初中的英語(yǔ)笑話大全

　　1、

　　The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked.

　　"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied.

　　"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean.

　　"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it.

　　農(nóng)校的招生辦主任在面試一個(gè)上線的學(xué)生，“你為何要選擇這個(gè)職業(yè)?”他問(wèn)。 “我夢(mèng)想以經(jīng)營(yíng)農(nóng)場(chǎng)來(lái)賺一百萬(wàn)元，就像我父親一樣。”這個(gè)學(xué)生回答說(shuō)。 “你父親經(jīng)營(yíng)農(nóng)場(chǎng)賺了一百萬(wàn)元?”主任驚詫地問(wèn)道。

　　“沒(méi)有，”這位申請(qǐng)人回答道，“他總是夢(mèng)想著賺到這個(gè)數(shù)目。”

　　2.

　　A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.

　　The driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

　　乘客輕拍了一下出租車(chē)司機(jī)的肩膀,想問(wèn)個(gè)問(wèn)題. 司機(jī)大叫起來(lái), 車(chē)也失去了控制, 幾乎撞上一輛公車(chē), 還上了便道, 在還差幾厘米就撞上商店櫥窗時(shí)終于停了下來(lái).

　　司機(jī)說(shuō),“伙計(jì),別再這么干了. 你把我嚇破膽了!”乘客抱歉地說(shuō), “我沒(méi)想到拍你一下就嚇成這樣.” 司機(jī)說(shuō),“對(duì)不起,也不全是你的錯(cuò). 今天是我第一天開(kāi)出租. 以前25年里我一直開(kāi)殯葬車(chē).”

　　Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.

　　Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!

　　弗蘭克叔叔七十八歲了，富有而健康。他是個(gè)終生單身漢。他曾追求過(guò)很多女孩，但“從不過(guò)熱----見(jiàn)好就收”。一天他突發(fā)奇想，決定四處走走，去看看他那些接近一打的舊時(shí)女友。

　　他回來(lái)即嘆道：“噓!謝天謝地幸虧我沒(méi)娶那些女人中的任何一個(gè)。如今她們都成寡婦了!”

　　3.

　　A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head."

　　"Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes."

　　"Where is the shopping bag?"

　　"I haven't got one-use your hat."

　　一個(gè)小男孩向他母親哭訴道：“他們都取笑我，說(shuō)我腦袋大。” “別聽(tīng)他們的，”他母親安慰道，“你有一個(gè)很漂亮的腦袋。好啦，別哭了，去商店買(mǎi)十斤土豆來(lái)。”

　　“購(gòu)物袋在哪兒?”

　　“沒(méi)購(gòu)物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”

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