱幾句讓他欣賞欣賞。烏鴉聽了狐貍贊美的話，得意極了，就唱起歌來。沒想到，肉一掉下來，狐貍就叼起肉，鉆回了洞。

　　The Fox and the Crow

　　One day a crow stood on a branch near his nest and felt very happy with the meat in his mouth. At that time, a fox saw the crow with the meat, so he swallowed and eagerly thought of a plan to get the meat. However, whatever the fox said to the crow, the crow just kept silent. Until the fox thought highly of the crows beautiful voice, the crow felt flattered and opened his mouth to sing. As soon as the meat fell down to the ground, the fox took the meat and went into his hole.

　　鑿壁偷光

　　Kuang Heng was born in a poor family. He liked reading books very much. He needed to work at daytime, so he had to read books during night. But he was too poor to buy a candle. One day, he found his neighbour had candles, but the light couldn’t go through his room. So he dug a small hole on the wall so that he could use the light to read books. From that day, he read books every night until the light went out. However, he finished reading all his books and there were no books for him to read. Then he went to a rich man’s house and worked for him without payment. The rich man asked: “ Why don’t you want the money?” Kuang Heng said: “ Because I only want to borrow your books.” The rich man agreed. Kuang Heng read the books one by one. Finally, he became a great scholar.

　　匡衡出生于一個貧苦的家庭。他非常喜歡讀書。他需要在白天工作，所以他不得不在晚上讀書。但是他太窮了，買不起一根蠟燭。有一天，他發(fā)現(xiàn)他的鄰居有蠟燭，但是光不能穿過他的房間。于是，他在墻上挖了一個小洞，以便可以利用光線看書。從那天起，他每天晚上都要看書，直到燈熄滅。然而，他讀完了所有的書，沒有書給他看。然后他去了一個富人的房子，為他工作，不要報酬。富人問：“你為什么不要錢？”匡衡說：“因為我只想借你的書�！备蝗送�意了�？锖獍堰@些書一本一本地看了一遍。最后，他成了一個偉大的學(xué)者。

　　邯鄲學(xué)步

　　During the Warring States period, a young man lived in Shouling. He always felt that he was not so perfect as he thought. One day, he heard that people in Handan walked in a gracefully way, so he decided to learn to walk there.One morning, he set off for Handan without telling anyone. Upon arrival at Handan, he was surprised when he saw the situation. Everyone walked in a different but gracefully way, children walking actively, the old walking steady and women walking charmingly. So he made up his mind to learn how the people of the State of Zhao walked in Handan. No matter how hard he tried, he was unable to learn the gait of the people there. On the contrary, he even forgot completely how he walked in Shouling. In the end, he had no choice but to crawl back to his hometown.

　　戰(zhàn)國時期，壽陵住著一個年輕人。他總覺得自己沒有想象中那么完美。有一天，他聽說邯鄲人走路的姿勢很優(yōu)美，于是他決定去邯鄲學(xué)走路。一天早上，他瞞著任何人出發(fā)去邯鄲。到達(dá)邯鄲后，他看到這一情況感到很驚訝。每個人都以不同但優(yōu)雅的方式走著，孩子們走得很有活力，老人走的很穩(wěn)健，女人們走的也很迷人。于是他下定決心，要學(xué)習(xí)趙國人在邯鄲是怎么走的。不管他怎么努力，他還是學(xué)不會那里人的步態(tài)。相反，他甚至完全忘記了自己在壽陵是怎么走的。最后，他別無選擇，只能爬回老家。

　　囫圇吞棗

　　Long ago, there was a young man who bought many fruits, like pears and dates. He sat at the roadside to eat them. An old man saw him and said: “Eating too many pears is good for teeth, but bad for your body.” The man asked: “How about dates?” The old man answered: “The dates are good for body but bad for teeth.” The young man thought for a while and said: “Ive got a good idea! I can eat pears with teeth and dont swallow them. And I can swallow dates without chewing.” Then he put a date into his mouth and swallowed it immediately. Unluckily, he was choked by the date.

