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笑得肚子疼得英語笑話
在日常生活或是工作學(xué)習(xí)中，大家一定都或多或少地聽過笑話，下面是小編為大家收集的有關(guān)笑得肚子疼得英語笑話相關(guān)內(nèi)容，僅供參考，希望能夠幫助到大家。
笑得肚子疼得英語笑話 1
1、Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?
Tom: Every month.
爸爸：告訴我湯姆，哪個(gè)月有28天呢?
湯姆：每個(gè)月都有啊!
2、Boy: Hi, didnt we go on dates before? Onec or twice?
Girl: Mustve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
男孩：嗨，我們之前是不是約會(huì)過，是一次還是兩次，我忘記了。
女孩：應(yīng)該只有一次吧，我從不犯兩次同樣的錯(cuò)誤。
3、In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"
"To be deaf," replied the boy.
"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.
"Why, sir! Dont you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
在一次音樂學(xué)院的入學(xué)考試中，老師問其中一個(gè)男孩："音樂家最重要的生理素質(zhì)是什么?"
"耳聾，"男孩答道。
"胡說!"老師氣憤地說。
"怎么了，先生!難道您不知道大名鼎鼎的.音樂家貝多芬是個(gè)聾子嗎?"男孩輕蔑地反問道。
4、If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself。
日本旅館：如果您想調(diào)節(jié)您房間的溫度，請控制您自己。
5、Please dont feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty。
匈牙利動(dòng)物園：請不要給動(dòng)物喂食。如果您有食品，請喂給值班警衛(wèi)。
6、Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar。
挪威酒吧：女士們不要在酒吧里生孩子。
7、Fur coats made for ladies from their skins。
瑞典皮貨商店：為女士們制作的皮大衣，是用她們的皮制成的。
8、Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists 。
香港牙科診所：由最新的衛(wèi)理公會(huì)教徒給您拔牙。
9、Drop your trousers here for best results。
泰國的干洗店：在這里脫掉您的褲子，等待最好的結(jié)果。
10、Specialist in women and other diseases。
意大利婦科診所：我們是women和其他疾病的專家。
11、Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday。
俄國公墓：歡迎訪問這個(gè)公墓，許多著名的俄國藝術(shù)家每天埋在這里，但星期四不埋。
12、We take your bags and send them in all directions。
丹麥機(jī)場：我們將拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。
13、The manager has personally passed all water served here。
墨西哥旅館：旅館經(jīng)理將親自為您撒尿。
笑得肚子疼得英語笑話 2
情人來電
a man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
"what was that for?", the man asked.
一個(gè)男人坐在那兒看報(bào)紙,他的老婆用煎鍋打他的頭。
"那是為什么?",那人問道。
the wife replied, "that was for the piece of paper with the name jenny on it that i found in your pants pocket".
the man said, "when i was at the races last week, jenny was the name of the horse i bet on."
the wife apologized and went on with the housework.
妻子回答說,"這張紙上寫的名字珍妮,我在你的褲子口袋里發(fā)現(xiàn)的"。
那人說:"我上周看比賽,珍妮是我下注的那匹馬的名字。"
妻子道歉,繼續(xù)做家務(wù)。
three days later the man is watching tv when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit him again.
she replied "your horse just phoned you".
三天后，他正在看電視,他老婆用比上次大得多的`煎鍋打他的頭,他頓時(shí)失去知覺。
等男人恢復(fù)了意識，問他老婆為什么打他了。
她回答說:"你的馬打電話給你"。
笑得肚子疼得英語笑話 3
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"Youre a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？”
“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢�？赡銥槭裁磳δ俏焕咸敲锤信d趣呢？”
“她是個(gè)賣糖果的'�！�
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I see the bird, ma am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, maam, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
鳥窩與頭發(fā)
我姐姐是一位小學(xué)老師。一次一個(gè)學(xué)生告訴她說一只鳥兒在教室外 的樹上壘了個(gè)窩。
“是什么鳥呢？”我姐姐問她。
“我沒看到鳥兒，老師，只看到鳥窩�！蹦呛⒆踊卮鹫f。
“那么，你能給我們描述一下這個(gè)鳥巢嗎？”我姐姐鼓勵(lì)她道。
“哦，老師，就像你的頭發(fā)一樣。”
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