十萬(wàn)個(gè)冷笑話英文版

　　十萬(wàn)個(gè)冷笑話英文版一：

　　A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".

　　十萬(wàn)個(gè)冷笑話英文版二：

　　A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

　　一份報(bào)紙組織了一場(chǎng)競(jìng)賽，為下面的問題征集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫，你將救出哪一幅?”

　　The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

　　獲獎(jiǎng)的答案是：“最接近門口的那一幅。”

　　十萬(wàn)個(gè)冷笑話英文版三：

　　A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.

　　乘客輕拍了一下出租車司機(jī)的肩膀,想問個(gè)問題. 司機(jī)大叫起來, 車也失去了控制, 幾乎撞上一輛公車, 還上了便道, 在還差幾厘米就撞上商店櫥窗時(shí)終于停了下來.

　　The driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

　　司機(jī)說,“伙計(jì),別再這么干了. 你把我嚇破膽了!”乘客抱歉地說, “我沒想到拍你一下就嚇成這樣.” 司機(jī)說,“對(duì)不起,也不全是你的錯(cuò). 今天是我第一天開出租. 以前25年里我一直開殯葬車.”

　　Note:

　　Daylights: 復(fù)數(shù)時(shí), daylight可不是“白晝”的意思, 而是“神智, 知覺”的意思.

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