精選3個(gè)幽默英語(yǔ)笑話
英語(yǔ)小笑話:我干得怎么樣?
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner, people." A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner...NOW!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," chuckled the veteran policemen, "especially since this is a bus stop!"
一名新警察與老警察開著警車第一次出去巡邏。 他們得到命令去疏散一群閑逛的人，于是他們開車去了那條街，看到路口站著一群人。新警察搖下窗戶：“大家注意了，快離開這里。”人們看了他幾眼，沒理他。他喊起來(lái)：“離開這里，馬上離開!”大家都不知道怎么回事，但是在他的威脅下還是離開了。新警察對(duì)他第一次執(zhí)行公務(wù)的結(jié)果很滿意，對(duì)老警察說(shuō)：“我干得怎么樣?”“你做得很好，”老警察笑著說(shuō)，“尤其是在公共汽車站。”
英語(yǔ)小笑話:他什么都沒聽到
Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."
我在郵局上班，對(duì)于顧客們的各種情緒早已習(xí)以為常了。所以，有一天當(dāng)一個(gè)生氣的顧客氣沖沖地來(lái)到我的工作臺(tái)時(shí)，我還是非常平靜地問她，“有什么問題嗎?”“我早上上街了，”女顧客說(shuō)，“我回到家的時(shí)候，我看到一個(gè)卡片，卡片說(shuō)郵遞員要給我們家送包裹，但沒人在家。可是我的丈夫整個(gè)早上都在家啊。他說(shuō)他什么都沒聽到”。在表示了歉意之后，我把包裹給了她。“噢，太好了”，那位女顧客喜形于色。“我們等這東西都等多少年了!”“是什么好東西?”我問。“我丈夫的新助聽器”。
英語(yǔ)小笑話:輕率的插話
The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s. Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s. I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. "You'll never believe this one, " I told him." I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. " Before I could finish repeating her request, he interrupted and said, "Don't tell me she hasn't received them yet!"
我所工作的精品家具商店是從20世紀(jì)二十年代以來(lái)就營(yíng)業(yè)的。最近我接到一個(gè)婦女的電話。她想換一套餐具中的'一些椅子。這套餐具她是在三十年代從我們這兒買的。我向她保證說(shuō)我們可以幫她的忙，于是我向部門經(jīng)理尋求幫助。“你永遠(yuǎn)也不會(huì)相信，”我對(duì)他說(shuō)，“我剛接到一個(gè)顧客的電話，她在三十年代從我們這里買了一些椅子。” 我還沒來(lái)得及說(shuō)她的要求，經(jīng)理就打斷了我的話：“你別告訴我她到現(xiàn)在還沒收到貨!”
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