看笑話學(xué)英語(yǔ)
英語(yǔ)笑話(一)Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子會(huì)和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能會(huì)直接的想到它們倆是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以長(zhǎng)跳蚤，而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。這個(gè)答案很有意思吧?
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了農(nóng)夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定會(huì)生氣的;而如果你踩了農(nóng)夫腳底的雞眼，他會(huì)更生氣。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“雞眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因?yàn)閟nail(蝸牛)的后背上總是背著一所房子，所以說(shuō)蝸牛是世界上最強(qiáng)壯的生物是不足為奇的。你說(shuō)呢?
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces這個(gè)短語(yǔ)，你可千萬(wàn)別以為是在鐘表廠工作的人整天都做鬼臉呀!因?yàn)槌诉@個(gè)意思以外，它還可以從字面上解釋為制造鐘面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎樣才能不讓夢(mèng)游者(sleepwalker)夢(mèng)游(walk in his sleep)呢?最簡(jiǎn)單的方法就是不讓他睡覺(jué)。雖然這不是治療方法，但如果讓夢(mèng)游者醒著呢，他的.確就不會(huì)去夢(mèng)游了。
英語(yǔ)笑話(二)
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一個(gè)大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。
-- 他真是一個(gè)大人物。干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
英語(yǔ)笑話(三)
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的
一位中國(guó)老婦人在美國(guó)看望女兒回來(lái)不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺(tái)，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實(shí)在忍耐不住說(shuō)：“相信我，先生，也請(qǐng)你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的。”
英語(yǔ)笑話(四)
my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不識(shí)字
布朗夫人：哦，
親愛(ài)的，我把珍愛(ài)的小狗給丟了!
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報(bào)紙上登廣告啊!
布朗夫人：沒(méi)有用的，我的小狗不認(rèn)識(shí)字。”
英語(yǔ)笑話(五)
Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
給我那個(gè)打贏的吧
-- 服務(wù)員，
這個(gè)龍蝦只有一只爪。
-- 對(duì)不起，先生，這只肯定打過(guò)架了。
-- 哦， 那給我那個(gè)打贏的吧。
英語(yǔ)笑話(六)
The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝嗇鬼請(qǐng)客
一個(gè)出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，找中間那個(gè)門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開(kāi)了之后，再用你的腳把門推開(kāi)。”
“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧?”吝嗇鬼回答。
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