最新英語笑話

　　最新英語笑話一：

　　A Great ManTeacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

　　最新英語笑話二：

　　A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.

　　最新英語笑話三：

　　Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.

　　"Let’s go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven’t been anywhere for a long time."

　　Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything. "

　　They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.

　　Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.

　　"Fun flights!" the notice said, " $ 10 for 10 minutes.

　　Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.

　　"I’ve only got $ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, "I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight."

　　Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.

　　The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.

　　When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn’t make a sound. She can have her ride free."

　　"Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."

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