最好看最搞笑的英語短篇笑話

時間：2020-10-09 18:00:35 英語笑話我要投稿

最好看最搞笑的英語短篇笑話

　　The Three Stages of Man男性成長三階段

最好看最搞笑的英語短篇笑話

　　He believes in Santa Claus.

　　He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.

　　He is Santa Claus!

　　相信圣誕老人的存在。

　　不相信圣誕老人的存在。

　　自己是個圣誕老人!

　　Motivation 動機(jī)

　　MY ENGLISH PROFESSOR once launched into a lecture on "motivation." "What pushes you ahead?" he asked. "What is it that makes you go to school each day? What driving force makes you strive to accomplish?" Turning suddenly to one young woman, he demanded: "What makes you get out of bed in the morning?" The student replied: "My mother."

　　我們英文課的教授有一次在課上講“動機(jī)”。“是什么推動你在人生的路上向前走?”他問道，“是什么讓你每天上學(xué)來?又是什么驅(qū)使你追求成功?”沖著一個女學(xué)生，他問：“是什么讓你早晨從床上爬起來的呢?”學(xué)生答道：“我媽媽。”

　　Mental deficiency 智力缺陷

　　"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked ..."how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." " Well, What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

　　“醫(yī)生，你能不能告訴我，”鮑勃問，“對于一個看上去很正常的人，你是怎樣判斷出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再沒有比這容易的了，”醫(yī)生回答，“問他一個簡單的問題，簡單到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。”“那要問什么樣的問題呢?”“嗯，你可以這樣問，‘庫克船長環(huán)球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢?’”鮑勃想了一會兒，緊張的.回答道，“你就不能問另外一個問題嗎?坦率地說，我對歷史了解的不是很多。”

　　Beware of Dog! 小心有狗

　　As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

　　一名陌生人走進(jìn)一家鄉(xiāng)間小商店，看到玻璃門上帖著的一個告示牌上寫著，“危險! 小心有狗!” 進(jìn)去后，他看到一條樣子一點都不兇的老狗趴在收款機(jī)旁邊的地板上睡覺。 “這就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人問店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。聽到這個回答，陌生人覺得很好笑。“我覺得那條狗一點都不可怕。你帖那個告示做什么?” “因為，” 店主解釋說，“在我帖告示之前，大伙老被他絆倒。”

　　冰箱里的小兔子

　　A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.

　　一位女士打開冰箱門，發(fā)現(xiàn)一只兔子坐在其中的一層隔板上，就問它：“你在那里做什么?”

　　The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"

　　兔子回答：“這是Westinghouse對不對?”(Westinghouse，西屋電氣公司)

　　The lady confirmed, "Yes."

　　女士確認(rèn)道：“沒錯。”

　　"Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."

　　兔子說：“那就對了，我就是要往西邊去。”

　　Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?

　　兔子：你確信這瓶特制胡蘿卜汁能治好我的病?

　　Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.