　　從前，有個人買了一堆水果，有梨兒，也有棗兒，坐在路邊上吃。有個老頭兒看見了，對他說：“小伙子，梨兒可不能多吃呀。它雖然對牙齒有好處，可是吃多了對身體不好�！鼻嗄耆司蛦枺骸皸梼撼远嗔四兀俊崩项^兒說：“棗兒對身體是好的，可吃多了對牙齒不好，也不能多吃�！� 青年人看了看梨兒，又看了看棗兒，想了一會兒，說：“哈哈，我想出了個好辦法！我吃梨兒就只用牙齒嚼，不吞到肚子里去。吃棗兒，我就把它整個兒吞下去，不用牙齒嚼�！闭f完話，他就拿起一個棗兒放在嘴里，直接吞了下去。沒想到，他一下子就被棗兒噎住了。

　　杞人憂天

　　In the State of Qi, there was a man who was haunted by the fear that the sky might fall. He was so worried that he could neither eat nor sleep well. His friend said to him: “ The sky is gathered by gas. We are living in the air. It is impossible to fall.” After hearing this, the man set his fear at ease instantly. His friend was also delightful.

　　一個杞國人，每天都擔(dān)心天會掉下來，為此焦慮的吃不好睡不好。他的朋友開導(dǎo)他說：“天是由氣聚集而成的，我們就生活在空氣中。天是不可能掉下來的。” 杞國人聽后，頓感放心。他的朋友見狀也如釋重負(fù)，開心異常。

　　同舟共濟(jì)

　　In the Spring and Autumn period, the State of Wu and the State of Yue didn’t get along well. They had been fighting against each other for years.People in each country also didn’t have a good relationship. One day, the people of Wu and the people of Yue happened to be on the same boat to cross a river. At the beginning, they didn’t say a word with each other. When the boat sailed to the center of the river, a strong wind came. In no time, huge waves hit people’s faces. It seemed that the boat would sink at any time. Just then, they forgot all the hatred between two countries and began to help each other just like they were family. In the end, they safely got to the river bank under everyone’s effort.

　　春秋戰(zhàn)國時，吳、越兩國連年交兵，兩國百姓彼此在感情上也很難共容。有一次，吳國人和越國人碰巧共乘一條船渡河。開始時，他們都不理睬對方。船至河心，狂風(fēng)驟起，霎時驚濤駭浪迎面撲來，船隨時有可能覆沒。此時，他們忘記了仇恨，相互救濟(jì)，好像一家人一樣。由于全船人的齊心協(xié)力，終于安全到達(dá)對岸。

　　班門弄斧

　　During the Warring States period, there wasa carpenter named Lu Ban. He was good at making woody tools. One day, a youngman passed by a red gate. He held up an axe with his hand and said: “This axeis really good. I can make the greatest tools in the world with it.” Hearing this, people around here all laughed. One person asked: “So, can you make amore beautiful gate than this one?” “That’s so easy! I was a student of Lu Ban before! Making a similar gate is like a piece of cake!” The young man said arrogantly. “But the gate was made by Lu Ban!” All people said.

　　魯班是戰(zhàn)國時代的魯國人。他是一個善于制作精巧器具的能手，有一天，一個年輕的木匠漫不經(jīng)心地走到一個大紅門的房子前，舉起自己手里的斧子，說：“我這把斧子，別看它不起眼，可不管是什么木料，只要到了我的手里，用我的斧頭這么一弄，就會做出漂亮無比的東西來�！迸赃叺娜寺犃�，覺得他太夸口，就指著身后的大紅門說：“小師傅，那你能做出比這扇還好的門嗎？”年輕的`木匠傲慢地說：“不是我吹牛，告訴你們，我曾經(jīng)當(dāng)過魯班的學(xué)生，難道還做不出這樣一扇簡單的大門來，簡直是笑話。”眾人聽了，忍不住大笑起來，說：“這就是魯班先生的家，這扇就是他親手做的？

