初一英語(yǔ)小笑話
1、A big battle was going on during the First World War.Guns were firing， and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere.After an hour of this， one of the soldiers decidedthat the fighting was getting too dangerous for him， so he leftthe front line and began to go away from the battle. After hehad walked for an hour，he saw an officer coming towardshim. The officer stopped him and said，“ where are you going?” “I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battlethat's going on behind us， sir，” the soldier answered. “Do you know who I am?” the officer said to him angrily.“I'm your commanding officer.” The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said，“My God，I didn't know that I was so far back already!”
第一次世界大戰(zhàn)期間，一場(chǎng)大戰(zhàn)役正在進(jìn)行。槍炮轟鳴，炮彈和子彈到處亂飛。這樣過(guò)了一個(gè)小時(shí)后，一個(gè)士兵認(rèn)定戰(zhàn)斗對(duì)他來(lái)說(shuō)變得太危險(xiǎn)了，所以他離開(kāi)前線開(kāi)始逃離戰(zhàn)場(chǎng)。步行了一個(gè)小時(shí)之后，他看見(jiàn)一個(gè)軍官向他走過(guò)來(lái)。那軍官叫住他說(shuō)：“你要到哪兒去?” “長(zhǎng)官，我正盡可能遠(yuǎn)地躲開(kāi)我們身后正在進(jìn)行的戰(zhàn)役，”士兵回答說(shuō)。 “你知道我是誰(shuí)嗎?”軍官生氣地對(duì)他說(shuō)：“我是你的指揮官。” 那士兵聽(tīng)到此話感到非常驚訝，說(shuō)：“天哪，我想不到我已經(jīng)往回跑了這么遠(yuǎn)了!”
2、Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."
因?yàn)槁眯型其N員為了謀生需要拜訪盡量多的客戶，所以超速飛車趕場(chǎng)對(duì)于他們來(lái)說(shuō)也不是沒(méi)有過(guò)的事情。有一次我就因?yàn)槌俣刃旭偙灰粋�(gè)公路巡警攔了下來(lái)。“你有沒(méi)有看過(guò)你的時(shí)速表?”那名警官責(zé)問(wèn)。當(dāng)我的回答一出口，我立刻后悔了，但已經(jīng)太晚了。“車開(kāi)得越來(lái)越快”，我如實(shí)地說(shuō)，“我的眼睛得一直盯著前面，沒(méi)敢看別的”。
3、A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.
Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.
Years later, he retires and turns the business over to his son."Dad, “says the son, there’s something I’ve got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?"
"Son”, the father replies, I painted the vase."
一個(gè)富有的主婦很是驕傲因?yàn)樗詹亓艘患浅Ｓ袃r(jià)值的'古董花瓶，于是她決定把臥室粉刷成與花瓶同樣的顏色。許多油漆匠都試圖盡力與花瓶的顏色匹配，但是沒(méi)有任何人能做得 讓那古怪的女人滿意的。
一個(gè)油漆匠很自信他能做到，最終他成功了。那個(gè)主婦很滿意，于是這個(gè)油漆匠也變得很出名。
多年以后，油漆匠要退休了，他把自己的生意交給兒子去經(jīng)營(yíng)。“爸爸”兒子問(wèn)“我還有些事情想知道，你怎么能把墻粉刷得和花瓶的顏色那么相配?”“兒子”爸爸回答到“我只不過(guò)是把花瓶刷了。”
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