爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話對(duì)話
笑話是指以一句短語(yǔ)或一個(gè)小故事讓說(shuō)話者和聽(tīng)者之間覺(jué)得好笑,或是產(chǎn)生幽默感,另外一個(gè)行動(dòng)(動(dòng)作)型的笑話是以動(dòng)作影響人的視覺(jué)及觀感,而感到好笑。以下是小編為大家整理的有關(guān)爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話對(duì)話，希望對(duì)您有所幫助。
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話對(duì)話1
理發(fā)師
Harry: "My big brother shaves every day."
哈里：“我哥哥每天都刮臉�！�
Henry: "My brother shaves fifty times a day."
亨利：“我哥哥每天刮50次臉�！�
Harry: "Is he crazy?"
哈里：“他瘋了嗎?”
Henry: "No, he's a barber."
亨利：“沒(méi)有，他是一名理發(fā)師�！�
年少無(wú)知
Jimmy is three years old.
吉米3歲了。
One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"
一天，他正在窗口觀望，夜幕降臨。他突然喊道：“媽媽?zhuān)瑡寢專(zhuān)靵?lái)關(guān)窗!”
"Why? It's not cold, sonny."
“為什么?天不冷呀，寶貝。”
"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."
“是的，媽媽?zhuān)珊谝箷?huì)進(jìn)來(lái)。”
快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
在休倫湖釣完魚(yú)后，我的一個(gè)朋友開(kāi)車(chē)拖著他的船回家。路上車(chē)壞了。 他沒(méi)帶手機(jī)，不過(guò)，他想，也許他可以通過(guò)海事無(wú)線廣播來(lái)請(qǐng)求公路援助。 于是，他爬到他的船里面，啟動(dòng)了無(wú)線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸護(hù)衛(wèi)隊(duì)警官作出了回應(yīng)，“報(bào)告你的位置”�！癐-75號(hào)公路，Standish的南面兩英里”。沉默了好一會(huì)之后，警官問(wèn)我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時(shí)開(kāi)得有多快?”
冰箱里的小兔子
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.
一位女士打開(kāi)冰箱門(mén)，發(fā)現(xiàn)一只兔子坐在其中的一層隔板上，就問(wèn)它：“你在那里做什么?”
The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"
兔子回答：“這是Westinghouse對(duì)不對(duì)?”(Westinghouse，西屋電氣公司)
The lady confirmed, "Yes."
女士確認(rèn)道：“沒(méi)錯(cuò)。”
"Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."
兔子說(shuō)：“那就對(duì)了，我就是要往西邊去�！�
Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?
兔子：你確信這瓶特制胡蘿卜汁能治好我的病?
Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
醫(yī)生：當(dāng)然咯，凡是喝過(guò)的兔子沒(méi)有一只來(lái)要第二瓶的。
Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from?
兔寶寶：媽咪，我是從哪兒來(lái)的呢?
Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you're older.
兔媽媽?zhuān)旱饶汩L(zhǎng)大點(diǎn)再告訴你。
Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now.
兔寶寶：噢媽咪，現(xiàn)在就告訴我吧，求您了。
Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat.
兔媽媽?zhuān)喝绻阋欢ㄒ�，那我告訴你你是從魔術(shù)師的帽子里被拽出來(lái)的。
我們分享一切
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.
一對(duì)老夫婦在漢堡王餐廳吃飯，他們小心翼翼地將漢堡和薯?xiàng)l分成兩份。
A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.
一個(gè)卡車(chē)司機(jī)非常同情他們，就提議想給老太太單獨(dú)點(diǎn)一份。
"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."
“沒(méi)關(guān)系的�！崩舷壬f(shuō)，“我們分享一切�！�
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.
幾分鐘后，卡車(chē)司機(jī)注意到老太太還沒(méi)動(dòng)口吃一點(diǎn)東西。
"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.
他再次對(duì)老先生說(shuō)，“我真的不介意請(qǐng)您妻子吃一頓……”
"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."
“她會(huì)吃的，”老先生向他保證，“我們分享一切�！�
Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"
司機(jī)不太相信，懇求老太太，“你為什么不吃一點(diǎn)?”
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的假牙�！�
I Am Going to Shop 我要去購(gòu)物啦
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
我?guī)蛠?lái)購(gòu)物的女士包好東西后，問(wèn)道：“是付現(xiàn)金、支票還是記賬呢?” 當(dāng)她找錢(qián)包的時(shí)候，我注意到她的包包里竟放著一個(gè)電視遙控器。
“Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
我問(wèn)：“你一直都隨身帶電視遙控器的嗎?”
“No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.”
她回答說(shuō)：“不是啦。但我老公不樂(lè)意跟我一起來(lái)購(gòu)物，所以我決定拿走他的遙控器來(lái)懲罰他。”
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話對(duì)話2
Clever Bobby
聰明的博比
Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.
布朗非常欣賞他的小兒子。一次他和一位客人聊他的兒子有多聰明。 布朗說(shuō)：“他只有兩歲，就認(rèn)識(shí)所有的動(dòng)物了。他長(zhǎng)大一定會(huì)是一個(gè)出色的自然學(xué)家。來(lái)，我讓你看看�！�
"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."