　　杯水車薪

　　One evening, Zhao Da passed by a tea house when he came back from cutting firewood.There were a lot of people drinking tea there. He put the firewood outside and walked into the tea house. When he finished a cup of tea, he found his firewood on fire. Zhao Da shouted: “Oh no! It’s on fire!” He took a cup of water, ran out of the door and splashed the water on the fire. Other people in the tea house also took their own cups to fight the fire. However, instead of being put out, the fire burned even harder.

　　一天傍晚，趙大砍柴回來，路過一個茶館，里面坐了很多人，有的在喝茶，有的在乘涼。他就把柴車停放在外面，也走進(jìn)茶館。趙大坐在那剛剛喝完一杯茶，只見茶館外面一片紅光，趙大放下茶杯，走到門口一看：原來是自己的一車柴草著火了。趙大喊起來："不好了，著火啦!"邊喊邊跑進(jìn)茶館，端起桌子上的一杯水，跑到門外往車上的柴草上潑去。茶館里的人，一聽趙大的叫喊聲，也都忙著端起自己的茶杯，往車上潑去�？墒牵�火不但沒滅，反而燃燒得更猛烈了。

　　自相矛盾

　　A young man ran a business in the market. One day, he held up a shield and said proudly: “My shield is very strong. It can stop any spear in the world.” Then he held up his spear and bragged: “My spear is very sharp. No matter how strong a shield is, my spear can pierce it.” People all around here laughed when they heard the words of the young man. One of them asked: “So, according to what you said, your spear is the sharpest. No matter how strong a shield is, your spear can pierce it. And your shield is also the strongest. No matter how sharp a spear is, it can’t pierce your shield. Well, what will happen if I pierce your shield with your spear?" The young man was too embarrassed to say anything.

　　古時候，有一個人，他既賣矛又賣盾。一天，他在集市上叫賣，非常得意。他舉起他的盾說：“我的盾非常堅固。無論怎樣好的矛，都戳不穿它！”說完，他又舉起他的矛夸口說：“我的矛非常鋒利。無論怎樣堅固的盾都能戳進(jìn)去！”站在旁邊的人聽了，都暗暗地發(fā)笑。有人問他：“照你這樣說，你的矛是最鋒利的。無論怎樣硬的盾都戳得進(jìn)去。你的`盾又是最堅固的。無論怎樣鋒利的矛，也別想戳進(jìn)去。那么，現(xiàn)在我用你的矛來戳你的盾，看看結(jié)果會怎樣呢？”那個人窘得連一句話也答不上來。

　　按圖索驥

　　In the Spring and Autumn Period, a man named Bo Le is an expert in identifying a good horse. He put his experiences in this area into his book Physiognomy Of Horses, which illustrated all kinds of horses with rich pictures and words. His son wanted to learn his skill about identifying a good horse. Then he read the book carefully over and over again. He thought he had mastered the skill. Once he saw a toad along the road, whose forehead was in accord with the features of a good horse. Then he rushed to his father and told him he had found a good steed. Hearing this, Bo Le didn’t know whether to cry or laugh. He had to reply jokingly: “ This horse does too well in jumping, so it’s hard for us to rein it. ”

　　春秋時期，有個人叫伯樂，他非常善于鑒別馬匹，他將自己這方面的經(jīng)驗寫成了一本書《相馬經(jīng)》，書中圖文并茂地介紹了各類馬匹。他的兒子想學(xué)到識馬的本領(lǐng)。于是就把父親的這本書反復(fù)誦讀，之后，他就以為自己已經(jīng)掌握了這個本領(lǐng)。有一次他在路上看到了一只癩蛤蟆，前額剛好與《相馬經(jīng)》上的好馬特征相符，便以為找到了一匹千里馬，馬上跑去告訴父親。伯樂被兒子弄得哭笑不得，就開玩笑的回答說：“這匹馬太會跳了，不好駕馭�！�

