2015最搞笑的英語笑話匯集

　　Intelligent son 聰明的兒子

　　One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.

　　After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"

　　"Certainly"

　　"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"

　　"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."

　　"Then why you didn't take it back?"

　　"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"

　　有一天,父親讓八歲的兒子去寄一封信,兒子已經(jīng)拿著信跑了,父親才想起信封上沒寫地址和收信人的名字。

　　兒子回來后,父親問他:“你把信丟進郵筒了嗎?” “當然”“你沒看見信封上沒有寫地址和收信人名字嗎?”

　　“我當然看見信封上什么也沒寫”“那你為什么不拿回來呢?”

　　“我還以為你不寫地址和收信人,是為了不想讓我知道你把信寄給誰呢!”

　　我希望您的面包病好了

　　I was making rolls and, needing a warm place for the dough to rise, put the bowl in a heating pad. Then I left the house on an errand(使命，差事) . When I came back, I found this note from my son: "Dear Mom, I hope your bread gets better."

　　我在做面包，需要把面團放在一個暖和點的地方使它發(fā)起來。我把面盆放在電熱褥里，后來就出去干別的活去了。等我回家時，發(fā)現(xiàn)兒子留下一張紙條，上面寫著：“親愛的媽媽，我希望您的面包已經(jīng)病好了。”

　　A Present 凱特的禮物

　　Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?

　　Mom: No, Honey, what?

　　Kate: A nice teapot.

　　Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.

　　Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.

　　凱特：媽媽，你知道我要給你一件什么生日禮物嗎?

　　媽媽：不知道，寶貝，是什么呀?

　　凱特：一把漂亮的茶壺。

　　媽媽：可是我已經(jīng)有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。

　　凱特：不，你沒有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。

　　Put your feet in把腳放進去

　　The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle ,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary !" called the teacher sharply. "Yes,Madam?" questioned the pupil , "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"

　　一個女學(xué)生坐在座位上，嘴里起勁地嚼著口香糖，腳卻伸到課桌間的走道里，被老師發(fā)現(xiàn)了。“瑪麗!”老師嚴厲地叫她。“什么事，老師?”這女學(xué)生問。“把口香糖從嘴里拿出來，把腳放進去。”

　　他的耳朵在我衣兜里

　　Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

　　"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

　　"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

　　"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

　　伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發(fā)生了什么事?”

　　“一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。

　　“再見到他你能認出來嗎?”媽媽問。

　　“他走到哪里我都能認出他，”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”

　　愚蠢的問題Stupid Question

　　Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"

　　After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.

　　“Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily.

　　But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?”

　　丹在一個大城市的某個俱樂部當守門人。每天都有數(shù)千人經(jīng)過他的門口，而且許多人都會停下來問他:“請問現(xiàn)在幾點?”

　　幾個月后，丹想:“我不想再回答這些蠢人提出的問題了，我要去買一只大鐘，把它掛在這兒的墻上。”于是他買了一只鐘，把它掛在了墻上。

　　“現(xiàn)在人們總不會再停下來問我時間了。”他高興地想。

　　可是打那以后，每天仍有許多人停下來，看看鐘，然后問丹:“這鐘準嗎?”

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