布朗說(shuō)：“他只有兩歲，就認(rèn)識(shí)所有的動(dòng)物了。他長(zhǎng)大一定會(huì)是一個(gè)出色的自然學(xué)家。來(lái)，我讓你看看�！�
He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe(長(zhǎng)頸鹿).
他從書(shū)架上拿下一本自然書(shū)，把博比抱到膝上，打開(kāi)書(shū)。指著一張長(zhǎng)頸鹿的畫(huà)片。
"What's that, Bobby?"
“博比，這是什么?”
"Horsey," said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"
“馬馬，”博比回答。 他又指了一張老虎的畫(huà)片，博比回答說(shuō)：“貓咪�！� 然后布朗又指了一張獅子的畫(huà)片，博比說(shuō)：“狗狗�！� 他又指了一張黑猩猩的畫(huà)片，博比說(shuō)：“爸爸!”
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話對(duì)話3
A school report
學(xué)校成績(jī)單
The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(憤怒的) as he read,
父親在看他那滿懷希望的兒子帶回來(lái)的學(xué)校成績(jī)單。他邊看邊露出憤怒的表情：
"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).
“英語(yǔ)，差;法語(yǔ)，差;數(shù)學(xué)，中。”他厭惡地瞥了在發(fā)抖的兒子一眼。
"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."
“爸爸，”兒子說(shuō)，“可能成績(jī)不夠理想。但您看到那一項(xiàng)了嗎?”他指了指下一行：“健康狀況，優(yōu)�！�
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話對(duì)話4
A Smart Parrot
聰明的鸚鵡
A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.
有個(gè)人去寵物店買(mǎi)鸚鵡。在那里，他看見(jiàn)有只鸚鵡的左腿被紅線系住，右腿則被綠線系住。對(duì)此他感到不解，于是他問(wèn)該店的`老板，老板回答說(shuō)：“這只鸚鵡受過(guò)特殊的訓(xùn)練。如果拉紅線，它就講法語(yǔ)，拉綠線，它則講德語(yǔ)。”
"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.
這個(gè)好奇的人接著問(wèn)，“要是我兩條線都拉，會(huì)怎么樣呢?”
"I fall off my perch2 you fool!!" screeches3 the parrot.
“我就會(huì)掉下來(lái)了，你這個(gè)傻瓜!!”鸚鵡尖叫著說(shuō)。
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話對(duì)話5
Two sisters were looking at a book of religious pictures and came across a painting of theVirgin and the baby Jesus.
姐妹倆在看一本宗教畫(huà)冊(cè)時(shí)，剛好看到一幅圣母瑪利亞和圣嬰耶穌的圖畫(huà)。
"See there," said the older sister, "that's Jesus, and that's his mother."
姐姐說(shuō)：“瞧，這是耶穌，這是他的媽媽�！�
"Where's his dad?" the younger girl wanted to know.
“他的爸爸在哪里?”妹妹想知道。
Her sister thought for a moment and explained, "Oh, he's taking the picture."
姐姐想了一會(huì)兒，解釋道：“噢，他正在拍照。”
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話對(duì)話6
Two boys are talking about the sun and the moon. "Which one of them is more useful?" asked one of them.
兩個(gè)男孩在談?wù)撎?yáng)和月亮�！八鼈冎心膫�(gè)更有用?”其中一個(gè)問(wèn)道。
"Of course the moon is. The moon is in the sky when it's dark, but the sun is in the sky in the daytime when nobody needs it."
“當(dāng)然是月亮。月亮在天黑時(shí)掛在天空，但太陽(yáng)是在白天誰(shuí)也不需要它時(shí)掛在天空�！�
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話對(duì)話7
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest boy and returned to her.
一位女士圣誕節(jié)購(gòu)物時(shí)丟了錢(qián)包。一個(gè)誠(chéng)實(shí)的小男孩撿到了錢(qián)包，還給了她。
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm...that's funny. When I lost my purse there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
她看了看錢(qián)包，說(shuō)：“嗯……真有趣。我丟錢(qián)包時(shí)，里面有一張20元的鈔票�，F(xiàn)在卻有20張一元的鈔票。”
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
那個(gè)男孩馬上回答說(shuō)：“沒(méi)錯(cuò)，太太。上次我撿到一位女士的錢(qián)包，她沒(méi)有零錢(qián)酬謝。”
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話對(duì)話8
"I'm going to draw a picture of God," a four-year-old girl said to her teacher.
一個(gè)4歲的女孩對(duì)老師說(shuō)：“我要畫(huà)一幅上帝的畫(huà)像�！�
"But nobody knows what God looks like," the teacher said.
老師說(shuō)：“可誰(shuí)也不知道上帝長(zhǎng)什么模樣�！�
"They will know when I've finished," came the reply.
“等我畫(huà)好后，他們就會(huì)知道的�！靶∨⒒卮鹫f(shuō)。
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