　　月攘鄰雞

　　今有人日攘其鄰之雞者，或告之曰：“是非君子之道�！闭垞p之，月攘一雞，以待來年然后已�！�

　　如知其非義，斯速已矣，何待來年？

　　白話翻譯：

　　有個人每天偷他鄰居的雞，有個人對他說：“這不是君子的行為。”那個人說：“我先少偷一點(diǎn)，每月偷一只，等到明年再完全改正�！�

　　如果知道這樣做不符合道義，就要趕緊改正，為什么要等到明年呢？

　　Once a Month

　　Now there was a man who stole a chicken from his neighbour every day.

　　"This is not the way a man of moral principles should behave." he was told.

　　"Well, then Ill reduce the number,"he replied,"Ill steal one every month and next year I wont steal any more."

　　since he knew he was doing something wrong,he ought to stop at once. why wait till next year?

　　野豬和狐貍

　　The wild boar and the fox

　　A wild boar was sharpening his tusks against a tree one day when a fox came by.“What are you doing that for?”asked the fox. “There are no hunters around. Everything looks very peaceful to me.”“Quite true.” said the boar, “but when the hunter does come with his dogs I shall be too busy running away to have time for this. So let me sharpen my tusks while I can.”Be prepared.

　　有一天，野豬在樹上磨牙齒，狐貍走過來�！澳銥槭裁锤蛇@個呀？”狐貍問，“附近又沒有獵人，我覺得平安無事。”“不錯�！币柏i說，“但是，如果獵人真的帶著獵狗來了，我只能逃走，就沒工夫干這個了。趁我現(xiàn)在可以磨，就讓我磨磨牙齒吧�！睍r刻準(zhǔn)備著（有備無患）。

　　畫龍點(diǎn)睛

　　Mr. Li is a good painter. One day he draws a beautiful dragon without eyes.

　　Mr. Zhou looks at the picture and says, “The dragon has no eyes. It isn’t a good picture.”

　　But Mr. Li smiles and says, “If I add eyes to the dragon, it will fly away.”

　　Mr. Zhou shakes head and says, “You are boasting. I don’t believe you.”

　　Mr. Li isn’t angry. He holds the paintbrush and adds eyes to the dragon. Woe! The dragon really flies.

　　李先生是位很好的`畫家。一天畫了一條栩栩如生的龍，但是這只龍沒有眼睛。

　　周先生見了說：“這條龍沒有眼睛。這不算一張好畫�！�

　　可是李先生笑著說：“如果我給它加上眼睛，它就會飛走了�！�

　　周先生搖頭說：“你吹牛。我不相信�！�

　　李先生也不生氣，只是拿起筆給龍點(diǎn)上眼睛。哇！龍真的飛走了。

　　對牛彈琴

　　Gong Mingyi was a famous musician in ancient times, who played the lute very well.

　　公明儀是古代一位很有名的音樂家，彈得一手好琴。

　　One day, while playing the lute indoors, Gong Mingyi saw a cow eating grass leisurely outside the window. He had a sudden whim to play some melodies for the cow. He first played the "Exercise of Qing Jiao", but the cow still kept on eating grass with head lowered. He seemed to realize that the melody was too highbrow for the cow to understand.

　　有一天，他在室內(nèi)彈琴，看見一頭牛在窗外悠閑地吃著草。他忽然想彈幾曲給牛聽聽。他先彈了一曲“清角之操”。可是，牛還是跟剛才一樣，只顧低著頭吃草。他似乎意識到，這支曲子太高雅了，牛沒有聽懂。

　　So he played several other melodies, imitating the buzzing sounds of swarms of flying mosquitoes, and the bleats of a calf looking for its companions. At this, to his surprise, the cow stopped eating grass, but raised its head, pricked up its ears, wagged its tail and, pacing up and down in small steps, began to listen attentively.

