歡樂爆笑英語笑話

　　我有一個妹妹

　　Father: Is the school closed today?

　　Son: No, Dad. I came home early.

　　Father: How did you do that?

　　Son: I told my teacher I had a new baby brother and had to come home and help you.

　　Father: But your mother has had twins. You've got a baby brother and a baby sister.

　　Son: Yes, I know, Dad. I'm saving up my baby sister for next week.

　　父親：今天學校放假了嗎?

　　兒子：沒有，爸爸。我提前回來了。

　　父親：為什么?

　　兒子：我跟老師說，我有一個小弟弟，我得回家?guī)湍恪?/p>

　　父親：但是你媽媽生了雙胞胎，你有一個小弟弟和一個小妹妹。

　　兒子：是的，我知道，爸爸，我要等下個星期再說我有個小妹妹了。

　　醉酒 Drunk

　　One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

　　"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

　　一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀!”

　　一封特別的感謝信

　　Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets - sorry, you didn't win."

　　有一次，我收到一封感謝信，是一個我曾幫助過的'朋友寄來的。信封內(nèi)有五張彩票，都被刮過了，露出了數(shù)字。“非常感謝您的幫助，”信上寫道，“作為禮物，我給您買了些彩票——真遺憾，您沒中獎。”

　　Lose One Pound減掉一磅

　　I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."

　　Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"

　　我稱贊我的一個同事減肥10磅。可是，我禁不住夸耀說我17歲時，體重225磅，而目前體重是224磅。我還說：“這對我這樣年齡的男子來說，是不錯的。”

　　一個女子聽到了這些話，她說道：“你是說你花了這么長時間才減了1磅?”

　　What Was It She Wanted?

　　A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.“No，ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon.” Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，“Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week.” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：“Never， never， never say we are out of anything—say we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?” “Rain.” said the clerk.

　　一個商店經(jīng)理聽見一個店員對顧客說：“不，夫人，這會兒沒有，一時半會兒看來也不會有。”經(jīng)理驚恐萬分地跑到顧客跟前說：“當然，馬上就會有的。我們上周訂了貨。”然后經(jīng)理把店員拉到一邊：“千萬，千萬，千萬不要說我們沒有什么——說我們已經(jīng)訂了貨，貨馬上就到。現(xiàn)在你說她要買什么?” “雨，”店員說。

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