簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話短文（通用9篇）

　　笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡(jiǎn)單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點(diǎn)。以下是小編收集整理的簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話短文，歡迎大家分享。

　　簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話短文 篇1

　　A man wanted to buy an ass.He went to the market,and saw a likely one.But he wanted totest him first.So he took the ass home,and put him into the stable with the other asses.

　　The new ass looked around,and immediately went to choose a place next to the laziest ass in the stable.When the man saw this he put a halter on the ass at once,and gave him back to his owner.The owner felt quite surprised.He asked the man,"Why are you back so soon?Have you tested him already?" "I don't want to test him any more," replied the man,"From the companion he chose for himself,I could see what sort of animal he is."

　　簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話短文 篇2

　　Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted,"I am Napoleon!"

　　Another one said,"How do you know?"

　　The first inmate said,"God told me!"

　　Just then,a voice from another room shouted,"I did not!"

　　簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話短文 篇3

　　A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush.She watched the cat,and the cat watched the mice.

　　Mother mouse barked fiercely,"Woof,woof,woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.

　　Mother mouse turned to her babies and said,"Now,do you understand the value of a second language?"

　　簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話短文 篇4

　　unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. she put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. it read "thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

　　簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話短文 篇5

　　An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on the 30th floor of a building.

　　The Irishman opened his lunch box and said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."

　　The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

　　The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."

　　Next day the Irishman opens his lunch b box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too, the blonde opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also.

　　At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping, she says, "if I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!" the Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," She said. "He made his own lunch."

　　簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話短文 篇6

　　At the police department, the phone rang. “Hallo, hallo!”

　　the policeman answered. “I’ve lost my cat!”

　　And the policeman said, “I’m sorry, sir,that’s not the job of the police. We’re too busy!”

　　The person said, “But you don’t understand. This is a ver intelligent cat! He’s almost human; he can practically talk!”

　　So the policeman said, “Then you’d better hang up.

　　He might be trying to call you!”

　　簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話短文 篇7

　　When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."

　　As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "

　　簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話短文 篇8

　　One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.

　　The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?

　　The little girl replied, My homework.

　　簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話短文 篇9

　　A shop owner closed his shop and went home. He was very tired but just as he went to bed, the telephone rang. A man asked, "What time do you open your shop?"

　　The owner was angry about this phone call. He put down the telephone without answering and went back to bed. A few minutes later, his telephone rang again and the man asked the same questions. The owner became very angry and he shouted, "You needn't ask me when I open the shop for I won't let you in."

　　"Oh, no, I don't want to get in," the man said, "I want to go out now . "

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