　　于是，他彈了另外幾支曲子，模擬蚊子成群結(jié)隊飛來飛去的嗡嗡聲;模擬小牛犢尋找伙伴的眸眸叫喚聲。這樣一來，這頭牛竟然不吃草了，抬起頭，豎著耳朵，甩著尾巴，邁著小步，留心地傾聽起來。

　　后來居上

　　Ji Anlived at the time of Emperor Wudi of the Western Han Dynasty (206 B.C.-A.D.24). He was respected for being upright and just and for daring to speak the truth. He did not bother about amall matters in personal behaviour and in being an official. He was particular about actual effects and ,although he did not cause a stir ,he could keep the prefecture he governed in perfect order. Because of this. the imperial court transferred him to the central government from being the perfect of the Donghai Prefecture to being a commander in charge of the appointment and dismissal of the local officals.

　　汲黯是西漢武帝時代人，以剛直正義、敢講真話而受人尊重。他為人和做官都不拘小節(jié)，講求實效。雖然表面上不那么轟轟烈烈，卻能把一個郡治理得井井有條，因此，朝廷把他從東海太守調(diào)到朝廷當(dāng)主爵都尉——一種主管地方吏任免的官職。

　　Once,Emperor Wudi said that he would implement the policy of benevolence and justice of Confucianism and would do good turns to the people.Emperor Wudi Had hardly finished his remards when Ji An said that there was no need for the emperor to say so.Why should the emperor bother,Ji An said, about pretending to implement the policy of benevolence and justice since he was so greedy and avaricious within himself? This choked the emperor off. The emperor suddenly Changed his countenance and declared the meeting over. All the civilian and military officers at court were breathless with anxiety for fear that Ji An might bring disaster upon himself because of this. After returning, Emperor Wudi said to the people around him that Ji An was a little too rude and too straightforward.

　　有一次，漢武帝說要實行儒家的仁義之政，為老百姓辦好事了。沒等皇帝把話說完，汲黯就說：“陛下內(nèi)心里那么貪婪多欲，表面上卻要裝得實行仁政，這是何苦呢？”一句話把皇帝噎了回去。漢武帝登時臉色大變，宣布罷朝，滿朝文武都為汲黯捏著一把汗，擔(dān)心他會因此招來大禍。武帝回到宮里以后，對身邊的人說，汲黯這個人也未免太粗太直了。

　　For this reason ,Ji An was never promoted again. When he was the commander in charge of the appointment and dismissal of the local officials, both Gongsun Hong and Zhang Tang were low -ranking lfficials of little importance. Later ,they were promoted continuously. Gongsun Hong became the prime minister and Zhang Tang became the imperial censor. However, JiAns post remained thesame. One day, Ji An said to Emperor Wudi that the way the emperor used his ministers was just like piling up firewood, which meant that the latecomers surpassed the old-timers. Of course, Emperor Wudi could see that Ji An was complaining. So,turning to his ministers, Emperor Wudi said, "It is true that no one can stop learning.You see, Ji An is making more and more indiscreet remarks."

　　從此以后，汲黯的官職再也沒有提升。他當(dāng)主爵都尉的時候，公孫弘、張湯都還是不起眼的小官，后來，他們一個勁兒住上升，公孫弘當(dāng)上了丞相，張湯做上了御史大夫，可他汲黯還蹲在原地沒動窩。有一天，汲黯對武帝說，陛下使用群臣，跟碼劈柴一樣，是“后來者居上”啊！漢武帝當(dāng)然聽得出這是發(fā)牢騷。于是，轉(zhuǎn)臉對臣下們說：“人真是不能不學(xué)習(xí)��！你們聽汲黯說話，越來越離譜了！”

　　This story comes from The Historical Records. Later generations use the set phrase "the latecomers surpass the old-timers " to indicate that successors can cxcel the predecessors, which is quite different from the original idea when Ji An said that the latecomers surpassed the old-timers.

