爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯
1、Are you going to treat me?
An American actress came to China for the first time. One day when she was looking for her new Chinese friend after a performance, she came across an anxious Chinese who had always wanted to practice his English with native speakers, but had never found the chance. When he saw the actress, he went up and exchanged greetings, then started his practice.
“How old are you?”
“I’m sorry. Please don’t ask a lady about her age,” the actress said uneasily.
“How much do you earn each month?” the Chinese tried hard to recall this sentence from his textbook.
“Sorry again. We don’t feel like telling others about that either, “ she again refused to answer.
“Have you had lunch?” the Chinese tried again to show his traditional way of greeting.
“No, are you planning to treat me to a meal?’ she asked in surprise.
你要請客嗎?
有位美國女演員首次來中國演出，有一天演出結(jié)束后在找她的中國朋友時，碰見一位總想與老外練講英語的中國人，可惜他一直沒有這樣的機(jī)會。當(dāng)看到這位女演員時，他走上前去互相問候，接著便練起英語來。
“你多大啦?”
“對不起，請不要問女士的年齡，”演員感到很不自在。
“你每月掙多少錢?”中國人極力回憶著教科書上的句子。
“對不起，我們也不愿意把這事告訴給人家。”她再次拒絕了對方。
“你吃過飯了嗎?” 中國人再次用本民族的傳方式詢問對方。
“沒有，你要請我吃飯嗎?”她驚喜地問。
2、A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
The driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
乘客輕拍了一下出租車司機(jī)的肩膀,想問個問題. 司機(jī)大叫起來, 車也失去了控制, 幾乎撞上一輛公車, 還上了便道, 在還差幾厘米就撞上商店櫥窗時終于停了下來.
司機(jī)說,“伙計(jì),別再這么干了. 你把我嚇破膽了!”乘客抱歉地說, “我沒想到拍你一下就嚇成這樣.” 司機(jī)說,“對不起,也不全是你的錯. 今天是我第一天開出租. 以前25年里我一直開殯葬車.”
3、Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. Uh-oh, I said, realizing my mistake. I just make an illegal turn.I guess it's all right, my daughter replied, The police car behind us did the same thing.
我趕著開車將11歲的女兒送到學(xué)校去，在紅燈處右拐了，而那是不允許的(譯注:在一些國家如英國,其交通規(guī)則是車輛左行的,與我國相反)。啊噢，意識到犯了錯誤，我說。我剛才拐彎是違章的`。我想那沒關(guān)系的，女兒回答說：我們后面的警車也同樣拐了彎。
4、When his wife was expecting their third child, a father decided to tell his two sons, ages seven and nine, the facts of life. He checked out several books from the library on how parents should approach the subject. After stumbling through an explanation, he took a deep breath, and said, "Now, boys, do you have any questions?"
"Yes," the younger boy answered immediately.
"Go ahead," said the man, his heart in his throat.
"Can we," his son asked, "have new baseball gloves?"
當(dāng)妻子要生第三胎時，父親決定給分別已七歲和九歲的兩個兒子講關(guān)于性的知識。他從圖書館查出幾本書，都是關(guān)于父母如何涉及這個話題的。在結(jié)結(jié)巴巴地解釋一番后，他長出了一口氣，然后說：“好了，孩子們，有什么問題嗎?”
“有，”小兒子立即回答。 “問吧，”爸爸說，心提到了嗓子眼兒。
“我們，”兒子問道，“可以得到新棒球手套了嗎?”
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