讓人捧腹大笑的英語小笑話

時(shí)間：2021-03-31 15:05:28 英語笑話我要投稿

讓人捧腹大笑的英語小笑話

　　笑話是一個漢語詞匯，拼音是xiào hua，意思是引人發(fā)笑的話或事情。以下是小編精心整理的讓人捧腹大笑的英語小笑話，歡迎大家借鑒與參考，希望對大家有所幫助。

讓人捧腹大笑的英語小笑話

　　讓人捧腹大笑的英語小笑話1

　　"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmothers funeral, she stopped in to see you.

　　“你相信人能死后重生嗎?”老板問他的一個員工。 “我相信，先生”。這位剛上班不久的員工回答。 “哦，那還好”。老板接著說。 “你昨天提早下班去參加你祖母的葬禮后，她老人家到這兒看你來了�！�

　　讓人捧腹大笑的英語小笑話2

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "Ive got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think theres somebody under it. Im going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and Ill cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "Ill sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didnt you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Aint nobody under there now!"

　　杰瑞去看精神病醫(yī)生。“醫(yī)生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時(shí)候，我都感覺有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時(shí)間，”醫(yī)生說，“每周來三次，我會治好你。”“費(fèi)用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認(rèn)真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。六個月后醫(yī)生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“為什么你再也沒來呢?”醫(yī)生問�！耙淮我话賶K錢嗎?有個酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢就把我治好了�！薄罢娴�?他怎么做到的?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉�，F(xiàn)在那沒人了!”

　　讓人捧腹大笑的英語小笑話3

　　I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packards DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldnt solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges， and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"

　　我在惠普公司打印機(jī)部做技術(shù)支持工作已經(jīng)有一個月了，有一天我接到一位客戶的電話，她的問題我沒辦法解決。她的問題是：打印機(jī)不能打出來黃色，但是其它顏色都正常。這讓我覺得很納悶，因?yàn)槿褪撬{(lán)、紅、黃。我建議客戶更換墨盒、刪了驅(qū)動程序然后重新安裝，但是都沒有效果。我咨詢同事們，他們也不知道該怎么辦。經(jīng)過兩個多小時(shí)的交涉，我打算讓客戶把打印機(jī)寄給我們，這時(shí)候她平靜地說了一句：“我是不是應(yīng)該把這張黃紙扔了換一張白紙?jiān)俅蛴≡囋�。�?/p>

　　讓人捧腹大笑的英語小笑話4

　　A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.

　　一位女士打開冰箱門，發(fā)現(xiàn)一只兔子坐在其中的一層隔板上，就問它：“你在那里做什么?”

　　The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isnt it?"

　　兔子回答：“這是Westinghouse對不對?”(Westinghouse，西屋電氣公司)

　　The lady confirmed, "Yes."

　　女士確認(rèn)道：“沒錯。”

　　"Well," the rabbit said,"Im westing."

　　兔子說：“那就對了，我就是要往西邊去�！�

　　讓人捧腹大笑的英語小笑話5

　　"You cant imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

　　“你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個男人對他的朋友訴苦說，“她問我一個問題，然后自己回答了，過后又花半個小時(shí)跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯的。”

　　讓人捧腹大笑的英語小笑話6

　　Dentist: Im sorry, madam, but Ill have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your sons tooth.

　　Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

　　Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

　　牙科醫(yī)生：對不起，夫人，為給您的.兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

　　母親：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀?

　　牙科醫(yī)生：是的。但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了

　　讓人捧腹大笑的英語小笑話7

　　When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

　　"I wasnt asleep," the man answered.

　　"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

　　"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

　　當(dāng)一群婦女上車之后，車上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔(dān)心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒!”

　　“我沒有睡著�！蹦莻€男人回答。

　　“沒睡著?可是你眼睛都閉上了呀?”

　　“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。”

　　讓人捧腹大笑的英語小笑話8

　　"Larry! Come here!" said his furious mother, putting the telephone down, " I’ve just had a call 　　from Mrs. Harrison about your behavior to her Doris at the school dance last night. You wretched, rude boy!"

　　"I was nice to her, Mum, really I was!" protested the youth.

　　"I even paid her a compliment when we had a dance."

　　"Did you, indeed?" said his mother grimly, "And what exactly did you say?"

　　"I said, Gosh, Doris, you sweat less than any fat girl I’ve ever danced with!"

　　“拉里，你過來!”媽媽放下電話后生氣地說，“我剛才接到哈里森夫人地電話，她告訴我你在昨晚的學(xué)校舞會上對多麗絲行為不好，你可恥，粗魯!”

　　“媽媽，我對她很好，真的!”小伙子不服氣地說�！爱�(dāng)我和她跳舞時(shí)我還說了一句恭維她的話�！�

　　“你真的這么做的嗎?”媽媽嚴(yán)厲地問。“你的原話是怎么說的?”

　　“我說，啊呀，多麗絲，你比我跳過舞的`任何胖姑娘出汗都少!”

　　讓人捧腹大笑的英語小笑話9

　　A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?Please, teacher, said a small boy, Ive made someone glad yesterday.Well done. Who was that?My granny.Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, Im going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, Im glad’!

　　一個主日學(xué)校的老師正在對學(xué)生講使別人高興的重要性�，F(xiàn)在，孩子們，她說：你們當(dāng)中有誰讓別人高興過?我，老師，一個小男孩說：昨天我就使別人高興過。做得好，是誰呢?我奶奶。好孩子，現(xiàn)在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的。是這樣的，老師。我昨天去看她，在她那兒呆了三個小時(shí)。然后我跟她說：‘奶奶，我要回家了�！f：‘啊，我很高興!’