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最有英式風(fēng)味的英語笑話
捎杯牛奶
At 2 a. m, Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living, room. "Tiptoe down-stairs," she told her husband. "Don' t turn on the lights. Sneak up him before he knows what's happening
Dutifully Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door, his wife added, "And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk."
半夜兩點(diǎn)，科爾肯太太確信聽到客廳有賊，便對丈夫說：“別開燈，躡手躡腳下樓，別讓賊發(fā)覺，悄悄靠近他。”
科爾肯先生披上外套，責(zé)無旁貸地去捉賊。剛走到臥室門口，他妻子又補(bǔ)充說：“回來時給我捎杯牛奶。”
Way of Inducing 招客有方
At the cleaner's, I noticed the sign "In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 p. m. " so I told the owner that I wanted to pick my clothing up at five. "it won't be ready," he said.
"But your sign says, 'In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 p. m.'," I reminded him.
"Oh," he replied, "that means me.
在洗衣店，我看到招牌上寫著：“上午10點(diǎn)進(jìn)，下午5點(diǎn)出。”因此我就告訴店主我想在下午5點(diǎn)取衣。“下午5點(diǎn)還不能取，”他說。 “但是你的牌子上寫著：‘上午10點(diǎn)進(jìn)，下午5點(diǎn)出’，”我提醒他說。
“哦，”他回答說，“那指的是我。”
What Was It She Wanted?
A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.“No，ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon.” Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，“Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week.” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：“Never， never， never say we are out of anything—say we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?” “Rain.” said the clerk.
一個商店經(jīng)理聽見一個店員對顧客說：“不，夫人，這會兒沒有，一時半會兒看來也不會有。”經(jīng)理驚恐萬分地跑到顧客跟前說：“當(dāng)然，馬上就會有的。我們上周訂了貨。”然后經(jīng)理把店員拉到一邊：“千萬，千萬，千萬不要說我們沒有什么——說我們已經(jīng)訂了貨，貨馬上就到�，F(xiàn)在你說她要買什么?” “雨，”店員說。
Where It Should Be Plugged
A mother is very good at using every chance to educate his son, who was only three years old. One day, she took a plug and said to her son, " Look, there are two pieces of copper, so it must be plugged in a place where there are two holes. Where do you think it should be plugged?" She waited for an answer expectfully .
"Plug in nose." is the answer.
一位母親十分善于利用每一個機(jī)會對孩子進(jìn)行教育。她的兒子只有三歲。一天，她拿著一個插頭對兒子說：“看，這里有兩個銅片，那它一定要插在有兩個孔的地方。你說它應(yīng)該插在哪兒呢?”母親期待著兒子的回答。
“插在鼻子里!”兒子回答說。
One Engine Left
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result." Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late." At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"
一架747客機(jī)正在跨越大西洋時，喇叭里傳來了機(jī)長的聲音：“旅客們請注意，我們的四個引擎中有一個丟失了。但剩下的三個引擎會把我們帶到倫敦的。只是我們要因此晚到一小時 。” 過了一會兒，旅客們又聽到機(jī)長的聲音：“各位，你們猜怎么啦 ?我們剛又掉了第三個引擎。但請你們相信好了。只有一個引擎我們也能飛，但要晚三個小時了。” 正在這時，一位乘客非常氣憤地說：“看在上帝的份上，如果我們再掉一個引擎，我們就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”
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