小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話大全
1.
hristmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
圣誕節(jié)前夕，圣誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的'律師在一家高級(jí)飯店一同等電梯，門還未開(kāi)前，三人同時(shí)看到地上有一張新臺(tái)幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰(shuí)會(huì)將它撿起?
答案：當(dāng)然是圣誕老人啦!為什么?因?yàn)榇蠹叶贾懒硗鈨烧卟⒉淮嬖凇?/p>
2.
The thief and the judge
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked。
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant。
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner。
法官與小偷
那天是圣誕節(jié)，法官在審訊犯人時(shí)也有點(diǎn)惻隱之心。“你為什么而被起訴?”他問(wèn)。
“采購(gòu)圣誕節(jié)物品過(guò)早。”被告答。
“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購(gòu)物多早?”
在商店開(kāi)門之前，“犯人應(yīng)道。
3.
A letter to her son
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home，so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last family that lived here took the numbers with them for their new house，so they wouldn't have to change their address. Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl. So don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle. It only
rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Love，Mum
寫給兒子的信
親愛(ài)的兒子:
我在慢慢地給你寫信，因?yàn)槲抑滥憧葱趴床豢臁Ｎ覀円呀?jīng)不住在你走的時(shí)候那個(gè)地方了。你爸爸看報(bào)紙上說(shuō)大多數(shù)交通事故都發(fā)生在離家20英里的距離內(nèi)，所以我們就搬家了。我現(xiàn)在不能告訴你我們的地址，因?yàn)樵瓉?lái)住在這里的那家把門牌號(hào)拿到他們的新家去了，這樣他們就不需要換地址了。今天早上你姐姐生了一個(gè)孩子。我還不知道是男孩還是女孩。所以也不知道你是當(dāng)了阿姨還是舅舅。這個(gè)星期只下了兩次雨，第一次下了三天，第二次下了四天。如果你收不到這封信，請(qǐng)你告訴我。我再給你寫一封。
愛(ài)你的媽媽
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