經(jīng)典小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話故事
咒語(yǔ)
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
一個(gè)男人找到一個(gè)巫婆，要求她解開(kāi)一條困擾了自己40年的咒語(yǔ)。
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
巫婆說(shuō)："或許我可以做的到，但你必須一字不落地告訴我下咒的時(shí)候說(shuō)的那句咒語(yǔ)。"
The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife."
男人毫不猶豫的答道：“‘我現(xiàn)在宣布你們成為夫婦。’”
世界各地的蹩腳英語(yǔ)
�、買(mǎi)f you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself。
日本旅館：如果您想調(diào)節(jié)您房間的溫度，請(qǐng)控制您自己。
�、赑lease don't feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty。
匈牙利動(dòng)物園：請(qǐng)不要給動(dòng)物喂食。如果您有食品，請(qǐng)喂給值班警衛(wèi)。
�、跮adies are requested not to have children in the bar。
挪威酒吧：女士們不要在酒吧里生孩子。
�、蹻ur coats made for ladies from their skins。
瑞典皮貨商店：為女士們制作的皮大衣，是用她們的皮制成的。
⑤Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists 。
香港牙科診所：由最新的衛(wèi)理公會(huì)教徒給您拔牙。
�、轉(zhuǎn)rop your trousers here for best results。
泰國(guó)的干洗店：在這里脫掉您的褲子，等待最好的結(jié)果。
�、逽pecialist in women and other diseases。
意大利婦科診所：我們是women和其他疾病的`專家。
�、郬elcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday。
俄國(guó)公墓：歡迎訪問(wèn)這個(gè)公墓，許多著名的俄國(guó)藝術(shù)家每天埋在這里，但星期四不埋。
�、醀e take your bags and send them in all directions。
丹麥機(jī)場(chǎng)：我們將拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。
�、釺he manager has personally passed all water served here。
墨西哥旅館：旅館經(jīng)理將親自為您撒尿。
送出去還有的東西
What can Santa give away and still keep?
Answer: a cold.
什么東西圣誕老人可以分送出去，自己卻也還留著?
答案：感冒。
圣誕老人的愛(ài)好
What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.
圣誕老人喜歡在花園里做什么?
答案：鋤地。(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是鋤草之意，ho則是圣誕老人的笑聲。)
鉛筆
What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?
Answer: use a pen.
若圣誕老人的馴鹿吃掉你的鉛筆該怎么辦?
答案：用原子筆
1000元的腦筋急轉(zhuǎn)彎
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.
Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
圣誕節(jié)前夕，圣誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高級(jí)飯店一同等電梯，門(mén)還未開(kāi)前，三人同時(shí)看到地上有一張新臺(tái)幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰(shuí)會(huì)將它撿起?
Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
答案：當(dāng)然是圣誕老人啦!為什么?因?yàn)榇蠹叶贾懒硗鈨烧卟⒉淮嬖凇?/p>
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