　　故事出自《史記·汲鄭列傳》。成語“后來居上”，往往指后起的`可以勝過先前的。和汲黯說這話的原意，大不相同。

　　指鹿為馬

　　In Qin dynasty, there was a powerful and evil counselor named Zhao Gao。

　　在秦朝，有個很得勢的奸臣叫趙高。

　　Zhao Gao wanted to rebel, but he didnt know how many people in the court would stand by his side。

　　趙高想造反，但是又不知道群臣中有多少人會支持他。

　　So he worked out a way to test the people。

　　于是他想了個辦法來測試。

　　He presented a deer as a tribute to the emperor in front of the court, and said that it was a swift horse。

　　他在群臣面前送了一頭鹿給皇上，并說這是一匹千里馬。

　　The emperor not accepting his statement said, "This is obviously a deer."

　　皇上不信，說“這明明是鹿啊�！�

　　Then, Zhao Gao took this opportunity to ask the court, "Is this a deer or a horse?"

　　然后趙高借機(jī)問各位大臣，“這是鹿還是馬?”

　　In the court, those who didnt dare to go against Zhao Gao agreed with him and said that it was a horse, those who dared to go against Zhao Gao said that it was a deer。

　　在大臣中，不敢反抗趙高的`都贊同說是馬，敢于反對趙高的說是鹿。

　　Later, Zhao Gao remembered the counselors who didnt agree with him and persecuted them to solidify his power。

　　后來，趙高記住了這些反對他的人并加以迫害，以鞏固自己的勢力。

　　This story is still popular even today. People use this idiom to describe someone who calls white black。

　　這個故事流傳至今，人們用這個成語來形容一個人顛倒黑白。

　　天衣無縫

　　one summer night, when the moon was very bright he suddenly saw a girl descending（下降） slowly from the sky. he observed the girl closely, and found that the dress she was wearing was seamless（無縫的） . he was puzzled, and asked why. the girl answered,"heavenly clothes are not sewn with needle and thread."

　　傳說古代太原人郭翰在夏夜里乘涼，見一個仙女從天上下來，她身穿白衣，美麗絕倫。她告訴他她名叫織女。郭翰仔細(xì)欣賞織女的衣裳渾然一體，竟看不出一絲線縫，好奇問織女�？椗�答道：“天衣本非針線為也�！�

　　this idiom is used metaphorically to indicate the flawless handling of things. it can also be used to indicate a perfectly written poem or other literary article.

　　神話傳說，仙女的`衣服沒有衣縫。比喻事物周密完善，找不出什么毛病。

　　買犢還珠

　　In the past, a man of the State of Chu intended to go to the State of Zheng to sell pearls.

　　從前，有個楚國人準(zhǔn)備到鄭國賣珍珠。

　　First he used rare lily magnolia to make a small exquisite case which he fumigated with the delicate fragrance of osmanthuses and Chinese prickly ashes. Furthermore, the case was inlaid with emerald-green jadeite, and adorned with attractive rosy jade. The whole case was decorated in an extremely exquisite way.

　　他先用名貴的木蘭做了一只精巧的小匣子，又用幽香的牡桂和花椒把匣子熏了一下，并且在匣子上面鑲了碧綠的翡翠，還嵌上引人注目的玫瑰石，整個匣子裝演得十分考究。

　　A man of the State of Zheng saw this exquisite case and liked it very much. He bought it with a great deal of money, but he returned the pearl in the case to the man of Chu.

　　有個鄭國人看到這只精美的匣子，非常喜歡，就用重金買了下來。但是，他卻把匣子里的珍珠退還給了那個楚國人。

　　Later, people ridiculed the man of Chu by saying that he was good at selling cases, but not good at selling pearls.

