最搞笑的英文笑話

　　最搞笑的英文笑話一：

　　Keys? Kiss? 　　A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the keys." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.

　　最搞笑的英文笑話二：

　　The Same Action Yields the Same Result A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest,and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well."So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area.The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last year."

　　最搞笑的英文笑話三：

　　Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.

　　一個(gè)人得了重病，妻子伴隨他去看醫(yī)生。檢查過后，醫(yī)生示意病人的妻子到走廊見他。

　　"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.

　　“你丈夫病得很重，”醫(yī)生說，“但有三件事可保住他的'性命。第一，一日三餐，要營養(yǎng)美味。第二，給他一個(gè)輕松的環(huán)境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都對(duì)他傾注熾熱的愛。”

　　On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"

　　在驅(qū)車回家的路上，丈夫問道：“醫(yī)生說了什么?”

　　"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it.

　　“很遺憾，”她說，“你活不成了。”

　　Notes: 　　gravely adv.特別嚴(yán)重地 　　physician n.醫(yī)生 　　motion v.以動(dòng)作或手示意 　　ensure v.保證 　　survival n.生存 　　stress-free adj.沒有壓力的 　　complain(about)v.抱怨;發(fā)牢騷 　　passionate adj.熱烈的

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