圣誕節(jié)的英文笑話
Christmas Eve Service 平安夜禮拜
Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity in the church failed. The ushers and I found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary.
Then I reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, "Now, where was I?" A tired voice called out, "Right near the end!"
就在我開始平安夜禱告時,教堂停電了。教堂里的.接待人員和我找到一些蠟燭,把它們放在禮堂周圍。
然后我重返講道壇,整理了一下筆記后,我說:“剛才我講到哪兒了?”傳來一陣不耐煩的聲音:“馬上就講完了!”
Limited Knowledge 圣誕老人知識有限
As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate. "You can’t do that," argued my four-year-old. "Don’t worry. Santa will never know." He shot me a look. "So he knows if I’ve been bad or good, but he doesn’t know the cookie fell on the floor?"
平安夜那天,在我們分發(fā)餅干時,我一不小心掉了一塊到地上。“沒關系。”我一邊說,一邊撿起來,并在放回盤子前撣掉了上面的灰。“你不能那么做。”我四歲大的孩子爭論道。“別擔心,圣誕老人不會知道的。”他朝我瞟了一眼。“這就是說他知道我有沒有做壞事,而他不知道餅干掉在地上過?”
Good Lights 好燈
A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but—wanting to make sure each bulb worked—she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up. "Great," she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed. "I don’t want this box," she said abruptly. "It’s been opened."
一位顧客進我們的商店買圣誕燈。我給她看了我們店里最好的牌子,但還需確認一下燈泡是否正常。她讓我把燈泡從盒子里拿出來,然后通上電。我照做了。每一個燈泡都是正常的。她說:“非常好。”我小心翼翼地把這串圣誕燈放回盒子里?僧斘野堰@一盒燈泡交給她時,她吃驚地看著我,突然說:“我不要這一盒,它打開過的。”
聰明的老太太 The smart Old Lady
An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff?'
'Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.'
The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.'
'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.'
'It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five.'
一位耳聾并且總是嫌東西太貴的老太太走進一家商店。 她問店員:“這東西要多少錢?”
“七美元,太太,這是很便宜的。”
老太太說:“太貴了,十四美元差不多。”
店員忙說:“我沒說十七美元,是七美元。”
“還是太貴,”老太太說:“五美元,我就買啦。”
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