兒童英語(yǔ)小笑話

　　Tell a lie

　　Mom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?"

　　Victor: "I want that one of the greatest."

　　Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one."

　　Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?"

　　媽媽?zhuān)?ldquo;你要哪一只香蕉，維克多?”

　　維克多：“我要那只最大的。”

　　媽媽?zhuān)?ldquo;維克多，你應(yīng)該懂禮貌，要那只小的。”

　　維克多：“媽媽?zhuān)�難道懂禮貌就必須說(shuō)謊嗎?”

　　I Don't Like an Argument 我不想爭(zhēng)論

　　Gerald, asked the teacher, what is the shape of the earth?

　　It's round, answered Gerald.

　　How do you know it's round? continued the teacher.

　　All right, it's square then, he replied, I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!

　　杰拉爾德，老師問(wèn)：地球是什么形狀?

　　是圓形的，杰拉爾德回答道。

　　你怎么知道是圓的?老師又問(wèn)。

　　好吧，那它是方的，學(xué)生回答說(shuō)：我可不想與你爭(zhēng)論這件事情。

　　Two Birds 兩只鳥(niǎo)

　　Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

　　Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

　　Teacher: Please tell us.

　　Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

　　老師： 這兒有兩只鳥(niǎo)，一只是麻雀。誰(shuí)能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎?

　　學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

　　老師：請(qǐng)說(shuō)說(shuō)看。

　　學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。

　　Three Turtles 三只烏龜

　　Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

　　The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."

　　The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."

　　"We won't," the other two promised.

　　Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."

　　Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

　　三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。它們剛到咖啡店的門(mén)口，就下起雨來(lái)。于是最大的那只烏龜對(duì)最小的烏龜說(shuō)，“回家去取傘吧。”

　　最小的烏龜說(shuō)，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

　　“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應(yīng)說(shuō)。

　　兩年后，大烏龜對(duì)中烏龜說(shuō)，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來(lái)了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

　　正在這時(shí)，一個(gè)聲音從門(mén)外傳來(lái)，“你們要是喝了，我就不去。”

　　Who Is the Laziest 誰(shuí)最懶

　　Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

　　Tom: I don't know, father.

　　Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

　　Tom: Our teacher, father.

　　父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過(guò)，現(xiàn)在我想問(wèn)你個(gè)問(wèn)題。你們班上誰(shuí)最懶?

　　湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。

　　父親：啊，不對(duì)，你知道!想想看，當(dāng)別的孩子們都在做作業(yè)、寫(xiě)字時(shí)，誰(shuí)在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課?

　　湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。

　　But the teacher cried 可是老師哭了”

　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled(被寵壞的) . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(亂發(fā)脾氣) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.

　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

　　Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?

　　Cry? John asked. No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!

　　六歲的約翰嬌生慣養(yǎng)。他的父親知道這一點(diǎn)，可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是鬧。他第一天上學(xué)才離開(kāi)祖母的懷抱。

　　約翰放學(xué)了，他奶奶在門(mén)口接他并問(wèn)道：學(xué)校怎么樣?你過(guò)的好嗎?哭了沒(méi)有?

　　哭?約翰問(wèn)，不，我沒(méi)哭，可老師哭了。

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