簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯大全
英語(yǔ)要是不好,真的連笑話都看不懂哦!
1. A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
程序猿的老婆告訴他:“你去商店給老娘買一條面包。如果他們有雞蛋,你就帶1打回來(lái)。”結(jié)果,程序猿回家的時(shí)候,帶了12條長(zhǎng)面包。
Hint:程序猿都清楚IF語(yǔ)句。如果條件成立,那么怎么怎么樣。商店里面一定有雞蛋哈哈哈。
2. A mathematician wanders back home at 3a.m. and proceeds to get an earful from his wife.
“You’re late!” she yells. “You said you’d be home by 11:45!”
“Actually,” the mathematician replies coolly, “I said I’d be home by a quarter of 12.”
一個(gè)數(shù)學(xué)家在晚上3點(diǎn)時(shí)徘徊著回家,結(jié)果被老婆罵了一頓。
“你特么怎么這么晚!”她大喊道:“你說(shuō)你會(huì)11點(diǎn)45分前回來(lái)的!”
“事實(shí)上……”這位數(shù)學(xué)家蛋定地回復(fù)到:“我說(shuō)的是在‘12的四分之一’也就是3點(diǎn)回來(lái)”
Hint:a quarter是四分之一的意思,目測(cè)數(shù)學(xué)家今晚要跪搓衣板。
3. Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
你聽說(shuō)過(guò)誦讀困難者,不可知論失眠癥患者嗎?哦知道,他整完不睡覺(jué)都在想世界上到底有沒(méi)有“狗”的存在。
Hint:用一個(gè)很怪異的故事解釋了這三個(gè)詞的含義,典型的美式幽默,不正經(jīng)地說(shuō)一件正經(jīng)的事情
4. You blew up your chemistry experiment? It’s OK, oxidants happen.
你做實(shí)驗(yàn)的時(shí)候炸了?沒(méi)事的,氧化總會(huì)發(fā)生。
Hint:其實(shí)意思是說(shuō)意外總會(huì)有的,英語(yǔ)中諧音oxidant=accident
5. Your momma is so mean… she has nostandard deviation.
你媽媽太吝嗇了……一點(diǎn)均方差都沒(méi)有。
Hint:mean另外一個(gè)意思是平均數(shù),與standard deviation同為數(shù)學(xué)名詞,用了雙關(guān)
6. What’s the difference between anetymologist and an entomologist?… An etymologist knows the difference.
語(yǔ)源學(xué)者和昆蟲學(xué)者中間的差別是什么?語(yǔ)源學(xué)者知道差別。
Hint:etymologist和entomologist 兩個(gè)單詞讀音非常接近但有不同,回答者雞智地說(shuō)研究詞語(yǔ)來(lái)源的.語(yǔ)源學(xué)者知道這個(gè)不同點(diǎn)。
7. How many Marxists does it take to screwin a light bulb? None: the light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution
需要多少馬克思主義者才能擰“上”這個(gè)燈泡呢?一個(gè)都不需要:燈泡自己有革命的種子(指燈泡自己會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)進(jìn)去)。
Hint:諷刺那些空談家,自行百度Light bulb joke
8. The other day my friend was telling me that I didn’t understand what irony meant. Which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop.
有一天,我朋友正問(wèn)我irony什么意思,真是讓人啼笑皆非,因?yàn)槲覀儺?dāng)時(shí)就站在公交車站上!
Hint:irony有兩個(gè)意思,“諷刺冷嘲”和“鐵的”。
9. A man is talking to God. “God, how longis a million years?”
God answers, “To me, it’s about a minute.”
“God, how much is a million dollars?”
“To me, it’s a penny.”
“God, may I have a penny?”
“Wait a minute.”
一個(gè)人對(duì)上帝說(shuō):“上帝啊,一百萬(wàn)年有多長(zhǎng)?”
“對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō),就像一分鐘那么短。”上帝回答道。
“那……上帝啊,一百萬(wàn)刀到底是多少啊?”
“對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)就差不多是一便士吧。”
“那上帝,能給我一便士嗎?”
“稍等一分鐘……”
Hint:哈哈哈哈哈,上帝說(shuō)的一分鐘可是一百萬(wàn)年啊……
10. A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.”
一個(gè)光子入駐酒店,行李搬運(yùn)工問(wèn)他是否有行李。光子說(shuō):“沒(méi)有,我輕裝便行的。”
Hint:light是即指輕的,又指光。又是一次雙關(guān)。
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