　　后來，人們都嘲笑這個楚國人，說他很善于賣匣子，卻不善于賣珍珠。

　　To go too far in the pursuit of form just like letting a presumptuous guest usurp the hosts role, which brings about opposite results.

　　過分追求形式，反而會喧賓奪主，效果適得其反。

　　子罕拒玉

　　A farmer in the state of Song once got a piece of stone with jade init.

　　宋國人有個農(nóng)夫得到一塊含寶玉的石頭后，將它獻(xiàn)給了相國子罕。

　　He presented this stone to Prime Minister Zi Han. But Zi Han refused toaccept it. The farmer explained, “It looks like just a stone, butthere is jade inside. It actually is a piece of treasure and suitable forhonorable men like you, not for us common people.”

　　子罕拒絕接受這塊石頭，農(nóng)夫解釋說：“表面上它是塊石頭，但里面含有寶玉，是個寶物，適合您這樣的貴人使用，我們普通百姓用它就不合適了�！�

　　“I know there is jade inside,” Zi Han said,” but I disagree with you. I think to have the virtue of declining things that do not belongto oneself is the real treasure. ”

　　子罕說：“我知道里面是寶玉。但我的觀點(diǎn)和你不同，我認(rèn)為具有不接受不應(yīng)得的東西的`品德才是真正的寶玉�！�

　　南轅北轍

　　Once a man wanted to go to the south, but his carriage was heading north. A passer-by asked him: “If you are going to the south, why is your chariot heading north? ” The man answered, “My horse is good at running, my driver is highly skilled at driving a carriage, and I have enough money. ” The man didnt consider that the direction might be wrong; the better his conditions were, the further he was away from his destination.

　　從前有個人要到南方去，他坐的車子卻向北方行駛。過路人說：“你去南方，車子怎么向北行駛呢？”他回答說：“我的馬很能跑路，我的車夫駕車的技術(shù)也很高明，加上我又帶了充足的路費(fèi)。”這個人沒有考慮到，方向弄反了，他的條件越好，離他要去的地方就越遠(yuǎn)。

　　The idiom derived from this story indicates that ones action was the opposite effect to ones intention.

　　后來人們就把這個故事概括為“南轅北轍”，比喻一個人的行為和他的目的正好相反。

　　臥薪嘗膽

　　During the Spring and Autumn period （770－476BC）, the State of Wu launched an attack against the State of Yue. The King of Wu was seriously wounded and soon died. His son Fu Chai became the new King. Fu was determined to get revenge. He drilled his army rigidly until it was a perfect fighting force. Three years later, he led his army against the State of Yue and caught its king Gou Jian. Fu took him to the State of Wu.

　　春秋時期，吳國和越國之間進(jìn)行了一場戰(zhàn)爭，吳王不幸受了重傷，不久就死了。他的兒子夫差作了吳國的新國王，他發(fā)誓要替父親報仇。于是，他嚴(yán)格的操練他的士兵，把他們訓(xùn)練成了一支非常厲害的軍隊。三年以后，他對越國發(fā)動了戰(zhàn)爭，抓住了越王勾踐，把他帶回了吳國。

　　In order to avenge his fathers death, Fu let him live in a shabby stone house by his fathers tomb and ordered him to raise horses for him. Gou pretended to be loyal to Fu but he never forgot his humiliation. Many years later, he was set free. Gou secretly accumulated a military force after he went back to his own state. In order to make himself tougher he slept on firewood and ate a gall-bladder before having dinner and going to bed every night. At the same time he administered his state carefully, developing agriculture and educating the people. After a few years, his country became strong. Then Gou seized a favorable opportunity to wipe out the State of Wu.

