英文幽默小笑話帶翻譯

　　幽默小笑話可以為少年兒童提供優(yōu)秀的讀物和閱讀的空間，鼓勵他們自主而愉快地閱讀，引領(lǐng)快樂閱讀、健康閱讀的新風(fēng)尚，并借此架起兒童與閱讀之間的橋梁，為他們鋪設(shè)一條彌漫著書香的成長之路，讓閱讀成為孩子一生的熱愛。英文幽默小笑話帶翻譯應(yīng)該怎么寫?

　　1、 "Guns Buried in the Garden An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden. He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!" At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."一個老人獨居在北愛爾蘭，他的獨生子正在坐牢。老人想在花園里種些土豆，但不知道誰可以幫忙把泥土翻松。他寫信想兒子提及此事，兒子回信說道：“看在上帝的面上，千萬不要翻松花園的泥土，我把槍埋在那兒了�！钡诙�天凌晨4點，一隊英國士兵出現(xiàn)在老人家中，在花園把土地翻遍，但并沒有找到任何qiang支。” 老人寫信告訴兒子這件奇怪的事情，問到底發(fā)" 生了什么事情，下 一步應(yīng) 該怎 么 做。 兒子回信 道：“ 你 只管 種土 豆好 了。”

　　2、 "An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?""Sure. That's easy," said one man."What is it?""H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.""What, what?" reasked the instructor."H to O," explained the chemistry expert.生化戰(zhàn)爭課的老師在課堂上問士兵們：“誰知道水的分子式?”“當(dāng)然，太簡單了�！币粋�士兵回答道�！笆鞘裁�?”“H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.”“什么，什么?”老師又問道�！癏 to O，”化學(xué)專家解釋道。"

　　3、 "Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, "That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch."老師正在給學(xué)生上生物課：“現(xiàn)在，我將要給你們看我袋子里的這只青蛙�！苯又�，他把手伸進口袋，卻拿出了一份雞肉三文治。老師滿臉困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一會兒，說道：“真奇怪。我明明記得我已經(jīng)把午飯吃掉了�！�"

　　4、 "After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"和盲約對象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開了。當(dāng)他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說：“有個不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛?cè)ナ懒��！薄爸x天謝地!”他的約會對象說，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”"

　　5、 "A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything.""That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.一個律師與一個工程師在加勒比海邊釣魚。律師說：“我到這里是因為我的房子被大火燒了，保險公司賠償了我所有的損失�！薄斑@太巧了，”工程師說，“我是因為房子被洪水沖垮了，保險公司也賠償了所有的損失�！甭蓭熆雌饋碛行├Щ螅�“你是怎么引起洪水的?”他不解的問。"

　　6、 The Indian Who Could Foretell the Weather Two men were travelling in a very wild and lonely part of America. For days they had not even seen a house， only a few huts made of wood， or tents made of skins. Then one day they met an old Indian who earned his living by trapping animals for heir fur. They found that he knew their language and they had a little conversation with him. One of them asked him if he could tell them what the weather would be like within the next few days. “Oh yes，”he said.“Rain is coming， and wind.Then there will be snow for two days， but after that there will be bright sunshine.” “Is n't that wonderful?” said one man to his friend.“These old Indians know more of the secrets of Nature than we do with all our science. They have not been spoiled by civilization.” Then he turned to the old Indian. “Tell me，”he said，“how you knew all that.” The Indian replied，“I heard it on the radio.”有兩個人在美洲一個非 �；臎銎�僻的地區(qū) 旅行。 好多 天 來， 他們連所 房子也 沒看 到， 只看 見幾 個木棚子和皮帳篷。一天，他們遇到一個靠獵取獸皮謀生的印第安老人。他們發(fā)現(xiàn)他懂得他們的語言，就和他聊了一會兒。其中一個人問他，能否告知近幾天的天氣如何。 “哦，行啊”，他說�！熬鸵�下雨了，還要刮風(fēng)。接著還得下兩天雪。這以后，就是大晴天了�！� “這不是太神奇了嗎?”一個旅行者對他的朋友說。“這些印第安老人深知大自然的秘密，比我們有科學(xué)知識的人知道的還多。他們并沒有被現(xiàn)代文明所迷惑。”接著他轉(zhuǎn)向印第安老人： “請問，”他說，“你是怎么知道這一切的呢?” 印第安老人答道：“我是從無線電里聽來的�！�

　　7、 "Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Bill and he went into the store. "How much are the apples?" he asked the store."Six for five cents." "But I don't want six apples." "How many apples do you want?" "It is not a question of how many apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic." "What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic?" asked the man."Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worth four cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples are worth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay" you."Bill picked out a goo "d apple," began to eat "it," and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word.比爾是一個好學(xué)生，也是個聰明的孩子。他喜歡學(xué)數(shù)學(xué)，課本上所有的數(shù)學(xué)問題他都能不費勁地解答。有一天，在上學(xué)路上，比爾經(jīng)過一家水果店。該店窗戶上有個招牌上寫著：“蘋果--五美分六個�！北葼柲X筋一轉(zhuǎn)，進了店門。 “蘋果怎么賣?” “五美分六個�！� “但我不想要六個。” “你想要幾個?” “這不是我想要幾個的問題。這是個數(shù)學(xué)問題。” “數(shù)學(xué)問題?你說這話是什么意思?”“你看，如果六個蘋果五美分，那么五個蘋果四美分，四個蘋果三美分，三個蘋果二美分，二個蘋果一美分，一個蘋果就不要錢。我只要一個蘋果，如果一個蘋果一分錢也不要的話，那我也就沒必要給你錢了�！北葼枓�了一個好蘋果，開始吃了起來，然后興高采烈地邁出了店門。那個售貨員吃驚地望著這個小男孩，一句話也說不出來。

　　8、 "I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."　　Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"我稱贊我的一個同事減肥10磅。可是，我禁不住夸耀說我17歲時，體重225磅，而目前體重是224磅。我還說：“這對我這樣年齡的男子來說，是不錯的。” 　　一個女子聽到了這些話，她說道：“你是說你花了這么長時間才減了1磅?”"

　　9、 ""Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."“醫(yī)生”她沖進屋后大聲說道。“我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什么病�！彼麖念^到腳打量打量她，然后大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫(yī)生住在樓下。”"

　　10、 "Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的�！�"

　　11、 My uncle has 1000 men under him.He is really somebody. What does he do?A maintenance man in a cemetery.我叔叔下面有1000個人。他真是一個大人物。干什么的?墓地守墓人。

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