英語(yǔ)小笑話帶
冷笑話是一種新興的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,伴隨著網(wǎng)絡(luò)的普及它已經(jīng)滲透到了青年群體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕松愉悅,也能展示交談?wù)叩挠哪椭腔�。下面是小編精心收集的英語(yǔ)小笑話帶，希望能對(duì)你有所幫助。
英語(yǔ)小笑話帶
Warning
SeveralweeksafteroursonbeganhisfreshmanyearatAlmaCollegeinMichigan,myhusbandandIdecidedtovisithim.Iwascarefultocallhimafewdaysinadvanceto"warn"himthatwewouldbecoming.Whenwearrivedatthedorm,however,Iwastakenabackbythedisarrayofhisroom."Forgotwewerecoming,didn‘tyou?"Iteased.
"Areyoukidding?"hereplied,"WhyelsewouldIhavebotheredtoclean?"
提醒
我們的兒子是密歇根州阿爾馬大學(xué)的新生，開(kāi)學(xué)幾個(gè)星期之后，我和丈夫決定去看看他。我特意提前給他打電話，“提醒”他我們將光臨。但是當(dāng)我們來(lái)到宿舍時(shí)，他的房間凌亂不堪，我非常吃驚�！巴宋覀円獊�(lái)，是吧?”我取笑他�！伴_(kāi)什么玩笑?“，他回答說(shuō)，“要不我憑什么費(fèi)神打掃?”
GroundRules
OneofmyfavoriteteachersatSoutheastMissouriStateUniversityinCapeGirardeauwasknownofhisdrollsenseofhumor.Explaininghisgroundrulestoonefreshmanclass,hesaid,"NowIknowmylecturescanoftenbedryandboring,soIdon‘tmindifyoulookatyourwatchesduringclass.Ido,however,objecttoyourpoundingthemonthedesktomakesurethey‘restillrunning."
基本原則
位于吉拉多海角的密蘇里東南州立大學(xué)有一位我非常喜歡的老師，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在對(duì)一個(gè)新生班級(jí)講解他的基本原則時(shí)，他說(shuō)：“我知道我的講課可能經(jīng)常會(huì)枯燥乏味，了無(wú)生趣，所以如果你們?cè)谏险n時(shí)看表我并不介意。不過(guò)我堅(jiān)決反對(duì)你們將表在課桌上猛敲看它們是不是還在走。”
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."
晚飯后，父親和母親都忙著和客人玩麻將，這時(shí)母親忽然想起點(diǎn)兒事來(lái)，便對(duì)正在看電視的兒子說(shuō)道：“寶貝，去看看廚房里的燈是不是還開(kāi)著呢？” 過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，兒子回來(lái)說(shuō)：“媽，廚房里太黑了，我根本就看不見(jiàn)。”
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學(xué)生多了解一點(diǎn)優(yōu)秀的古典音樂(lè)，就安排了一天下午去聽(tīng)音樂(lè)會(huì)。為了使這次活動(dòng)能給大家留下更深的印象，她請(qǐng)大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點(diǎn)心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來(lái)上汽車的'時(shí)候，她問(wèn)小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎?”
“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說(shuō)，“除了音樂(lè)其它都很好。
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.律師的狗，沒(méi)有拴而到處閑逛，它來(lái)到一家肉店，偷走了一塊 烤肉。店主來(lái)到律師的辦公室，問(wèn)道“如果一條沒(méi)栓的狗從我的商店里偷了塊肉，我有權(quán)利從狗的主人那里要回?fù)p失嗎?律師答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗沒(méi)栓而且今天從我的店里頭了塊肉”，律師什么都沒(méi)說(shuō)，馬上給他寫(xiě)了一張支票。一些天后，店主打開(kāi)郵箱，發(fā)現(xiàn)一封來(lái)自律師的信，信上寫(xiě) 道：咨詢費(fèi)250美元。
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