六則幽默英語笑話

　　1.Two Birds

　　Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

　　Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

　　Teacher: Please tell us.

　　Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

　　兩只鳥

　　老師：這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎?

　　學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

　　老師：請說說看。

　　學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。

　　2.The Fish Net

　　"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

　　"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

　　魚網

　　“你能告訴我魚網是什么做的嗎，安?”老師發(fā)問道。

　　“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。”小女孩回答道。

　　3.The New Teacher

　　George comes from school on the first of September.

　　"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

　　"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said

　　that two and four were six too....."

　　新老師

　　9月1日，喬治放學回到家里。“喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?” 媽媽問。

　　“媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可后來又說2加4也得6。”

　　4.A physics Examination

　　Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

　　一次物理考試

　　在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。

　　這個問題是：為什么在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲?

　　尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

　　5.Present for Girlfriend

　　At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.

　　The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."

　　送給女友的禮物

　　在一家珠寶店里，一位年輕人買了一個貴重的小金盒作為送給女友的禮物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面嗎?”珠寶商問道。

　　那名顧客想了一會兒，然后說道：“不--在上面刻‘給我唯一的愛’。這樣，如果我們鬧崩了，我還可以再用到它。”

　　6.Be Careful What You Wish For

　　A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

　　During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

　　The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

　　Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

　　The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.

　　慎重許愿

　　一對結婚25周年的夫妻在慶祝他們六十歲的生日。他們恰好在同一天出生。

　　慶祝活動中，一位仙女出現了。她說，由于他們是已經結婚25年的恩愛夫妻，因此她給許給這對夫妻每個人一個愿望。

　　妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一聲，她的手中出現了一張票。

　　接下來該丈夫許愿了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說，“那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人。”

　　仙女拾起了魔術棒。“呯!”，他變成了90歲。