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最新英語(yǔ)笑話集中營(yíng)
兄弟倆的對(duì)話 Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父親在哪兒?
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說(shuō)，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟說(shuō)道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”
哥哥想了會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫這些畫唄。”
汽車配件 Automobile Fittings
A lorry driver makes inquiry of a mountaineer, "Excuse me, where can I buy the auto accessories(附件) in the neighborhood?"
Mountaineer says, "Some people usually drive heroic car on the road. There is a abrupt turn(急轉(zhuǎn)彎) ahead not far from here, and a clough(深谷) just below it, where you can find all kinds of the auto accessories. You will spend no money at all."
一個(gè)卡車司機(jī)向一山民打聽：“請(qǐng)問(wèn)，這附近哪兒能買到汽車配件?”
山民說(shuō)：“這條路上經(jīng)常有人開英雄車，前面不遠(yuǎn)處是個(gè)急轉(zhuǎn)彎，急轉(zhuǎn)彎的下面就是深谷，那深谷里什么樣的汽車配件都有——根本用不著花錢。”
The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."
"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一個(gè)男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進(jìn)了醫(yī)院。他的妻子站在他的床前對(duì)醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“我想他傷得很厲害。”
醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“恐怕他已經(jīng)死了。”
聽到醫(yī)生的話，這個(gè)男人轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)著頭說(shuō)：“我沒(méi)死，我還活著。”
妻子說(shuō)：“安靜，醫(yī)生比你懂得多。”
奇猜異想
Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.
One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"
我們的物理教授千方百計(jì)引導(dǎo)我們討論阿基米德的排水原理。他告訴我們阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他進(jìn)入池子，發(fā)現(xiàn)水漲高了，溢出池沿。他對(duì)這一發(fā)現(xiàn)十分激動(dòng)，跑到街上高叫：“Eureka，Eureka!”教授問(wèn)我們誰(shuí)知道他喊的是什么意思。
一個(gè)學(xué)生站起來(lái)答道：“我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!”
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