　　為了復(fù)仇，夫差讓勾踐住在他父親墓旁的破石屋里天天看墓、喂馬。勾踐表面上服從，心里面卻想著復(fù)仇。幾年以后，勾踐被放回越國。他立刻開始秘密聚集一支軍隊。為了提醒自己不要忘了報仇，他睡在柴上，還每天在吃飯睡覺前嘗一嘗苦膽。同時，他專心治理國家，大力發(fā)展農(nóng)業(yè)，加強(qiáng)民眾教育。幾年后，越國又變得強(qiáng)大起來，然后，勾踐抓住一個適當(dāng)?shù)腵機(jī)會消滅了吳國。

　　Later, people use it to describe one who endures self-imposed hardships to strengthen ones resolve to realize ones ambition.

　　后來，人們用它來形容人刻苦自勵以達(dá)到自己定下的目標(biāo)。

　　毛遂自薦

　　In the Warring States Period, the State of Qin besieged the capital of the State of Zhao. Duke Pingyuan of Zhao planned to ask the ruler of the State of Chu personally for assistance. He wanted to select a capable man to go with him. A man called Mao Sui volunteered. When the negoti-actions between the two states were stalled because the ruler of Chu hesitated to send troops, Mao Sui approached him, brandishing a sword. At that, the ruler of Chu agreed to help Zhao, against Qin.

　　戰(zhàn)國時代，秦國軍隊攻打趙國的都城。趙國的平原君打算親自到楚國去請救兵，想挑選一個精明能干的人一同前去。有一個名叫毛遂的人，自告奮勇愿意同去。平原君到楚國后，與楚王談了半天，沒有一點(diǎn)結(jié)果。毛遂怒氣沖沖地拿著寶劍，逼近楚王，終于迫使楚王答應(yīng)出兵，與趙國聯(lián)合共同抵抗秦國。

　　This idiom means to recommend oneself.

　　“毛遂自薦”這個成語用來比喻自己推薦自己，不必別人介紹。

　　驚弓之鳥

　　In the Warring States Period, there was a man in the State of Wei called Geng Lei. One day he said to the king: I can shoot down birds by simply plucking my bowstring. When the king expressed doubt, Geng Lei pointed his bow at a wild goose flying in the sky, twanged the bowstring, and the goose fell to the ground. Geng Lei said, This goose has been hurt in the past. Hearing the twang of the bowstring, it assumed that it was doomed. So it simply gave up trying to live.

　　戰(zhàn)國時期（公元前403―221年中國中原地區(qū)各諸侯國連年爭戰(zhàn)的時代）魏國有個名叫更羸的人。一天，他對國王說：“我只要拉開弓，空射一下，就能把天上的鳥射下來�！眹�王不相信。更羸便對準(zhǔn)天上飛來的一只雁射去，果真那只雁聽到拉弦的聲音就掉了下來。國王感到很奇怪。更羸說，“那是一只受過傷的`雁。它一聽到我拉開弓弦的聲響，就驚慌得支持不住，自然要掉下來了�！�

　　This idiom means that if one has been frightened in the past ones will may become paralysed in a similar situation.

　　“驚弓之鳥”這個成語比喻受過驚恐之后，有一點(diǎn)動靜就特別害怕。

　　葉公好龍

　　There is a young man, Lord Ye. He likes dragons vey much. He draws many dragons in his house. The house becomes a world of dragon.

　　有個年輕人，姓葉，非常喜歡龍.他在屋里里面了許多許多龍。這屋子都快成了龍的世界。

　　A red dragon hears of Lord Ye, and is deeply moved. He wants to visit Lord Ye and makes a friend with him.

　　一龍真龍聽說了葉公的事，很受感動，就想去拜訪葉公，和他交個朋友。

　　“Hi, Mr. Ye! Nice to meet you,” the real dragon comes to visit Mr. Ye runs away as fast he can. “Oh, my God! Help! Help!” he runs and shouts.”

　　“嘿。葉先生！很高興見到你�！边@條真龍拜訪葉先生了�？墒侨~先生飛快地逃了。忒邊跑邊喊：“啊，我的`天�。【让�！救命！”

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