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　　精選三則小編喜歡的英語笑話 在快樂中學(xué)習(xí)英語

　　The minister announced that he would preach on the subject of liars next Sunday. He said, "To make preparation for my discourse(論述，演講), I hope you all read the seventeenth chapter of Mark."

　　On the following Sunday, when the minister began to preach, he said: "Now, if you have read the seventeenth chapter of Mark as I requested, please raise your hand." Almost everybody's hand went up.

　　Then the minister said: "I want to tell you that there is no seventeenth chapter of Mark."

　　牧師宣布下個(gè)禮拜天他布道時(shí)要講說謊者的問題。他說：“為了給這次布道做好準(zhǔn)備，我希望大家都去看看《馬可福音》的第十七章。”

　　到了下個(gè)禮拜天，牧師開始布道時(shí)說：“如果你們按照我的要求看過《馬可福音》的第十七章，現(xiàn)在舉手。”幾乎每個(gè)人都舉了手。

　　牧師就說：“我要告訴你們，《馬可福音》并沒有第17章。”

　　The preacher was vexed(生氣的) because a certain member of his congregation(集合，聚會(huì))always fell asleep during the sermon.

　　As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."

　　Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(講道壇), "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　牧師非常生氣，因?yàn)榭傆幸粋�(gè)人在他說教時(shí)打瞌睡。

　　一個(gè)星期天，正當(dāng)坐在前排的那個(gè)人又在瞌睡時(shí)，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時(shí)睡覺。于是他低聲對(duì)信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請(qǐng)站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當(dāng)然，除了那個(gè)打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請(qǐng)坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請(qǐng)站起來!”

　　打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來�？吹侥翈煾哒驹诮虊�上，正生氣的看著他。這個(gè)人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們?cè)谶x什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”

　　The preacher was vexed(生氣的) because a certain member of his congregation(集會(huì)，圣會(huì))always fell asleep during the sermon.

　　As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."

　　Awaking with a start(嚇一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(講道壇) , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　牧師非常生氣，因?yàn)榭傆幸粋�(gè)人在他說教時(shí)打瞌睡。

　　一個(gè)星期天，正當(dāng)坐在前排的那個(gè)人又在瞌睡時(shí)，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時(shí)睡覺。于是他低聲對(duì)信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請(qǐng)站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當(dāng)然，除了那個(gè)打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請(qǐng)坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請(qǐng)站起來!”

　　打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來�？吹侥翈煾哒驹诮虊�上，正生氣的看著他。這個(gè)人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們?cè)谶x什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”

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