亚洲国产日韩欧美在线a乱码,国产精品路线1路线2路线,亚洲视频一区,精品国产自,www狠狠,国产情侣激情在线视频免费看,亚洲成年网站在线观看

中英爆笑笑話

時(shí)間:2020-09-29 12:23:31 爆笑笑話 我要投稿

中英爆笑笑話大全

  笑話的意思有很多種,這都是中國(guó)漢字文化的博大精深之處,笑話這個(gè)字有時(shí)候可以用成語(yǔ)氣。下面是小編為您整理的關(guān)于中英爆笑笑話的相關(guān)資料,歡迎閱讀!

中英爆笑笑話大全

  its part of the game 我在扮演媽媽

  mother: mary, why do you yell and scream so much? play quietly like eddie. see, he doesn't make a sound.

  mary: of course he doesn't. mom, it's part of the game we are playing. he is daddy coming home late, and i'm you.

  媽媽:瑪麗,你為什么這樣大喊大叫的? 為什么不能像艾迪那樣安安靜靜的玩兒呢?你看艾迪一聲兒都不出。

  瑪麗:媽媽,艾迪當(dāng)然不會(huì)出聲了,因?yàn)槲覀儌z正在玩爸爸回家遲到的游戲呢,他扮演爸爸,我扮演你。

  i taught the teacher 我教老師

  mother asked her little boy, darling, what did the teacher teach you today?

  nothing, mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and i told her three.

  母親問(wèn)她年幼的兒子:寶貝,今天老師教了你些什么?

  兒子驕傲地說(shuō):什么都沒(méi)教,媽媽。她反倒問(wèn)我一加二等于幾,我告訴她等于三。

  答非所問(wèn)

  有一天幾個(gè)當(dāng)官的和他手下來(lái)飯店吃飯,店里有個(gè)服務(wù)員(女)剛來(lái)18歲屬狗,經(jīng)驗(yàn)不豐。進(jìn)了飯店后, 領(lǐng)導(dǎo)說(shuō):"小姐!茶! " 小姐:"1234567"(原來(lái)她以為叫她查人數(shù),沒(méi)經(jīng)驗(yàn)) 領(lǐng)導(dǎo):倒茶!! 小姐:"7654321" 領(lǐng)導(dǎo):"你數(shù)啥喃! " 小姐:"我屬狗"

  小樣看誰(shuí)狠

  一只小狗爬上你的餐桌,向一只燒雞爬去,你大怒道:你敢對(duì)那只燒雞怎樣,我就敢對(duì)你怎樣,結(jié)果小狗舔了一下雞屁股,你昏倒,小狗樂(lè)道:小樣看誰(shuí)狠。

  樹(shù)葉解決

  樹(shù)林里大號(hào)后發(fā)現(xiàn)沒(méi)帶側(cè)紙,給哥們打電話求救。哥們:你找片樹(shù)葉不就解決了!我:tmd這是松樹(shù)林。

  漫漫人生路,誰(shuí)不錯(cuò)幾步!

  漫漫人生路,誰(shuí)不錯(cuò)幾步!家庭要照顧,情人也得處!家里有個(gè)做飯的,外面養(yǎng)個(gè)心善的,對(duì)桌坐個(gè)好看的,遠(yuǎn)方有個(gè)思念的!保住二,守住一,發(fā)展三四五六七!

  狗也知道這個(gè)諺語(yǔ)嗎?

  the little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

  "it's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. don't you know the proverb: barking dogs don't bite?"

  "ah, yes," answered the little boy. "i know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

  一個(gè)小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的'樣子。

  "沒(méi)有關(guān)系,"一位先生說(shuō),"不用害怕,你知道這條諺語(yǔ)嗎:“吠狗不咬人!"

  "啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道嗎?"

  掐死他,小樣,還他媽反了

  一群螞蟻爬上了大象的背,但被搖了下來(lái),只有一只螞蟻死死地抱著大象的脖子不放,下面的螞蟻大叫:掐死他,掐死他,小樣,還他媽反了!

  男人靠的住,豬都會(huì)爬樹(shù)

  天是藍(lán)的,海是深的,男人的話沒(méi)一句是真的;愛(ài)是永恒的,血是鮮紅的,男人不打是不行的;男人如果是有錢(qián)的,和誰(shuí)都是有緣的,男人靠的住,豬都會(huì)爬樹(shù)。

  朗讀《白毛女》

  初中時(shí)分角色朗讀《白毛女》 一男生(楊白勞):扯了二斤紅頭繩,給我喜兒扎起來(lái)...... 老師:又不是包木乃伊...

  where's the father? 父親在哪?

  two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

  "look," said the elder brother. "how nice these paintings are!"

  "yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. where is the father?"

  the elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "obviously he was painting the pictures."

  兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫(huà)。

  "看,"哥哥說(shuō),"這些畫(huà)多漂亮呀!"

  "是啊,"弟弟說(shuō)道,"可是在所有這些畫(huà)中,只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?"

  哥哥想了一會(huì)兒,然后解釋道:"很明顯,他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫(huà)這些畫(huà)唄。"

  時(shí)間不早了,回家抱貓去咯

  四只老鼠吹牛,甲:我每天都拿鼠藥當(dāng)糖吃;乙:我一天不踩老鼠夾腳發(fā)癢;丙:我每天不過(guò)幾次大街不踏實(shí);丁:時(shí)間不早了,回家抱貓去咯。

  男孩與女孩

  男孩對(duì)女孩說(shuō): 我給你講個(gè)笑話: 有一天,我和小侄女去動(dòng)物園看梅花鹿,因?yàn)橛悬c(diǎn)熱,鹿們都休息去了。等了好久,也不見(jiàn)。我便去買(mǎi)冰糕,剛走開(kāi),就聽(tīng)見(jiàn)小侄女喊:鹿出來(lái)了,鹿出來(lái)了!快看,鹿(露)出來(lái)了!---- 女孩趕緊把胸前的扣子系好。

  two pieces of cake 兩塊蛋糕

  tom: mom, can i have two pieces of cake, please?

  mom: certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

  湯姆:媽媽,我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?

  媽媽:當(dāng)然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!

  這個(gè)人就是娘~

  客車上有個(gè)一身發(fā)廊范兒的男生不停在打電話:"哎呦人家哪會(huì)醬做啦...你就相信我一次會(huì)怎樣哦...",乘客們渾身雞皮疙瘩卻又不好發(fā)作,這時(shí)一個(gè)大哥默默掏出山寨機(jī),用最大音量放起了閻維文的歌,并不斷重復(fù)副歌部分:"啊...這個(gè)人就是娘~"

【中英爆笑笑話大全】相關(guān)文章:

笑話大全爆笑集10-07

短句笑話大全爆笑10-12

漫畫(huà)笑話大全爆笑10-04

高級(jí)笑話大全爆笑10-02

笑話大全爆笑201709-29

短篇笑話大全爆笑09-28

爆笑銷售笑話大全09-27

2017笑話大全 爆笑09-26

超短笑話大全爆笑09-25