經(jīng)典英語笑話匯集

　　小心有狗!

　　As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

　　一名陌生人走進一家鄉(xiāng)間小商店，看到玻璃門上帖著的一個告示牌上寫著，“危險! 小心有狗!” 進去后，他看到一條樣子一點都不兇的老狗趴在收款機旁邊的地板上睡覺。 “這就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人問店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。 聽到這個回答， 陌生人覺得很好笑。“我覺得那條狗一點都不可怕。 你帖那個告示做什么?” “因為，” 店主解釋說，“在我帖告示之前， 大伙老被他絆倒。”

　　最希望得到的簽名

　　Our university newspaper runs a weekly question feature. Recently, the question was: "Whose autograph would you most want to have, and why?" As expected, most responses mentioned music or sports stars, or politicians. The best response came from a freshman, who said, "The person who signs my diploma."

　　我們大學的`校報開辦了一個每周一問的專欄。上周的問題是：“你最想要什么人的簽名?為什么?”和預計的一樣，大部分的回答都是歌星、體育明星或者政治家。但是，最優(yōu)秀的答案來自一個一年級新生，他說：“在我畢業(yè)證上簽字的那個人。”

　　動機

　　My English professor once launched into a lecture on "motivation." "What pushes you ahead?" he asked. "What is it that makes you go to school each day? What driving force makes you strive to accomplish?" Turning suddenly to one young woman, he demanded: "What makes you get out of bed in the morning?" The student replied: "My mother."

　　我們英文課的教授有一次在課上講“動機”。“是什么推動你在人生的路上向前走?”他問道，“是什么讓你每天上學來?又是什么驅使你追求成功?”沖著一個女學生，他問：“是什么讓你早晨從床上爬起來的呢?”學生答道：“我媽媽。”

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