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英語笑話小故事合集
引導(dǎo)語：英語，是陪伴每個(gè)人從小學(xué)到大學(xué)的一門學(xué)科，甚至有人終身都要學(xué)習(xí)英語。如果講英語和笑話結(jié)合起來，是否能讓你對英語產(chǎn)生濃厚的興趣呢?下面是由YJBYS小編為大家?guī)淼挠⑽男⌒υ�，希望大家喜歡。
hey Are Directly from America
Not long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was real.It mady out of patience.At last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. They.are directly from America. ”
漢譯：
真美鈔
一位中國老婦人到美國去看望女兒回來不久,到一家銀行取存女兒送給她的美元.在銀行柜臺(tái),銀行職員認(rèn)真仔細(xì)的檢查了每一張鈔票看,是否有假.這種做法使老婦人很不耐煩,最后實(shí)在忍不住說：“相信我,先生,也請你相信這些鈔票.這都是真正的美元,是從美國直接帶來的.”
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他贏了
湯姆：約翰尼,你小弟弟好嗎?
約翰尼：他害病臥床了.他受了傷.
湯姆：真糟糕,怎么回事兒?
約翰尼：我們做游戲,看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠(yuǎn),他贏了.
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里.他媽媽問,“發(fā)生了什么事?”
“一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡說.
“再見到他你能認(rèn)出來嗎?”媽媽問.
“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他,”伊凡說.“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢.”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢.
“昨天給你的錢干什么了?”
“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆,”他回答說. “你真是個(gè)好孩子,”媽媽驕傲地說.“再給你兩分錢.可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢?”
“她是個(gè)賣糖果的.”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父親與小兒子一道回家.這個(gè)孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡,老是有提不完的問題.他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父親回答說,“你瞧那兒站著兩個(gè)警察.如果我把他們看成了四個(gè),那么我就算醉了.” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子說,“那兒只有一個(gè)警察呀!”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時(shí),家里沒有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意.這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子.過了一會(huì)兒,他拿著一片奶酪回到房間,把奶酪放在客人的盤子里. 客人微笑著把奶酪放進(jìn)嘴里說：“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好.你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夾上,先生.”那小男孩說.
英語小笑話
上個(gè)星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一個(gè)老美看到就笑我說, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 縮寫正好是 Adidas) " 我正驚訝他怎么反應(yīng)這么快, 聯(lián)想力這么豐富時(shí),旁邊的
一個(gè)老美幫我解圍, 他說, 有一個(gè)很著名的合唱團(tuán) Korn, 他們的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,這個(gè)典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能詳?shù)泥? 下次就換你去取笑老美了.
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子進(jìn)入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"且話僂蚰昴?"上帝說:"一秒鐘."最后男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鐘."
1,Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩只鳥
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥,一只是麻雀.誰能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀嗎?
學(xué)生：我指不出,但我知道答案.
老師：請說說看.
學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀,麻雀旁邊的就是燕子.
2. The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
魚網(wǎng)
"你能告訴我魚網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎,安?" 老師發(fā)問道.
"把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網(wǎng)了." 小女孩回答道.
3. The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too."
新老師
9月1日, 喬治放學(xué)回到家里.
"喬治,你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?" 媽媽問.
"媽媽,我不喜歡,因?yàn)樗f3加3得6, 可后來又說2加4也得6."
4. A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考試
在一次物理考試時(shí),當(dāng)同學(xué)們都還在苦思冥想時(shí),尼克很快就答好了第一個(gè)問題.
這個(gè)問題是：為什么在打雷時(shí),我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲?
尼克的回答是：因?yàn)檠劬υ谇?耳朵在后.
Jim’s History Examination
Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?
Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him
things that happened before the poor boy was born.
吉姆的歷史考試
舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎么樣?
母親：唉,糟透了.可話又說回來,這也不能怪他.嗨,他們盡問一些這個(gè)
可憐的孩子出生前的事兒.
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父親在哪兒?
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”
哥哥想了會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫這些畫唄。”
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道這個(gè)諺語嗎?
一個(gè)小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒有關(guān)系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”
When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"
"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"
約會(huì)
在湯姆工作的大樓里有一個(gè)咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因?yàn)檫@位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。一天她又對湯姆招手并示意湯姆過去。于是湯姆走了過去。她問道，“您現(xiàn)在是單身嗎?”
“對，是單身，”湯姆滿臉堆笑的說。
“我母親也是，”她說，“您愿不愿意見見她?”
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
安眠藥
鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫(yī)生，醫(yī)生給他開了一些強(qiáng)力安眠藥。
星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。他到了辦公室，遛達(dá)進(jìn)去，對老板說：“我今天早上起床一點(diǎn)麻煩都沒有。”
“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了?”
“All the kids make fun of me” the boy cried to his mother.“ They say I have a big head”
“Don't listen to them.” his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”
“Where's the shopping bag?”
“I haven't got one, use your hat.”
大腦袋
“所有的孩子都拿我開玩笑，”小男孩哭著跟媽媽說：“他們說我長了一個(gè)大腦袋。”
“別聽他們的，”他媽媽安慰說：“你的腦袋長得很漂亮。好了，別哭了，去商店買10磅土豆來。”
“購物袋在哪?”
“我沒有購物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了?”
“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。“你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢�？赡銥槭裁磳δ俏焕咸敲锤信d趣呢?”
“她是個(gè)賣糖果的。”
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
外語
一只母老鼠帶著孩子出來散步，突然她看見一只貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽。
母老鼠向著貓叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，貓聽了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回過頭洋洋自得地對孩子說：“現(xiàn)在你知道外語的重要性了吧。
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